Introducing "The Most Medieval Man in the World"

Picking up on a sometimes entertaining ad campaign about "The Most Interesting Man in the World," Professor Richard Scott Nokes of Troy University is running a series of parody commercials entitled "The Most Medieval Man in the World." So far he has posted the first two mockumercials featuring Professor Nokes superheroic alter ego Professor Awesome, PhD. Like the taglines in the Most Interesting Man campaign, the individual quotes are hit and miss -- but the overall effect is quite funny. On an aesthetic note, one wishes that Professor Awesome had used a hand held digital video camera for the live action sequence. Apparently the Most Medieval Man in the World also owns the Most Medieval Digital Camera in the World. The grainy, skippy, blurriness, of the live action ending diminishes a very entertaining idea.

As an aside, I'm still waiting for the tagline, "The D&D Module the Temple of Elemental Evil is based on what happened during one of his 6 week Mead drinking binges."

Films Christian Loves: THE LADY VANISHES

I once asked a dear friend what her favorite Hitchcock movie was. Without a second's hesitation, she stated that it was THE LADY VANISHES. We talked about the strengths of certain Hitchcock films, the weaknesses of others, and why we preferred certain films in his catalog to others.

I have never really bought into the whole "Master of Suspense" label given to Hitch. Certainly, he has directed some wonderfully suspenseful films, and his television show consistently featured suspenseful tales. That's all well and good, but the one thing that all of my favorite Hitchcock films -- save one -- share is a wonderful romance. THE LADY VANISHES contains one such romance. Ostensibly, the film is a mystery, but in reality the film is a wonderful romance -- romantic comedy even.

During the set up of the narrative a young woman named Iris meets a charming older lady named Miss Froy while on a train ride through a fictional central European country. The two hit it off splendidly. But when young miss Iris awakens after passing out on the journey, she awakens to find that Miss Froy is missing. From here the mystery, including some international espionage, begins. This is also when the romance begins. Due to the nature of Iris' earlier unconscious spell, most people write of "Miss Froy" as an hallucination. This is not true for dashing young Gilber, a student of music who has been studying the folk songs of the region. There is something about the young woman's confidence in describing her encounter with Miss Froy that makes Gilbert skeptical of those who dismiss it as mere hallucination. The mystery follows a standard format, but the romance is what makes the tale worth watching. The same is true for most of my favorite Hitchcock films, from To Catch a Thief to The Man Who Knew Too Much (the original version without Jimmy Stewart). Hitchcock's ability to bring romance to the tale is what gives these films their verisimilitude and allows the audience to forget how "setty" the Hitchcockian world appears. The people are real, so we don't need a real looking world.

Sit back and enjoy a masterful film, thanks to Hulu.



THE LADY VANISHES is a great film, but if you were wondering if it is the answer to a question on my "How Well Do You Know Christian?" Facebook quiz -- it isn't.

It should also be noted that the underlying basis for the mystery in this film is likely inspired by real events. During the 1867 Paris World Exposition a woman disappeared and authorities refused to believe the woman's daughter that the woman was ever in attendance at the fair -- a fictional version of the tale is Verwehte Spuren. The 1867 event also served as the inspiration to one of my favorite pulp series, The Avenger.

Marc Bernardin and I Agree. Buffy Doesn't Belong on a List of Women Who Shook Sci-Fi

Marc Bernardin, Cinerati/Geekerati friend and writer for Entertainment Weekly, has a brief discussion of Total Sci-Fi's "The 25 Women Who Shook Sci-Fi." Bernardin asserts, and I strongly agree, that Buffy has no place on a list of Science Fiction leading ladies.

Fantasy and Science Fiction are not the same thing. Yes, Science Fiction is technically Fantasy -- even hard science icon Isaac Asimov had the Mule with his psionic talents and his PSYCHOLOGY using leading man in Second Foundation. Like it or not, there is no real scientific evidence of mind control powers, even when possessed by sterile genetic mutations. Science Fiction often deals with the fantastic, because it is a sub-genre of Fantasy. This means it is more specific, it deals with science. If the vampires of the Buffyverse were the product of a disease as in Richard Matheson's I am Legend, or The Last Man on Earth starring Vincent Price which was inspired by that tale, then she might qualify. But that isn't the case. You see, there is this thing called the Hell Mouth in the Buffyverse and that's straight from the Fantasy playbook.

