Acclaimed Fantasy and Adventure Author Now Exploring the Undiscovered Country

May 17th, at his home in Drexel, PA, Lloyd Alexander died. And while the New York Times and The Washington Post provided serviceable obituaries, a part of my soul wishes that the news made the society a little more filled with sorrow than it seems to have done. To be honest, the Washington Post article seems a little labored and clumsily written, magnifying my desire for a larger communal acknowledgement of grief. One imagines how sad the children of England and America would be if J.K. Rowling were to die years from now. I imagine that there would be many who would write eloquently regarding how the adventures of Harry Potter were the first forays into a life of literary exploration. That is what Lloyd Alexander was for me.

Alexander was my first encounter with written Fantasy as a genre of fiction. My first reading obsession was the Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing series by Judy Blume (but that is another topic). My fourth grade teacher noticed that I was reading Edith Hamilton's Mythology and recommended that I read the "Chronicles of Prydain" series. I did. I loved them. They were rooted in a mythic system, heavily influenced by the Mabinogion and Sir James George Frazer, that I had yet to encounter. At the time, I was very familiar with Greek mythology and was already a firmly committed "Sword and Sandals" fan, but I knew little of Hern the Hunter. So the adventures of an assistant pig keeper named Taran were the perfect introduction to Fantasy and set a firm foundation which helped me to understand the "deeper" and more difficult prose of T.H. White. If not for Taran, I never would have gotten to know Wart. I would also never have ventured into Narnia. The Prydain books and the Narnia books shared the same publisher.

In 1985, at a mature 14, I went to the theater to watch a film adaptation which combined elements of the first two Prydain books. The Black Cauldron was a disappointment. I liked the representation of Gurgi, who is very Pooka-esque in the film, though it was very different from the representation in the books. In fact, there was a lot different between the two. To the point that the movie seemed to be afraid to deal with the "darker" aspect of the narrative. One would expect that a film featuring the art of Tim Burton and Mike Ploog might be a little on the dark side, but the film's (and the story's), darker moments are much brighter in the film. Even with the changes, I still enjoyed the film. I still do. I just wish they had let Burton and Ploog go a little wild and had kept the directors originally slated to direct the film, John Musker and Ron Clements. Instead, Musker and Clements went on to direct The Great Mouse Detective, one of my all time favorite Disney films (not to mention The Little Mermaid and Aladdin).

I can understand those who don't have the same warm place in their hearts for Prydain that I do. When one has read a larger amount of Fantasy, the stories can appear less inventive than they did to me at the time. On of the most famous, in Fantasy circles, of Alexander's critics is Michael Moorcock. Moorcock wrote in his seminal Wizardry and Wild Romance (As an aside, Moorcock also complains of the use of Hern the Hunter as an overused legacy from Frazer. I don't know about you, but I don't know many fourth graders who have an intimate knowledge of The Golden Bough, though you should have at least passing knowledge of it by the time you read the Pratt/de Camp stories.) :

Lloyd Alexander is another American writer who has had considerable success in his books set in an invented and decidedly Celtic fantasy world, but for my taste he never quite succeeds in matching the three I have mentioned [ed. note: Ursula K Le Guin, Gillian Bradshaw, and Susan Cooper]. He uses more clichés and writes a trifle flaccidly:

The Horned King stood motionless, his arm upraised. Lightning played about his sword. The giant flamed like a burning tree. The stag horns turned to crimson streaks, the skull mask ran like molten iron. A roar of pain and rage rose from the Antlered King's throat.
With a cry, Taran flung an arm across his face. The ground rumbled and seemed to open beneath him. Then there was nothing.
The Book of Three 1964

I don't know about you, but that read pretty interestingly to me. Especially considering that this is an encounter that Taran has while searching for his lost pig. This is an epic encounter occurring on what, at first, appeared to be a very mundane task. That is what I liked about Alexander. His epic adventure begins with a seemingly mundane, and yes very stalwartly middle-class, activity. Moorcock doesn't like stories rooted in bourgeois morality, and that is his right, he finds such stories staid. But I found the prospect of a chore leading to great adventure, one where the struggle between good and evil is clear rather than shaded, great fun at my young age. I still find it fun. I think I'll curl up tonight and revisit the reason I have read so much.

