Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Tor Books Offering Cthulhu Christmas Cards and Baby Onesies

As a part of Tor Books Cthulhu themed December, the book publisher announced today that they will be selling Cthulhu themed Christmas cards and Baby Onesies in their online store. Looking at the quality of the artwork, and the fact that my twin daughters already have D&D themed onesies from Jinx (a gift from my dear friend Eric), this item will definitely be finding its way onto my list of Geek recommendations for Christmas this year.




Looking at the front of the onesie, we see a happy Santa with a happy H.P. Lovecraft sitting on his lap. If you look closely at the chair, you can make out some disturbing iconography. Instead of cheerful woodland animals sculpted into the frame, we see something more squamous and rugose.



Where we really see the sinister nature of these shirts is on the back side. Here we see that Santa isn't who we originally thought, instead of hailing from the North Pole he hails from Sleeping R'lyeh. Poor little H.P. is getting what he always dreamed about for Christmas, but we don't always want what we see in our dreams.

You can buy the shirt here.

Real Reason for "Mayan Apocalypse"

John Kovalic shows us how 2012 is just the Mayan version of the y2k technology error. When in doubt, blame IT guys.

One thing though. Did you notice how close, "CTL ALT KINICH AHAU" is to Cthulhu?

Which reminds me how close CTL-ALT-DEL is to Cthulhu.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

The Real Cthulhu and the Meaning of Christmas



While the winter season is a season of celebration and family, it is also a season in which much of nature "dies" covered in a white shroud and under a bleak sky. In his story, "Sorcery from Thule," Manly Wade Wellman wrote of the connection -- in the human imagination -- of winter and terror. Wellman's story contains a brief section demonstrating why dark magics from Hyperborea, and the horror of Poe's Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym and H.P. Lovecraft's At the Mountains of Madness all share a quality in their use of frigid climates to add to their sense of terror.

He paused a moment, even then, to ponder the connection between thoughts of evil and thoughts of the Arctic. Lovecraft, who wrote and thought as no other man about supernatural horror, was forever commenting upon the chill, physical and spirtual, of wickedness and baleful mystery. The ancients had believed in whole nations of warlocks to the far north -- Thule and Hyperborea. Iceland and Lapland had been synonyms for magic. Where did one find the baleful lycanthrope most plentiful? In frozen Siberia...Death's hand is icy. The Norseman's inferno is a place of utter dark and sleet.


There is something chilling, pardon the pun, about the chilling season.

In this haunted spirit of the season, Tor books have decided to follow up on their "Steampunk" month theme by having December be their "Month of Cthulhu."

Their first offering this month is a welcome piece of evangelism for H.P. Lovecraft as writer and as person, written by Weird Tales editor Steven H. Segal. His article focuses on Howard, as he calls him in the piece, as Geek -- as one of us. It is a nice portrait and runs smack against the typical portrayal of Lovecraft as recluse, though the piece does call Howard emotionally backward early on.

Segal presenting Lovecraft as "one of us" is important and helps dispel images of some attic dwelling weirdo, though Kenneth Hite's easy dismissal of Lovecraft as recluse in Cthulhu 101 does an even better job, which is an image that -- if cultivated -- will introduce Lovecraft to those who might otherwise overlook him. People read Neil Gaiman because, in addition to being a very good writer, he looks accessible and cool. Lovecraft might never look "cool," but he should certainly be viewed as accessible.

One thing that Segal leaves out in his litany of things Lovecraft would do if he lived as a modern geek is blogging. Lovecraft would blog. He would blog oceans of text. He would comment on innumerable other blogs. And his blog would be one of the most popular blogs on the internet. Lovecraft would be bigger than 4chan or Penny Arcade.

Monday, November 30, 2009

ICv2 Defends Indefensible WFRP 3rd Review

This is a strongly worded post. Before reading it, readers should know that I am a fan of Bill Bodden's work in general and that I do have a great deal of respect for him. I also think that ICv2 is an invaluable resource on the net. These are some of the reasons I was so deeply disappointed and prompted to write this post. I am not an employee of FFG, or any other gaming company.