But my beefs aren't limited to the inclusion of Buffy. I'm peeved at those who were left out of the list in order to include Fantasy characters like Buffy and Willow.

What about Wilma Deering (as played by Erin Grey)?



Or how about Lornette "Mace" Mason?



Or, if you want to reach into crossover genre territory, Emma Peel?



And that's just some of the important TV and film leading ladies left out. Don't even get me going on how egregious it is for any list of SF&Fantasy heroines to leave of Jirel of Joiry. Not to mention real life heroines of SF&Fantasy like Catherine Lucille Moore and Leigh Brackett (to mention only two).

New Collectible Miniatures Game to Debut at Origins Game Fair

A number of gaming titles are premiering at Origins Game Fair this year and among that list of titles is one potentially exciting new game. Game designers who worked on the very successful HeroClix, Pirates of the Spanish Main, and Mechwarrior skirmish based miniatures game are set to release a collectible unit level miniatures war game entitled Arcane Legions.

The game will include armies based on alternate history versions of the Roman Empire, Egyptian Imperium, and Han Dynasty. In addition to the standard historical units one might expect in a traditional historical miniatures line, Arcane Legions will include figures based upon creatures of legend that each faction can use in battle.

Wells Expeditions, the company manufacturing the game, promises retailers and gamers that the game will be less expensive to collect than your typical collectible miniatures/war game. If their press release is to be believed, it certainly will be. According to the release:

Arcane Legions was designed to keep the number of products that need to be stocked and purchased to a minimum by making figures available by faction and offering a two-player Starter Game with more than 110 figures, plus rules, dice, bases and unit cards. Common figures have been removed from randomized Booster Packs and placed into fixed Cavalry and Infantry Army Packs, and sets have been made intentionally small to make collecting even easier. In fact, a player can buy a "Legion Bundle," eight faction-specific Boosters, and get every collectable figure in that faction - guaranteed! Keeping a player's investment low and their enjoyment level high makes Arcane Legions the ideal miniatures game.

As someone who has had to fork out untold dollars buying sets of D&D miniatures from retailers who are willing to break open packs and assemble them, I am very grateful to hear that a collectible game manufacturer is making an effort to satisfy me as a consumer. Based on the pictures posted on the Wells Expeditions update blog (one of those images is included below), the figures look to be within the industry standard for the market. Given the inclusion of some previously underrepresented eras, these figures will have applications beyond use in Arcane Legions games. My D&D game can always use some Egyptian or Han styled figures.

Fantasy Flight Games to Publish Warhammer Fantasy Board Game

Over the past couple of years, Fantasy Flight Games used their game publishing agreement with Games Workshop to revise and republish a number of classic Games Workshop board games from the late 80s. Among these classics are Fury of Dracula, Warrior Knights, and Talisman. Old editions of these games were grabbing onerously high prices on eBay and preventing new gamers from discovering these gems and it has been a blessing that Fantasy Flight Games has brought them back into the marketplace. Some of us are still hoping that Fantasy Flight Games will release a new edition of Space Hulk or Warhammer Quest, though we're not holding our breath as Doom and Descent are pretty good replacements for those hard to find gems.

Following up on the success of these reprints, Fantasy Flight Games will be releasing an original board game based on Games Workshop's Warhammer Fantasy line of products. The game, entitled Chaos in the Old World, puts players in the role of one of four gods of chaos who are descending upon the world in order to remake it as they would see fit.



As Fantasy Flight Games' website describes it:

Chaos in the Old World makes you a god. Each god’s distinctive powers and legion of followers grant you unique strengths and diabolical abilities with which to corrupt and enslave the Old World. Khorne, the Blood God, the Skulltaker, lusts for death and battle. Nurgle, the Plaguelord, the Father of Corruption, luxuriates in filth and disease. Tzeentch, the Changer of Ways, the Great Conspirator, plots the fate of the universe. Slaanesh, the Prince of Pleasure and Pain, the Lord of Temptations, lures even the most steadfast to his six deadly seductions. Yet, as you and your fellow powers of Chaos seek domination by corruption and conquest, you must vie not only against each other, but also against the desperate denizens of the Old World who fight to banish you back to the maelstrom of the Realm of Chaos."