Second BlogTalkRadio Show Completed With Only Minor Technical Difficulties

Last night, Wes Kobernick, Eric Lytle, Steven Merrill, and I hosted our second online BlogTalkRadio show. The episode, "Downloading the Upfronts," covered last week's network upfronts and discussed what shows we can all look forward to next fall. Our guest speaker for the show, who we hope will become a regular, was the very knowledgeable Shawna Benson of the Shouting into the Wind blog.

Shawna guided us through the 3 major network's proposed schedules in a presentation filled with good information and entertaining opinion. In fact, the conversation was so much fun that we didn't cover Fox or the CW's schedule until the "after show" which you can only hear on the show's host page. Stop by the page, have a listen to the 70 minute show, and let us know what you think.

Other than a couple of technical difficulties, primarily in the 16th minute when we were discussing the upcoming "Bionic Woman" show, the show went smoothly.

In upcoming weeks we hope to have Luke Y. Thompson, of the OC Weekly, discuss genre films and his thoughts on the summer season so far. We also hope to have Shawna return many more times to talk about her thoughts on the summer hiatus television season (which includes shows like "The Closer," "Monk," and "Psych", and on the upcoming fall season as more information comes available. Heck, I'd even give her a half an hour (without me butting in) to talk about Battlestar Galactica the television series.

That gives me an idea for an upcoming episode based entirely around BSG. Shawna could cover the show, and I could cover the upcoming Roleplaying game by Margaret Weis Productions (the manufacturers of the Serenity rpg).

Ten Years! Ten Years Man! Happy Anniversary Jody!

Ten years ago today Jody Lindke and I were married in a lovely ceremony which was followed by an equally lovely, but totally breakneck, honeymoon. Since we were friends for a couple of years before we actually started "dating," it has been a swift decade filled with adventure.

What about that breakneck honeymoon? What do you mean breakneck?

Okay, okay, I'll tell you. Those who read last year's entry can skip below the blockquote if they have a very good memory.

Jody and I planned our wedding for a year, honeymoon and all. We were to get married at Arlington Gardens, Arlington Gardens Country Garden catered the wedding, a local nursery/small shop area that has a beautiful central area. Our cake was from Josef's conditerei and our honeymoon was going to be at Disneyworld.

But then Jody decided, rightly so, that she wanted to bring her childhood pet into our household. Our apartment let us have cats, but Oreo was a lovely 14 year old and 10 pound dog. Jody missed Oreo, who had lived in Nevada City with Jody's father, and Oreo missed Jody. Oreo was a wonderful addition to our lives, she was love personified, so finding a new place to live was not a burden. It did mean finding a place that allowed dogs and in a short timeline. We found a place and the necessary number of roommates (some friends), but given the short notice our friends couldn't pay the deposit up front. They were able to pay it rapidly after moving in, but not the day (May 1) that we were moving into the new place. This meant Jody and I had to put down the deposit, and this meant no Disneyworld. We still have yet to go to Disneyworld, but that is another story and the perfect gift for a future anniversary.

Having no place to go for our honeymoon turned out to be more of a blessing that a curse. Unbeknownst to us Jody's mother and step-father had arranged for us to spend a few days in the Napa Valley and at Fort Bragg. Both places that have significant emotional importance for Jody. It was a lovely gift. Fort Bragg, BTW, is where they filmed both Overboard (with Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn) and Kindergarten Cop (with der Governator), and a lovely Northern California Costal community. The only drawback was that the arrangements Jody's mom made started on Sunday and we were married on a Saturday. What to do, what to do?