On November 25th, 2009, the ICv2 website featured a professional review (written by Bill Bodden) of the Warhammer Fantasy Roleplaying Game 3rd Edition recently released by Fantasy Flight Games. I wrote about the controversy this new game would stir back in August.

The review rated the game 3 out of 5 stars, not an overly harsh rating, but the review itself was so deficient in substantive details that I was tempted to write a post entitled "How not to write a professional game review." Eventually, I decided not to write the post about the post, but the review itself still bothered me -- for reasons I will explain soon enough. I was prepared to leave the review behind me and write it off as one bad review on a site that has continually provided high quality content. Something happened last night to change my opinion.

First, Christian Peterson (CEO of Fantasy Flight Games) wrote ICv2 to complain about Bodden's review.

Second, ICv2 decided to defend the review.

I could understand ICv2 responding to some of the claims made in the Peterson email, but I could not -- and cannot -- understand any rational defense of Bodden's initial 396 word review. It was hack work, phoned in, and failed to serve the purposes that a review on ICv2's site ought to serve.

These are strong words regarding Bodden's work, work unworthy of a game designer I have great respect for in general, and as such require strong supporting evidence, which I hope to provide as this post continues.

Go back and read his initial review, linked above, before reading further here. Done? Good. Now we can begin.

I would like to start by providing what I will call a "Jefferson's Bible" version of Bodden's review. For those of you who are unfamiliar, Thomas Jefferson edited a version of the Bible which contained all of the important moral content, with none (actually only one) of the miracles. The "Jefferson's Bible" version of Bodden's review is as follows.

The roleplaying game industry is in decline. Fantasy Flight Games is trying to bring new people into the hobby with their WFRP3 game. The game has pretty board game like parts and is expensive. Because it is like a board game, existing gamers might not like it. Because it is expensive, new gamers will not buy it.


That's pretty much what Bodden wrote and it doesn't serve either of the purposes that a review on ICv2 ought to serve -- to be fair it partially covers one of the two purposes, but only just.

ICv2 is a news website for game and comic book retailers, and as such reviews from the site ought to fulfill the two following purposes.

First, and foremost, they must give retailers an idea regarding how well a particular game might perform financially. Retailers need all the help they can get in predicting demand, and it is up to retailer magazines like ICv2 to assist retailers with making informed decisions. A review ought to contain information in this regard, and Bodden's does have a little -- but only a little. He mentions that the game has a high entry cost which might affect sales of the item. This is important information, but it is also obvious information. The item has a suggested retail price of $99.95. This is hard to overlook, and the individual retailer has a better grasp of his own customer's willingness to hand over $100 than an industry magazine. The industry magazine needs to provide some information regarding the general demand, higher or lower than a typical game of this price point, the item might have. This would have been a perfect place for Bodden to discuss the controversy stirred by the release of a new edition of the game.

Rather than expressing his own concerns regarding the system, he could have presented a sense of the sentiment of the gaming community at large -- something that requires more than reviewing online sentiment. It requires market research, something the magazine (and not necessarily Mr. Bodden) should be doing. He does not do this. I don't expect Bodden to have detailed sales figures for FFG, who like most game companies grip their sales figures in a death grip which reduces information in the marketplace and undermines a retailer's ability to predict demand, but I do expect ICv2 to do some surveys regarding the general excitement level regarding WFRP3. They could provide this data to Bodden for entry into his review.

The second, and almost equally valuable, role that a review on a site dedicated to retailers must serve is to provide information about how a product works. When a customer approaches your average store owner looking for a product, he or she doesn't merely ask "is this any good?" On the contrary, the typical customer asks, "what is this game like and how does it play?" If a store owner is armed with information about the workings of a product, it saves him or her the time of playing and examining a game and the cost of purchasing a demo/test copy. Neither of these is an insignificant cost. An informed retailer is a trusted retailer, and it is ICv2's and Bodden's job to help create informed retailers so the hobby can grow. It ought to be a part of their mission statement.