The description implies that the players compete not only against one another, but against the mechanics of the game itself. As in Reiner Knizia's Lord of the Rings -- also published by Fantasy Flight Games -- this can be a rewarding play experience. I eagerly await seeing how Eric M. Lang applies his excellent card game development skills to a competitive board game. The hardest part, other than the waiting, will be choosing between the "six deadly seductions" and the Blood God.

The games first print run will also include two cards that will interact with the Warhammer Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game. The Signet of the Cursed Company lets you wander the battlefields of the Warhammer Online MMO as a fearsome skeletal warrior. The Call to WAR will instantly teleport you to your capital city.

Movies Christian Loves, But Shouldn't #1: Vision Quest

A couple of weeks ago, Nancy Rommelmann -- who put this interesting piece on a question of journalistic ethics up Tuesday -- had a post on her blog asking her readers to post links to songs they should hate, but find immensely enjoyable. Naturally, this prompted me to post a Rick Roll in the comments section. I did this for three reasons. For the fun of it, because the post was essentially begging me to, and because it genuinely is a song that always gets me to do the embarrassing "sway the arms while driving" dance. Her post also prompted me to check out the new Tinted Windows "supergroup" CD, which I have found I enjoy in that Oneders kind of way. Tinted Windows is fronted by Taylor Hanson, of Hanson fame, so I should despise them -- but I find my mp3 player playing a disproportionate number of songs from the album.

Needless to say, Rommelmann's post reminded me of one of the two songs that I truly cannot turn away from -- John Waite's Change -- and the film that contains the scene that always jumps to the forefront of my mind when I hear the song.

Excuse me, I'll be right back. I have to work out before I finish this post.

Click the second link in the above paragraph to watch the scene while I jump rope for two minutes.

Whew...back.

Now that you have clicked the last link, you know that John Waite's Change reminds me of the film Vision Quest. If someone were to describe the plot of the film to me in order to see if I would be interested in watching it with them, they'd have to wake me up a couple of seconds after they began their synopsis. The story is the typical coming of age high school male story that usually leaves me cold. Very rarely do they touch upon anything I find meaningful. I usually find the protagonists alien and the world they come from foreign.

Take White Water Summer, starring Sean Astin, as an example. I'm supposed to sympathize with Astin's character, and the fact that I like the actor should make this easy, but I never have. I see Astin's "city kid forced to endure the tyranny of a psychopathic camping enthusiast" as a lying cheating wuss. I always root for Kevin Bacon, who plays the mentally unstable youth counselor. Astin's character just needs to suck it up. And don't even get me going on how The Karate Kid's Daniel-san deserves every Karate kick to the gut he gets after he lied about knowing the martial arts. If you lie to be cool, you'd better be willing to face the consequences -- even if they mean your leg gets swept.

Vision Quest is the tale of Louden Swain (Matthew Modine) who decides to attempt an impossible task. He decides to leave his wrestling weight class, where he is likely the best wrestler in Washington state, to go down two weight classes and wrestle an inhuman wrestling machine named Shute. Shute is so inhuman that his workout regimen includes carrying a massive log on his back while he walks up and down every step of a college football stadium. It is a boring and predictable plot that we've seen done better in the classic Breaking Away where the actions of the protagonist speak for the frustrations of an entire socio-economic sub-culture. Swain isn't a proxy for the frustrations of blue collar Americans who have watched their hopes and dreams disappear as the economy has made the trades of their parents -- and what their future might have been -- obsolete. Swain's character lacks that depth, so I should hate the film.

But I don't. I own the DVD, and whenever Vision Quest is on cable I am compelled to watch. In the case of Vision Quest, it isn't the story that keeps me coming back, it is the characters. Louden Swain was one of the first characters I saw that seemed like a real person to me. When he talked about why he did one thing or another, it made sense and Matthew Modine's performance captured the sense of confusion I felt throughout my teen years.