Jody immediately booked us a room at a Hotel Casino up at Lake Tahoe (not the view from our hotel room). We had a wonderful night, watched a magic show, had an exquisite meal and prepared for Napa and Fort Bragg. Family members had also given us spending money for our honeymoon, in addition to the money they gave us for our Wedding. So we planned additional days away, in fact we decided to continue our journey up the coast and to finish our honeymoon in Seattle at the Seattle International Film festival. We drove the north along the California coast and continued to Washington and Seattle. It was a wonderful, and long, drive through redwood forests.

Of course, Jody and I, being who we are we watched a ton of movies along the way in preparation for the festival. We also watched Twister and inordinate number of times. We were gone for about two weeks in total and when we were done we had not a dime to our name (we still had Wedding checks for beginning our lives, but none of those were in the bank) and prayed that the gas in the car would get us back to Reno safely. It took us many days to drive to Seattle as we meandered along seaside roads, but we made it home in a single day. Along the way we learned some interesting facts of life.

1. The rain in Washington is very hard to drive in.
2. There are apparently no 7-11s in Oregon. A lot of convenience stores, but no 7-11s. We looked frantically, longing for Slurpees, but to no avail. We might have missed them, but it was eerie.
3. You cannot pump your own gas in Oregon.
4. Twister is a great road trip movie and pretending that you are in the film while driving on the highway is fun.
5. Jody didn't really want to go to Law School, rather she wanted to make movies.
6. Jody has the uncanny ability to make me smile, inside and out. She still does.
7. Oregon rest stops serve free coffee.
8. Most importantly, you can make a wonderfully romantic honeymoon from scratch and a spontaneous honeymoon is far more romantic, in my experience, that a prepackaged vacation.

The ten year anniversary is, traditionally, the "tin or aluminum" anniversary so Jody and I got each other gifts with some tin or aluminum. I got her mugs, a framed ceramic tile, and an aluminum sign featuring the artwork she drew for our card last year.

She got me a framed (in aluminum) Twister poster. It is the most romantic thing I have ever received. If you are wondering why, it might illuminate things if I mention that we watched Twister almost everyday during our honeymoon. Looking at the poster was like reliving the entire honeymoon. Tonight, as we do every anniversary, we will watch the Bill Paxton vehicle while cuddling on the couch.

Our kids, when we have them, will wonder what our attraction to the film is, but we will be mentally back in Seattle on our honeymoon.

ABC Schedule and thoughts

Earlier this week ABC announced their upcoming fall lineup, but I was too busy to make my comments regarding the upcoming schedule. Now...at last, my time has come.

Continuing the trend of other networks, the majority of ABC's new orders are for Dramas (7), with a few Comedies (4) added for good measure. The current era of television seems to be as dominated by the Drama and Dramedy as the 90s were with the half-hour comedy. Which is one way of saying that TV networks will go with a good thing until they beat it to death and then they'll see if they can kick a couple of death throes out of it. Only then, will they move on to the next best thing. A less cynical way of saying that might be that networks go with what works.

The new television series include everything from modern man to cavemen. Yes you read that right, ABC is premiering a series based on the Geico commercials. Some of these series are: “Big Shots,” “Carpoolers,” “Cashmere Mafia,” “Cavemen,”
“Dirty Sexy Money,” “Eli Stone,” “Miss/Guided,” “Private Practice,”
“Pushing Daisies,” “Sam I Am” and “Women’s Murder Club.”

The proposed fall lineup, and my comments are below (with the new shows in italics):

MONDAY:
8:00 p.m.: “Dancing with the Stars” -- I only watch this show in spurts. I understand the appeal, heck I used to love "Circus of the Stars," but like "Circus" this is more of a one time thing for me than a weekly commitment.

9:30 p.m.: “Sam I Am” (new comedy series) -- This is Christina Applegate's new series about a person who has an accident and forgets who they are, only to discover they weren't very likable. The show's tension will rest on a "nature vs. nurture" irony, she wants to be good but isn't. (deadpan)I am laughing already. This is such a funny idea. No one ever though of a bad person trying to be good, but can't actually succeed at being good story before.(end deadpan) I will watch the show once, but I won't be very forgiving.

