Star Wars Explained by Someone Who's Never Seen It

This is why we shouldn't judge movies we have never seen. Even if we've "seen little bits."


Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

Thanks to Dr. Horrible's own Felicia Day for the direction. Via Twitter.

KHAN!!! Ricardo Montalban has Passed Away.

Kevin Roderick at LAObserved reports, "City Council President Eric Garcetti announced this morning that actor Ricardo Montalbán died today at home in his district, surrounded by family. Montalban was 88, according to Garcetti, who made the announcement at the Los Angeles City Council meeting."

Dammit! That's all I can say.

Well...except for KHAAAAAN!!!!

Eric Nylund Discusses Mortal Coils on Geekerati Tonight

Tonight at 7pm Pacific, SF and media tie-in author Eric Nylund will be discussing his upcoming book Mortal Coils with me and my fellow hosts on Geekerati. Join Bill Cunningham, Shawna Benson, Eric Lytle, and me as we discuss video game writing and this exciting new novel with Eric Nylund.

Eric Nylund is a New York Times bestselling and World Fantasy Award nominated author of several novels (including HALO: GHOSTS OF ONYX and DRY WATER). MORTAL COILS will be his ninth novel.

Nylund is also a writer and story consultant for Microsoft Game Studios where he helps develop and maintain blockbuster billion-dollar game franchises such as GEARS OF WAR and HALO. He has helped shaped the intellectual property for some the world's best videogame developers including BIOWARE, ENSEMBLE STUDIOS, and EPIC GAMES.

In January 2009, Nylund will have his first comic mini-series published, BATTLESTAR GALACTIC: THE CYLON WAR—a prequel to the television show, which chronicles why the machines started a war against humanity...and how the humans survived!

Also out in the Spring of 2009 is Nylund’s graphic novel, HALO: Genesis, which will appear in the Limited Collector’s Edition of HALO WARS.

He has a Bachelor’s degree in chemistry and a Master’s degree in theoretical chemical physics. He graduated from the prestigious Clarion West Writer’s Workshop in 1994.

MORTAL COILS is a modern fantasy novel about two twins who find out that they have an unenviable heritage that just may tilt the balance in the war between the Immortals and the Infernals.

The people at Tor Books have been kind enough to share the first nine chapters for your reading pleasure.

ABOUT MORTAL COILS

Nestled in a small town between San Francisco and the heart of the California wine country, a set of twins—a brother and a sister—live a life of mundane obscurity. Fiona and Eliot Post dream of running away from the oppressive rule of their grandmother, who has raised them since infancy after their parents were killed in an accident at sea. They hate being part of such a strange family—with all of its restrictive rules. Audrey Post insists on home schooling her grandchildren and forces them to work at a local pizzeria where they are bullied by a tyrannical boss. She seems to truly love Fiona and Eliot, but refuses to allow them to explore the beauty of the world that surrounds them.

On the eve of their fifteenth birthday, however, everything changes. It begins with hauntingly familiar violin music played by a homeless man who reeks of sardines and sulfur; a victorious confrontation with their bully of a boss; and a visit from two mysterious strangers, one known only as "a Driver" and the other who claims to be their long-lost uncle.

It turns out that Fiona and Eliot are much more than ordinary teenagers. They are the result of a single mistake: Years ago, an immortal goddess…and the infernal Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, fell in love. To protect them from their dangerous heritage, Audrey Post valiantly kept the twins hidden and camouflaged from the entities that have sought them over the years, transforming the divine into the dull.

But now they have been found—not only by their maternal relatives, but also by their paternal ancestors. For millennia, the Immortals and the Infernals have abided a strict law that they may not meddle in each others' affairs. The twins represent a new balance of power, however, and can potentially open a door into the unknown. If they tip one way, they can be a great boon for the Immortals. If they tip the other way, they will be a powerful asset to the Infernals.