Who do you trust when asking about a product? Do you trust the guy who says, "I've heard the game is expensive and plays like a boardgame?" Do you trust the guy who is able to break down game play, talk about the types of gamers who might be interested in the product, and who can compare the price point to similar products? I prefer the second guy, and wanted Bodden to provide the kind of information that can make retailers into those kinds of sales people without them having to spend $50.00 in inventory, and a variable amount of money in hours demo-ing, in order to achieve a level of understanding.



What makes all of this more egregious on the part of both ICv2 and Bodden, is that Bodden could have written a better review than he did with only information available on the FFG website. Their website provided the following advance stories detailing components, game play, and containing some actual text from the game itself. Some of these resources are listed below.



I know that this critique of a review may sound like I am attacking the reviewer, rather than the review, but there is so little actual content to the review that one must attack the review for that lack of content. Mr. Bodden received a review copy of the game, a copy he received far too close to the release date to get a good "advance review" and this is a big failure on FFGs part, but his review demonstrates no special knowledge that could not have been garnered from the FFG website or from a press release regarding the game.

Here is a list of the questions Bodden fails to answer:

How does the game play?
Is it like Heroquest, Runebound, Warhammer Quest, WFRP2?
How well written is the product?
Are the rules clear?
Can a new player understand how to play?
Are the components made of cheap materials?
Will they hold up under regular use?
How does the price compare to similar products?
Is there controversy regarding the game?
How can I as a retailer promote this game to expand the hobby?
With a price point of $99.95, the average retailer will be paying approximately $55.00 net, is it worth selling at a $25% discount? (something that would still give me $20 of revenue)


These are all questions that customers might ask a retailer, or that a retailer would want to know.

I should note that ICv2 is right, in one regard, in defending their critic. They are siding with their own staff over an advertiser who wants to control information. It is ICv2's job to ensure that retailers get more than the marketing efforts of companies to base their purchase decisions upon, and protecting reviewers at the possible expense of advertising dollars is a good way to demonstrate a commitment to accuracy. But accuracy isn't the problem with Bodden's review. His review is accurate in all non-normative aspects, what his review lacks is detailed and useful information for the retailer -- or even for the potential consumer.

As a point of comparison, I'd like to offer Aaron Allston's capsule review of ENEMIES for the first edition of the Champions role-playing game. The capsule review is written for consumers, and not retailers, but it is useful to retailers who might have considered carrying the book in 1982. The review is 190 words. (I will remove the review at the request of Mr. Allston, or the current owner of Space Gamer magazine.)

This is one of the first supplementary releases for the superhero RPG Champions. Presented are 36 villains of various experience and intent, each with detailed statistics and illustrations.

I wouldn’t buy this product if it were for an old, established RPG; six dollars for 36 NPCs is a little steep. However, it is worth it to pick up this booklet, simply because it contains so many complete characters. Character generation in Champions is by point-allocation, with some ambiguities in the rules. ENEMIES clears up some of the ambiguities, and corrects some problems that I didn’t know existed. However, editing is sloppy. Several examples of identical disadvantages showed dissimilar point values. This may be because the values of disadvantages vary from campaign to campaign, but this is not explained. There are a number of typos. The first villain in the book, evidently a genius at evasive maneuvering, has cleverly eluded the table of contents. The illustrations are fair to good, but the layout of pages throughout the book is often amateurish and confusing.

Buyers wishing to see interesting and useful applications of Champions character-building would do well to pick this up.


Allston provides specific examples of uses and errors in the book and details responses to concerns some consumers might have. If someone asks why they should spend $6 for 36 NPCs, I have an answer. I also have answers regarding quality of product and overall use within a line of products.

In all humility, I think my prior post on the announcement of the new WFRP game has as much insight as Mr. Bodden's review of a now available game, and that is why Mr. Bodden's review is indefensible. He should have taken the time to write a detailed review, rather than attempt to meet a deadline when the game company gave him the game with too little time to provide an in depth review by Black Friday.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Hulu Recommendation Friday -- The Best Chrismukkah Ever

In 2003, Jody and I were still pretty new to life in the Southland. We were also both very busy, especially Jody who was attending USC for Film School at the time. During mid-term week and finals week, she would pretty much spend the full week on campus. During these times, I would drive from our apartment in Crenshaw to the USC campus to spend breakfast with Jody and then I would head out to work and school out in Glendora and Claremont. Then at night, I would stop by the USC campus to eat dinner with Jody and return to our apartment to work on papers, read for class, or prep for my weekly D&D game while listening to the sounds of helicopters and police sirens.