“Sam I Am”
When a terrible accident leaves Samantha “Sam” Newly in a coma for eight days, she wakes up with no recollection of any past experiences, memories or events. Faced with amnesia, Sam must start over. To her dismay she discovers that she wasn’t a particularly honest, good-hearted or loving person. In fact she was self-involved, narcissistic and devoid of real relationships - essentially a bitch. Sam must now struggle with her desire to be good and her temptation to be...not so good. Finding the line between good and evil is never easy.

10:00 p.m.: “The Bachelor” -- The fact that people watch this show makes me worry for the state of our civilization. "Look ma! It's women being treated like cattle by a man who they all plot in Machiavellian fashion to seduce."

TUESDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Cavemen” The commercials are funny, but somehow I think that placing this show in the suburban South will spell quick doom for this show. That and the fact that the dinosaur version of the "Honeymooners" didn't last too long either.

“Cavemen”
Cavemen is a unique buddy comedy that offers a clever twist on stereotypes and turns race relations on their head. Inspired by the popular Geico Insurance commercials, the series looks at life through the eyes of the ultimate outsiders - three modern cavemen - as they struggle to find their place in the world. Joel, his cynical best friend, Nick, and easy-going little brother, Jamie, are contemporary cavemen who live in the suburban south and simply want to be treated like ordinary thirty-something guys. Despite their attempts at assimilation, Nick doesn’t believe mainstream society will ever completely accept them, Jamie seems to take it all in stride and Joel straddles the middle, torn between his friends, his more traditional values and his loving fiancée.

8:30 p.m. “Carpoolers” -- Hopefully this show will have moments that take place outside of the car. Though that makes me wonder how that would be different from an Office Space show. I'll watch it once, but if they don't get out of the car I won't be back. I want you to remember that this show is about 4 people. That seems to be a theme.

“Carpoolers”
Less about saving the environment than male bonding, four guys from very different backgrounds relish their daily commute as they commiserate about their lives, jobs and families in the carpool lane. There’s Laird, the recently divorced playboy; Aubrey, the timid homemaker and breadwinner; the conservative and traditional Gracen; and eager newlywed Dougie. Together, between the pressures of home and work, these men find time to be themselves while driving to and from the office.

9:00 p.m. : “Dancing with the Stars the Results Show” -- See above.

10:00 p.m.: “Boston Legal” -- Glad to see the show back for another season. Shatner!

WEDNESDAY: A night completely filled with new shows? That is a potential risk.

8:00 p.m. “Pushing Daisies” -- I am intrigued by this twist on a procedural and the romantic tension possible has potential. Ideal scenario for me as viewer is if this show is a well thought out single season narrative with a final episode that resolves the season long arc.

“Pushing Daisies”
From Bryan Fuller (“Heroes”) and Barry Sonnenfeld (“Men in Black”) comes an unprecedented blend of romance, crime procedural and high-concept fantasy in a forensic fairytale about a young man with a very special gift. Once upon a time, a mild-mannered boy named Ned realized he could touch dead things and bring them back to life. Grown-up Ned puts his ability to good use, not only touching dead fruit and making it ripe with everlasting flavor, but working with an investigator to crack murder cases by asking the deceased to name their killers. But the tale gets complicated, as all tales do, when Ned brings his childhood sweetheart, Chuck, back from the dead and keeps her alive. Chuck encourages him to use his power to help others, instead of merely solving mysteries and collecting the rewards. Life would be perfect for Ned and Chuck, except for one cruel twist: If he ever touches her again, she’ll go back to being dead, this time for good.

9:00 p.m.: “Private Practice” -- "Grey's Anatomy 2?" No thanks. I stopped watching "Grey's Anatomy" when they killed the dog just to end a romantic storyline. I still like Kate Walsh, but I won't watch this show. The best "Grey's Anatomy" moment, in my opinion, was during the last season of "The OC" when Summer's father moved to Seattle.