Each family is determined to gain control of Fiona and Eliot. But in order to establish the twins' proper place and rightful allegiance, they each must devise tests to determine which side the twins favor. The Immortals create three heroic trials inspired by urban legends, taking them into deeper and more dangerous pockets of mythology incarnate in the modern world. The Infernals fashion three diabolical temptations for the twins, each one an attempt to forever isolate brother from sister.

The time has come for Fiona and Eliot to be judged, and it is a matter of life—and death—that they band together and learn to use their fledgling powers. For family allegiances are constantly shifting and the twins' actions could ultimately cause a war of apocalyptic proportions.

Readers will remember Fiona and Eliot long after they've finished the last page of MORTAL COILS, and will eagerly anticipate their next adventure


MORTAL COILS
By Eric Nylund

A Tor Trade Paperback Original
ISBN: 0-7653-1797-4
$14.95/608 pages
Publication date: February 3, 2009
www.tor-forge.com

ABOUT GEEKERATI RADIO – Geekerati Radio is an online radio show hosted by Christian Lindke, Shawna Benson, Bill Cunningham, and Eric Lytle which features discussion of popular culture by geeks for geeks and is a featured show in the BlogTalkRadio network. The Geekerati Radio show airs Wednesday nights at 7pm Pacific and the archives are available 24/7.

Dark Knight: The World's Finest Edit

I believe the most recent Batman film, THE DARK KNIGHT, is a masterpiece. It combines elements from classic comic book narratives with the themes of THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE. If the movie had been written as an issue of WORLD'S FINEST, back in the day, it might have gone a little more like this.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Hat Tip: SFSignal

Once More I am Happy with Steve Jackson Games: Just in Time to Prepare for Munchkin Quest 2

Yesterday I wrote about my disappointment with Steve Jackson Games with regard to their handling of the transition of their Pyramid Online Magazine subscription service. They were shifting from an html format to a much improved pdf format.

You can read the old post to get the whole story. Needless to say, I was upset by two things.

First, that the transition -- which included making available a download featuring all the old Pyramid Online articles -- happened during a time that was crazily busy for me. This was not Steve Jackson Game's fault, just an inconvenience on my end. An inconvenience, that led to me not finding out about the change until well after it had happened. So I missed the archive.

Second, that almost two weeks after sending an email discussing my problem to Steve Jackson Games, I still had not received a response from them. I wasn't expecting them to send me the archive as an attachment or any other kind of special consideration. I just wanted to inform them of the problem, in the hopes that they would handle similar future transitions in a way that is less time sensitive and more customer friendly. I didn't exactly say that in the email, but that was my intention. All I expected was a reply from Steve Jackson Games in return for the email. Some small part of my soul hoped for access to the archive, but as I have written that wasn't really expected. I just wanted good customer service.

It did not appear that I was receiving that service in response to my email. Though it should be noted that I included a list of emails that I sent the email to and ones that I thought I maybe should have used. As it turns out, I should have used one of the emails I did not use.

Today, I received a very nice and professional email from Steven Marsh -- the editor of the online version of Pyramid Magazine. The email was everything I had wanted, if not everything I had hoped for, and it explained the situation perfectly. It even explained why/how they made the archive available.

Sadly, it also affirmed that they would not be making it available again.

Hopefully, they will change their mind on that and offer it at e23 for a fee. There were some excellent articles in the html version of the magazine and it would be a shame to see them disappear forever. After seeing a deceased friend's website completely disappear with the death of journalspace, I am particularly sensitive to the frailty of digital content. But I must admit that I have no idea what the editorial time or the logistics of such an offering would be.

I just know that I once more feel like a happy part of the Steve Jackson Games family. I don't feel like an anonymous consumer, but like a valued client.

That said, I am very much looking forward to the Munchkin Quest Expansion.

FNORD!

Steve Jackson Games Might Have Permanently Lost Me as a Customer

I just might never buy another Steve Jackson Games product again!