2003 was also when The O.C. came on the air. I avoided the show like the plague for its first season. I had no interest in watching the 00's version of 90210 -- though I guess that job is now being done by 90210. It wasn't until the summer of 2004 that I began to watch the show. Jody had caught an episode from late in the season and it had piqued her interest by the sheer absurdity of the narrative. Eventually, we added the show to our Netflix queue and we've been hooked ever since.

Yes, the show was an evening teen soap, but its combination of geek references and self-referential style was just the thing to give Jody and me a few laugh. Doug Liman's direction of the first episode is magnificent, and we have been big fans of Josh Schwartz since we saw The Best Chrismukkah Ever episode. What red blooded male comic book collector hadn't wished that his girlfriend would dress up as Wonder Woman as a Christmas present? It was laugh out loud funny.

The first season, and the last season, of The O.C. are the best seasons of the show. They both maximize the elements that make the show worthwhile -- family, friends, and geek references. The show got lost in the middle somewhere as show runners took the show in less satisfying directions, but the show's finale is one of my favorite episodes of television.

Enjoy "The Best Chrismukkah Ever"

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

TCM Celebrates Christmas, but Not on Christmas Day

Turner Classic Movies is arguably the best channel on television, especially if you are a classic film fan. Every Thursday, in the weeks leading up to Christmas Day, the channel will be highlighting some classic holiday movie fare. Many of the films are not as well known as they should be, and others are annual staples in the Lindke household.

Cinerati-friend J.C. Loophole of The Shelf blog has been kind enough to share these Thursday schedules with us, as well as some comments regarding the upcoming TCM film festival in Los Angeles in April 2010 which will be showing a restoration of Fritz Lang's METROPOLIS.

One interesting twist to the schedule is that TCM is airing a Sherlock Holmes Marathon on Christmas Day that they have called, punny enough, "Holmes for the Holidays." While it makes a certain amount of sense from a market standpoint, the new Guy Ritchie Holmes film is coming out on Christmas Day, it doesn't strike me as particularly "Christmassy." The only Holmes story that makes me feel remotely in he holiday spirit is the wonderful YOUNG SHERLOCK HOLMES directed by Barry Levinson and written by Chris Columbus. YOUNG SHERLOCK HOLMES is one of those Lindke household holiday staples. Columbus' own HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER'S STONE is also on that list of Lindke holiday must sees.

Let's have a look at what TCM is offering this holiday season.




Thursday, Dec. 3
  • 8 p.m. – A Christmas Carol (1938), starring Reginald Owen and Gene Lockhart.
  • 9:15 p.m. – Little Women (1949), starring June Allyson, Elizabeth Taylor, Janet Leigh and Margaret O’Brien.
  • 11:30 p.m. – Tenth Avenue Angel (1948), starring Margaret O’Brien and Angela Lansbury.
  • 1 a.m. – 3 Godfathers (1948), starring John Wayne, Pedro Armindáriz, Harry Carey Jr. and Ward Bond.
  • 3 a.m. – Hell’s Heroes (1930), starring Charles Bickford and Raymond Hatton.
  • 4:30 a.m. – Bush Christmas (1947), starring John Fernside and Chips Rafferty.



  • The John Ford/John Wayne version of 3 GODFATHERS is a masterful demonstration of how a genre film can use tropes from other narrative milieu to create a powerful film that is both touching and beautiful. Like many great films, this one is a remake of a story that had been filmed at least twice before. More recently, the story was adapted -- with significant changes -- into anime with TOKYO GODFATHERS. 3 GODFATHERS is one of Wayne's strongest performances, those performances that are so often overlooked when people want to scoff at Wayne's talent, and is the kind of Christmas film we need more of today.