“Private Practice”
From Shonda Rhimes, the Golden Globe-winning creator of “Grey’s Anatomy,” comes a story about new beginnings and old friends. Addison Forbes Montgomery is a renowned neonatal surgeon, respected by her friends and colleagues at Seattle Grace Hospital. Deciding she can no longer healthily co-exist with her ex-husband, McDreamy, and her ex-lover, McSteamy, Addison heads to Los Angeles for sunnier weather and happier possibilities. Reunited with her once-married, newly divorced medical school friends, Naomi and Sam, Addison joins their chic private practice. Featuring an all-star cast including Kate Walsh, Amy Brenneman, Tim Daly and Taye Diggs, “Private Practice” tells the story of a woman unafraid of change and willing to begin a new life.

10:00 p.m. “Dirty Sexy Money” -- I think it is good to see the return of the evening Soap, but this just doesn't seem to do it for me. Besides wasn't the "I'll have access to a lot of money to do good things" tension a part of 2 Week's Notice? (Minus the Soapy mysterious death etc.) This show would have to be funny to attract me. And the "Darling" clan? Please, shoot me now.

“Dirty Sexy Money”
Some people say money is the root of all evil. They may be right. Nick George’s whole life has been lived in the shadow of the Darling family, but as an adult he’s leading the perfect life as an idealistic lawyer, until his father’s suspicious death. The absurdly wealthy Darlings of New York have asked him to take over his father’s job as their personal lawyer, but the money that will allow him the freedom to be an altruistic do-gooder is only part of the picture. That same money pulls him into the dubious doings of the Darling clan. Power, privilege and family money are a volatile cocktail.

THURSDAY:
8:00 p.m.: “Ugly Betty” -- One of my favorite shows, but I hope they do like a real telenovella and let the story end at some point.

9:00 p.m. “Grey’s Anatomy” -- As I said, I stopped watching it when they killed the dog just to eliminate a romantic rivalry.

10:00 p.m. “Big Shots” -- It's "Carpoolers," but serious. By the way, what is up with the whole "4 friends" thing? Can't we have three friends? Or even five friends?

“Big Shots”
This is the story of four friends at the top of their game...until the women in their lives enter the room. Lines between boardroom and bedroom blur when these competitive but dysfunctional CEOs take refuge in their friendship, discussing business, confiding secrets, seeking advice and supporting each other through life’s surprising twists and turns.

FRIDAY:
8:00 p.m.: “MEN IN TREES” -- Don't watch it, so I have no opinion one way or the other.

9:00 p.m.: “Women’s Murder Club” -- "CSI: Vigilante" with a dash of possible romantic subplots? Okay, I'm down for that. But what is with the whole 4 friends thing again?

“Women’s Murder Club”
Based on James Patterson’s bestselling novels, The Women’s Murder Club, four working women in San Francisco - a detective, a district attorney, a medical examiner and a reporter - use their expertise and unique talents to solve murder cases. Each woman is successful in her own field, but because of their unique friendship, they realize that pooling their resources during investigations leads to undiscovered clues and answers in both work and their personal lives.

10:00 p.m.: “20/20” -- For those who have no internet or are baffled by the "tubes" that make the interwebs work.

SATURDAY: 8:00 p.m.: “Saturday Night College Football” -- Depends on who's playing.

SUNDAY:
7:00 p.m.: “America’s Funniest Home Videos” -- Watch Jimmy hit someone in the crotch! No. Don't watch this. Won't watch this.

8:00 p.m.: “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” -- I watched one season of this show. I like the premise, but don't watch it.

9:00 p.m.: “Desperate Housewives” -- I don't watch this, but I have nothing against it. I have to read books some time.

10:00 p.m.: “Brothers & Sisters” -- Sunday at 10? I might be watching "Lipstick Jungle" on NBC. I might not.