Then there's Linda Fiorentino. I'd like to take a moment to thank the movies of the '80s for bringing Linda Fiorentino to the big screen. Her performances in Vision Quest and Gotcha! are two of the sexiest performances I have ever seen in film. The 14 year-old boy I was when I saw this movie quickly learned how powerful teenage hormones can be, and he had Linda Fiorentino to thank. This isn't to say that Fiorentino's performance is all "beauty" and no substance, it is the enigmatic depth of her character that makes her so appealing. Here is a women who simultaneously displays interest and disdain, certainty and confusion, naiveté and experience. She's quite a character, and leaves a lasting impression on any viewer.

Even the films minor characters leave lasting impressions. From Daphne Zuniga's performance as the plucky young editor of the school newspaper to Michael Schoeffling's performance as Kuch, one gets a sense of having met real people when the film has ended. When I saw Gross Anatomy years later, it was easy to imagine that the Matthew Modine and Daphne Zuniga characters were the same people from Vision Quest four years later. It should be noted that Zuniga's cute and quirky performance in this film so impressed the 14 year-old me that it is she who I have had a crush on ever since and not Linda Fiorentino. Yes, Fiorentino is a sexual force on the screen, but Zuniga is who I wanted to date.

Even though I should hate it, I can think of far worse things to do with 90 minutes than watch Vision Quest.

Beowulf: Prince of the Geats, Popular Medievalism, and You

Cinerati friend, and Medieval Scholar, Professor Richard Scott Nokes of Troy University (the other Trojans) has post today where he discusses an editorial dilemma faced by a scholarly publication when they were deciding how to publish his paper "Beowulf: Prince of the Geats, Nazis, and Odinists." His article touches upon why the study of popular medievalism is a vital component of any serious scholarship regarding Medieval literature. His paper begins with a discussion of how important Beowulf -- the poem -- has been to various groups for the purposes of national identity, and posits that scholars (and I'm reading a little into Dr. Nokes' words here) need to be able to look at their valued literary artifacts from outside the ivory tower and take seriously popular uses, and misuses, of their beloved tomes.

Professor Nokes' discussion of the moral dilemma the publication faced, and the paper itelf, are worth your time. Stop over and give them a read.

Speaking of worthy reads/plays, here is a glimpse at some of the items Cinerati thinks belong in everyone's "popular medieval" library/game room.

Fantasy Flight Games' Beowulf: The Legend, is an excellent game that mechanically attempts to emulate the rhythm of an epic poem.

I have always enjoyed the TSR Minigames SAGA and VIKING GODS. It should be noted that if you choose to play the Aesir in VIKING GODS, your chances for victory are very slim. The game is very fun, but you must go in with the proper sense of doom. Hela is no ally to the Aesir in this game.

I also enjoy RAGNAROK by SPI, a game that was originally published in an issue of Ares magazine. The Aesir aren't nearly as doomed in the game, so you don't need to be as fatalistic when you begin play.

Over the past two years, White Wolf Publishing released their excellent Scion role playing game. In the game, the players assume the roles of the descendants of ancient gods who have been at war with the Titans for millenia. While the premise of gods versus titans leaps straight from Greek mythology, the game assumes that many pantheons are participating in the same struggle. Naturally, the Giants and other monstrosities from Norse legend fit perfectly within this paradigm and the players can play the Scion's of Thor, Odin, Tyr, or even Loki. The game was originally planned to be three books, which contained a campaign where the players progress from Hero to Demi-God to one of the Gods in the struggle against the Titans.

The success of the Scion title led White Wolf to publish a companion, with more pantheons, and an alternate campaign book entitled Ragnarök. We here at Cinerati cannot wait to play in a Ragnarök game. Ever since hearing tales of our friend Roger Frederick's modern day Ragnarök campaign in the early 90s/late 80s (it used the GURPS Supers system), we have been on the lookout for a well constructed offering that approached the quality hinted at by Roger's players. Sadly, Roger wasn't a part of the writing of this project, but it is an excellent read.

As an aside, I have always wondered if the Völuspá was operating at the behest of Odin in order to fool the giants into thinking they would eventually win in their struggle against the Aesir and Vanir. By giving them a "prophecy" where the trickster betrays the gods in favor of the giants, Odin delays the war and increases the tenants of Valhalla. It would be a grand trick indeed if the Völuspá were a lie.