That was a hard sentence for me to write. Steve Jackson games has been one of my favorite gaming companies for as long as I can remember. Afternoon sessions of OGRE and CAR WARS are some of my favorite middle school memories. I can thank Christian Hunt for those wonderful memories. Prior to the release of D&D Miniatures, the Cardboard Heroes line of paper miniatures were my minis of choice, some still are, whenever I play(ed) an rpg. AUTODUEL CHAMPIONS was unforgettable, as were all the excellent issues of SPACE GAMER/FANTASY GAMER -- I have a full collection. TOON is one of the greatest games ever designed, and my GURPS library has aided me in running a number of other game systems. I am particularly fond of GURPS Scarlet Pimpernel and GURPS The Prisoner. Not to mention that they were the company that published Robin's Laws of Good Gamemastering, a product of immeasurable value.

It certainly wasn't lack of quality products that might make me decide to never purchase another Steve Jackson Games product.

It is a lack of customer service.

On November 7th, Steve Jackson Games notified people who frequent their site that they were changing the format of their excellent online magazine Pyramid from an html product to a pdf one. I believe this is an excellent decision, but...They also notified their subscribers by the same method that archives to back issues would only be available online until November 21st. I believe this was a bad decision. For two reasons.

First, subscribers -- and I was one -- received no email notifying them of the change.

Second, November 7th through 21st was the worst imaginable time -- for me and likely me alone -- for this change to be made.

There was this little thing called a Presidential election, and its aftermath, that was keeping me -- as a Program Director of a non-profit dedicated to youth civic engagement -- very busy. I ran 28 simulation elections in Los Angeles County and then followed those up with celebrations recognizing the students who volunteered to run the elections on various campuses. Oh, and I have twin baby girls who keep me from spending as much time at the computer, and I'm working on my MBA, and I traveled to Columbus, OH to interview with GAMA during this time. Needless to say, checking up at the Daily Illuminator was pretty low on my list of priorities at the time. It wasn't until January, when I went to read the "issues" that I had missed, that I found out about the change. At the time, I emailed SJG about my situation, and subscribed to the new PDF version of the magazine -- which costs a similar price to Dungeons and Dragons Insider -- in case you were wondering.

I sent them the following email hoping they would respond, and praying they would make a special exception:

To Whom it May Concern,



I have been a Pyramid subscriber ever since the magazine went digital (User Name: AaronBurr email was: Frenzyk2 - at - aol.com I believe is now Christian.Lindke - at - gmail.com older records might show me as Christian Johnson). I recently, this week, went to log on to the site to catch up on what I imagined would be a backlog of issues. I work for a non-profit devoted to youth civic engagement and have been swamped since mid-October which, combined with my infant twin daughters, has meant that I have been completely unaware of the changes to Pyramid.



First, let me say that the new magazine looks great. I subscribed to the pdf version today.



Second, WTF?! You offered access to the archive for a very limited time, one that coincided with the busiest time of my occupation, meaning that I have no access to years of articles that I have enjoyed reading in the past and was hoping to read in the future. I get nothing, nada, zilch and I’m pissed. I never received an email, which I did have time to check, or I would have renewed and downloaded in a hurry (your magazine is well worth one late night downloading). I don’t mind that over half the money I used to subscribe in July is wasted – I missed the opportunity to transition over to the new system at a discount, I get that. But to have no access to the archive is ridiculous.



I feel like one of those old SPI lifetime subscribers who were cheated out by TSR. I’m angry, but I can be consoled. Please make available the archive.

Christian Lindke

I admit that the email was not super polite, but I don't believe it was overly venomous either. I sent the email to Paul, Phil, Steve, Info, and Editor. I probably should have sent to Pyramid and pyramidrefunds -- all at sjgames.com.

As I wrote above, I hoped they would respond and prayed they would make a special exception. I wasn't counting on having access to the archive, just praying. I was counting on a reply. I sent the email on December 30th, and have received no reply. I have heard not a word.

I own at minimum $5-8k of their products. I even subscribed to their short lived online d20 magazine, and I get nothing.

That's bad customer service, and it makes me want to stop buying their products.