The remaining shows will be mid-season pick ups after “Dancing with the Stars” and “The Bachelor” conclude their fall seasons. I will probably watch both "Cashmere Mafia" and "Miss/Guided" at least once.

Chat with Christian and Some of the Cinerati Gang at Geekerati Radio

WHAT: Geekerati Radio discusses the Summer Blockbuster Lineup
WHERE: BlogTalkRadio
WHEN: 10PM PST May 14, 2007
WHO: Christian Johnson and Friends
WHY: Because you like us.



Hello Everyone. Tonight is the first of what I hope will become a weekly tradition. I will be hosting an online "radio show" on blogtalkradio where friends of mine and I will discuss various geek topics. The list of topics includes, but is not limited to, Movies, Video Games, Television, Comic Books, Baseball, SF/Fantasy, and Roleplaying/Board Games.

In future weeks, I hope to expand the number of contributors to include David and Julie Scott and Luke Y. Thompson. I would have invited them for the pilot episode, but this was a split second decision.

There are a lot of topics to cover, so we will try to address them one at a time. Tonight at 10PM PST my friends and I will be discussing the Summer Blockbuster season, both what has already been released (specifically Spider-Man 3) and what is yet to come.

Come and join us at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/hostpage.aspx?host_id=4843 tonight at 10PM PST.

If you want to call in and tell us we're crazy, you can call us at (646) 478-5041.

Rock, Paper, Scissors Your Way to Fame and Fortune

This last weekend in Las Vegas, 300 finalists met to do "Rock, Paper, Scissors" battle in the hopes of walking away with $50,000. May 11 - 13th marked the 2nd annual USARPS Tournament Finals in Las Vegas.

Image from USARPS.com

The league was founded 16 months ago by Matti Leshem, a 44-year-old Hollywood producer, if you consider the Executive Producer on "Pepsi: Play for a Billion" and Paula Abdul: Cardio Cheer a Hollywood producer. Though if you want to challenge Matti to a private match, it's a minimum of $100 a round. People who keep track of these things know that Phil Gordon, who is a USARPS member, hosts the World Series of Rock-Paper-Scissors each year at the World Series of Poker.

As of this writing, the results of the 2007 USARPS Tournament have not been released. Much like the World Series of Poker, any official word will have to wait until after this summer's broadcast on ESPN. Let's hope it is as exciting as last year's titanic bout where Dave "The Drill" McGill defeated his opponent in dominant fashion. (You can watch the bout at the USARPS website on the bottom of the page.)

Who knew when Bud Light ran the RPS commercial during the Super Bowl they were advertising an event they actually sponsor. Unlike in the commercial, "The Drill" won his $50,000 with a triple-paper call.



You might be able to get the results early if you subscribe to Obscure Sports Quarterly or watch ESPN 8 "The Ocho," but there isn't much chance of that.

NBC Announces Fall Line-Up

NBC's Upfronts may be at 3pm EST today, but that didn't stop Variety (among others) from reporting NBC's upcoming fall schedule. Though I was sad to see that Raines wasn't among the listed shows (I didn't really expect it to be), the list looks pretty interesting. Below is the line-up with my thoughts (new shows in italics):


MONDAY
8-9 p.m.: "Deal or No Deal" -- I know that this show gets good number, but I just don't get it. All I can do as I watch this show is chant "Choose Wisely" like the knight in Indiana Jones 3. I just can't take seriously a show that adds dramatic tension to a hidden information game where the contestants seem to be selected based on their ignorance of probability.

9-10 p.m.: "Heroes" -- This was one of my favorite new shows this year and I am glad to see it has been renewed for the fall. I also can't wait for the "fill in" show "Heroes: Origins" which will be running this while the main show is on hiatus.