    Thursday, Dec. 10
  • 8 p.m. – It Happened on 5th Avenue (1947), starring Don DeFore, Ann Harding and Gale Storm.
  • 10 p.m. – Fitzwilly (1967), starring Dick Van Dyke, Barbara Feldon and Edith Evans.
  • Midnight – Love Finds Andy Hardy (1938), starring Mickey Rooney, Judy Garland and Lewis Stone.
  • 2 a.m. – Susan Slept Here (1954), staring Dick Powell, Debbie Reynolds and Anne Francis.
  • 4 a.m. – Little Women (1933), starring Katharine Hepburn, Joan Bennett, Paul Lukas and Frances Dee.






  • Thursday, Dec. 17
  • 8 p.m. – Christmas in Connecticut (1945), starring Barbara Stanwyck, Dennis Morgan and Sydney Greenstreet.
  • 10 p.m. – Holiday Affair (1950), starring Robert Mitchum and Janet Leigh.
  • 11:30 p.m. – Never Say Goodbye (1946), starring Errol Flynn and Eleanor Parker.
  • 1:30 a.m. – Period of Adjustment (1962), starring Tony Franciosa, Jane Fonda and Jim Hutton.
  • 3:30 a.m. – Beyond Tomorrow (1940), starring Harry Carey, C. Aubrey Smith and Maria Ouspenskaya.






  • Thursday, Dec. 24 – Robert Osborne’s Christmas Picks
  • 8 p.m. – Remember the Night (1940), starring Barbara Stanwyck and Fred MacMurray.
  • 9:45 p.m. – Christmas in July (1940), starring Dick Powell and Ellen Drew.
  • 11 p.m. – Chicken Every Sunday (1948), starring Dan Dailey and Celeste Holme.
  • 1 a.m. – Meet Me in St. Louis (1944), starring Judy Garland, Margaret O’Brien, Lucille Bremer and Mary Astor.
  • 3 a.m. – In the Good Old Summertime (1949), starring Judy Garland and Van Johnson.
  • 5 a.m. – The Shop Around the Corner (1940), starring Margaret Sullavan, James Stewart and Frank Morgan.


  • As much as I enjoy Nora Ephron's YOU'VE GOT MAIL, most of its strongest moments are directly out of IN THE GOOD OLD SUMMERTIME and THE SHOP AROUND THE CORNER. These are two of the best romantic comedies ever produced. While they are based on the same story, they are magical in their differences and each provides a different glimpse into what makes romance work. Critics often complain about how much of modern cinema is adaptation, as if this means some sort of dilution of creativity. IN THE GOOD OLD SUMMERTIME and THE SHOP AROUND THE CORNER are perfect demonstrations of how adaptation can result from inspiration.





    Friday, Dec. 25 – Holmes for the Holidays
  • 8 p.m. – The Hound of the Baskervilles (1939), starring Basil Rathbone, Nigel Bruce, Richard Greene and Wendy Barrie.
  • 9:30 p.m. – The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1939), starring Basil Rathbone, Nigel Bruce and Ida Lupino.
  • 11 p.m. – The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes (1970), starring Robert Stephens, Colin Blakely and Genevieve Page.
  • 1:15 a.m. – Sherlock Holmes’ Fatal Hour (1931), starring Arthur Wontner, Ian Fleming and Jane Welsh.
  • 2:30 a.m. – The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959), starring Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee, Andre Morell and Maria Landi.
  • 4 a.m. – A Study in Terror (1965), starring John Neville, Donald Houston, Georgia Brown and Anthony Quayle.
  • Monday, November 23, 2009

    Traci Lords is Dejah Thoris!


    From the folks at The Asylum, those masters of Mockbuster films, comes A Princess of Mars.

    Antonio Sabato Jr. is John Carter.

    Traci Lords is Dejah Thoris.

    I cannot make this up.

    Hey Disney! This is what happens when you take forever with a public domain property.

    The Asylum version of A Princess of Mars comes out on December 29, 2009. I don't care how mind-numbingly bad this is. I must own it. I must own it.



    Thanks to Bill Cunningham for the tip.