It really does. Is a reply too much to ask?

The strength of their products, and knowledge that they are a small company struggling through an economic downturn in a niche market, will probably keep me as a customer.

But right now, I am not feeling the love.

Imaginary Conversations with Agent: John Scalzi and His Agent Discuss OLD MAN'S WAR Film Deal

Way back on December 11, science fiction author extraordinaire John Scalzi jokingly wrote -- in his AMC column -- that he "actually instructed my film agent to demand I get an extra $2 million if [Paul W.S. Anderson] attached to direct a movie based on one of my books." I found the statement amusing and commented yesterday that if the Haitian from Heroes actually existed, and could remove certain films from Paul W.S. Anderson's mind, I thought he would actually be a good director for Old Man's War and it's sequels.

As an aside, I personally find it awesome that Scalzi is essentially AMC's modern SF Joe Bob Briggs. That's pretty prestigious company to be in compadre.

In the past, I've written a couple of imaginary conversations like this Elektra review or this imaginary exchange at the Los Angeles Farmer's Market. I think that they are fun, and would like to do them more often. In fact, I'm going to try -- on a semi-regular basis -- to write imaginary conversation between entertainment figures and their agents. We'll see if you find them as fun as I do.

Combining the pleasure I get from writing imaginary conversations with the sinister thoughts that entered my mind after reading Scalzi's comments about Anderson, I submit to you the following.

AN IMAGINARY CONVERSATION BETWEEN JOHN SCALZI AND HIS FILM AGENT TOM STEIN

It's a wintery day in the countryside outside Dayton, OH. JOHN SCALZI sits in the window of his writing room looking out at the snow covered landscape. A deer meanders through the landscape. JOHN SCALZI smiles and looks down at YELLOW DOG who is sleeping at his feet.

The phone rings.

JOHN SCALZI
Hello.

TOM STEIN

John! I have great news! We've optioned OLD MAN'S WAR and it has been fast tracked into production by New Line Cinema.

JOHN SCALZI

Really?! That's amazing news. What does the contract look like?

TOM STEIN

They're offering $2.175 million up front with 2% of net profit.

JOHN SCALZI

Net?! That means I'll earn 2% of nothing. Even YELLOW DOG knows that.

TOM STEIN

YELLOW DOG doesn't even know what town he's in, but that's why I counter offered with 2% of gross, script oversight, and rewrite authority. They caved...but...

JOHN SCALZI

But...what?

TOM STEIN

Well...the reason they offered the $2.175 million is that I have had to activate your Paul W.S. Anderson clause.

JOHN SCALZI

The Haitian really exists?

TOM STEIN

No, but that's why there is a $2 million in front of the $175 thousand.

JOHN SCALZI

Excellent.

TOM STEIN

Excellent?

JOHN SCALZI

Yes. Now I can fulfill every genre writer's dream?

TOM STEIN

Dream?

JOHN SCALZI

There are certain genre giants, I call them "THE GREATS," who have all shared one thing in common...

TOM STEIN

Yawn...I think I hear my other line ringing.

JOHN SCALZI

They have all owned vast tracks of land with inspiring names like Goldeneye, Tarzana Ranch, Skywalker Ranch. At last! Mwah ha ha! Heinlandia shall be built!

TOM STEIN

Heinlandia sounds too much like Scandia. I could never sell any of your IP, if you lived in Heinlandia. How about Steinland?

PATRICK NIELSEN HAYDEN

Or Hayden Place?

TOM STEIN AND JOHN SCALZI

Huh?! What are you doing on this call?

PATRICK NIELSEN HAYDEN

I am always patched into the lines of writers I edit. Helps me make sure they are hard at work and not watching deer meander through pastures when they should be writing. I could never edit a writer who lived in Heinlandia, it just sounds silly. How about naming your tract after your hard working and dedicated editor?

JOHN SCALZI

Bah! Dammit! Fine. I'll name it Valentine Ranch. If you can't figure out why, you aren't worthy to be an SF editor or my agent.