10-11 p.m.: "Journeyman" --Based on the description (below) this is a combination of "Quantum Leap" and "The Unit." Not only do we get the "Sam travels through time fixing stuff" narrative, but we also get the "what's happening in his home life" as well. It sounds like an interesting enough combination for me to watch a re-envisioning of an idea I enjoyed before. The added element of the protagonist having to deal with his home life does intrigue me, so I'll be either staying up or Tivo-ing this show.

"Journeyman"-- From Emmy Award-winning writer-producer Kevin Falls ("The West Wing") and Emmy Award-winning director-producer Alex Graves ("The West Wing"), "Journeyman" is a romantic mystery-drama about Dan Vasser (Kevin McKidd, "Rome"), a San Francisco newspaper reporter and family man who inexplicably begins to travel through time and change people's lives. Along the way, he also must deal with the difficulties and strife at work and home brought on by his sudden disappearances. However, his freewheeling travels through the decades reunite him with his long-lost fiance Livia (Moon Bloodgood, "Day Break") -- which complicates his present-day life with wife Katie (Gretchen Egolf, "Martial Law") and their son. Reed Diamond ("Homicide: Life on the Street") and Charles Henry Wyson ("The Curious Case of Benjamin Button") also star. "Journeyman" is a production of 20th Century Fox Television. Falls is executive producer and writer; Graves is executive producer and director of the pilot.

TUESDAY
8-9 p.m.: "The Biggest Loser" -- Ah, lame reality programming, renewed. I'll pass.

9-10 p.m.: "Chuck" -- A new show from Josh "pop culture" Schwartz and Mc"king of high concept"G, that seems to be an interesting combination of "Jake 2.0," "The Six Million Dollar Man," and The Computer Wore Red Tennis Shoes. Based on the creative crew, "The OC" and "Supernatural" are two of my favorite shows, alone I was sold. Add a semi-SF/espionage back story and Adam Baldwin from "Firefly" and I'll give the show 8-10 episodes to prove itself to me.

From executive producer, Josh Schwartz ("The O.C.") and executive producer-director McG ("Charlie's Angels," "We Are Marshall") comes a one-hour, comedic spy thriller about Chuck Bartowski (Zachary Levi, "Less Than Perfect") - a computer geek who is catapulted into a new career as the government's most vital secret agent. When Chuck opens an e-mail subliminally encoded with government secrets, he unwittingly downloads an entire server of sensitive data into his brain. Now, the fate of the world lies in the unlikely hands of a guy who works at Buy More. Instead of fighting computer viruses, he must fight assassins and international terrorists. With the government's most precious secrets in Chuck's head, Major John Casey (Adam Baldwin, "My Bodyguard") of the NSA assumes the responsibility of protecting him. His partner is the CIA's top agent (and Chuck's first date in years) Sarah Walker (Yvonne Strzechowski, "Gone"). They'll keep him safe by trading in his pocket protector for a bulletproof vest. Also starring are Joshua Gomez ("Without a Trace") as Chuck's best buddy Morgan and Sarah Lancaster ("What About Brian?") as Chuck's ever-supportive sister Ellie. Josh Schwartz and Chris Fedak wrote "Chuck," which is produced by College Hill Pictures and Wonderland Sound and Vision in association with Warner Bros. Television.

10-11 p.m.: "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" -- Don't watch it. Not because it's bad or anything, just not enough time in the day.

WEDNESDAY
8-9 p.m.: "Deal or No Deal" -- Two days a week of bad decision making? No thanks.

9-10 p.m.: "Bionic Woman" -- My demands of remakes of my favorite childhood shows are very high. Given that this has "Battlestar Galactica" connections, I expect to be disappointed.

10-11 p.m. "Life" -- "A cop given a second chance after serving time for a crime he didn't commit?" Like the old Life cereal commercial, I'll be like Mikey. I'll try it out, but I don't expect to like it. Who knows...It might be good. It might be terrible. I'll find out what I think.

THURSDAY
8-8:30 p.m.: "My Name Is Earl" -- I don't watch it, but Fritz thinks it's very funny.

8:30-9 p.m.: "30 Rock" -- I don't watch it, but it looks very funny.

9-9:30 p.m.: "The Office" -- One of my favorite shows.

9:30-10 p.m.: "Scrubs" -- Just when you think ratings are the only consideration when renewing shows, they renew "Scrubs." Not that I'm complaining, I really like this show. I'm just saying. It's not every show that looses 2.1 million viewers from the previous hour that gets renewed. (On May 3, "The Office" had 7 million viewers, "Scrubs" had 4.9).

10-11 p.m.: "ER" -- This show will be on in twenty years. I stopped watching it when they dropped a helicopter on one of my favorite characters. That was a year or so after they had a helicopter cut the same character's arm off. It was just too much for me.

FRIDAY
8-9 p.m.: "1 vs 100"/"The Singing Bee" -- Could we get a new host for "1 vs 100"? I like the concept, but Bob Saget? As for "The Singing Bee," I might just watch this to see how many interpretations of "Blinded by the Light" I can hear.

9-10 p.m.: "Las Vegas" -- Until a show demonstrates just how dull and mechanical the behind the scenes of a casino is, I will be disappointed. As someone who was a 21/Craps dealer for a couple of years, I can't watch the "Casinos are so exciting" narratives. Puhleese. It's all about old ladies loosing their Social Security money in the hopes that the few moments of "friendship" they receive from casino staff can substitute for family who doesn't visit or call. Casinos are dull, depressing, and filled with the desperate.

10-11 p.m.: "Friday Night Lights" -- It makes more sense to me that this show be broadcast on Fridays. Well...except for the fact that a good part of their target audience are out watching the games that this show fictionalizes! Hello?

SATURDAY
8-9 p.m.: "Dateline NBC" -- Um...there's still cable news and the internet right? Pass.

9-11 p.m.: Drama Series Encores -- Space for "Raines" here if they give it a shot again. I'll go light a candle.

SUNDAY (Fall 2007)
7-8 p.m.: "Football Night in America" -- I'm a baseball and college football guy myself, but I'll probably watch this semi-regularly.

8-11 p.m.: "NBC Sunday Night Football" -- Ditto.

SUNDAY (January 2008)
7-8 p.m.: "Dateline NBC" -- The internet still here at this point of the post? Same answer.

8-9 p.m.: "Law & Order" -- Long after our society crumbles, the Eloi will still be watching this show.

9-10 p.m.: "Medium" -- Sorry, I read James Randi's website during this hour.

10-11 p.m. "Lipstick Jungle" -- Maybe, maybe not. If it is just another show about catty women sleeping around in the workplace, no. If it is a show about the genuine obstacles women face in the entertainment industry, yes. As someone with friends, and family, who hope to be in the basic circumstances of some of the characters in this show, I'm intrigued. But I still don't trust it. The fact that the show stars Brooke "nothing gets between me and my Calvin Kleins" Shields leads me to believe that the show will likely be the first. Based on the description though, I am ordering the novel today.

Based on the best-selling novel by Candace Bushnell ("Sex and the City"), this fun dramedy follows three high-powered friends as they weather the ups and downs of lives lived at the top of their game. Nico (Kim Raver, "24"), editor-in-chief of a hot fashion magazine, wants to replace her boss as CEO. Movie exec Wendy (Brooke Shields, "Suddenly Susan") finds even her most earnest efforts may not be enough to balance career and family. And free-spirited designer Victory (Lindsay Price, "Beverly Hills, 90210") longs to make her dreams come true, and maybe find Mr. Right along the way. Armed with humor and strength, these three modern New York women support one another through the triumphs and tears that are all part of making it big in the Big Apple. Written by executive producers DeAnn Heline and Eileen Heisler (both for "How I Met Your Mother," "Three Sisters") and based on the book by Bushnell, "Lipstick Jungle" is from NBC Universal Television Studio. The pilot is directed by Gary Winick ("13 Going on 30").