Pirates 2: Not Enough Swashing and Too Much Buckling

Do you remember those days of yore when exciting films of swashbuckling action played on the big screen?

No?

Me either.

When I was growing up, the best swashbuckling films had already been made and I watched them on Saturday afternoons or late Saturday night. The swashbuckling adventures that played on the big screen when I was young were terrible. They were either tongue-in-cheek affairs like Yellowbeard, awkward executions like Pirates, or miserable adaptations like The Pirate Movie. Sure there were some bright spots like Swashbuckler, but for the most part my youth was spent watching either spoofs of swashbuckling films on a larger than life medium, or watching larger than life swashbuckling films on a 24" screen.

Then as a teen and twenty-something tyke things only got worse. I had to endure the horror of Cutthroat Island, possibly the worst movie ever made. It just seemed that Hollywood had become incapable of making a serious swashbuckling film anymore. All they could make were parodies of classic films made decades before. The best swashbuckling film of my teen years was The Princess Bride, but even it (and it is a great film) took its subject matter less than seriously. After Cutthroat Island, I had lost hope that Hollywood would ever make another good traditional swashbuckling film.

Then I saw Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. Finally, the magic of swashbuckling adventure was back. Beautiful women, rope swinging, duels, pirates, and canon fire were once more a part of Hollywood and I couldn't be happier. Add to this the release of Master and Commander and I was a truly happy man.

So, like much of America, I lined up to watch the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest with high hopes. The film is the second in what is to be a trilogy of Pirates films. I entered the theater quivering with excitement and I left the movie in a state of confusion.

The latest entry in the Pirates franchise has three very interesting narratives going on within its over two-hours of storytelling and one less interesting narrative (there are additional subplots as well). The first narrative, the least explored and most interesting, is the growing power of the East India Company and their desire to acquire a superweapon with which they can control the high seas.

The second narrative is the desire of Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) to "save his soul" from Davy Jones (Bill Nighy). Jones had returned Sparrow's ship from the depths of the sea in return for Sparrow's servitude 13 years after the raising of the ship. Like the first film, Sparrow is again in risk of losing his soul to an undead captain and is, once more, at risk of becoming an undead crewmember.

The third narrative is the story of Davy Jones himself. Davy Jones is a tragic villain who once loved a woman, but due to complications ended up cutting his heart out and placing it (still beating) into a chest. As long as the heart beat within the chest, Jones would be immortal. Here's where the title of the film takes dual meaning. The "Dead Man's Chest" refers not only to the physical chest storing Jones' still beating heart, but also the empty chest within Jones' physical body where the heart should be beating. Jones' narrative has a couple of primary points. First he scours the seas in search of crewmembers to serve as undead henchmen on his crew. To do this he often unleashes the Kraken (no Clash of the Titans giggles please) to destroy ships sailing the seas. Second, he still pines for his lost love, playing the organ and listening to a heart shaped music-box. The narrative leaves open the potential of redeeming this heartbroken villain.

The less interesting fourth narrative is the romantic triangle of Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley), and Jack Sparrow. Where the first film had Sparrow flirt with Swann, the audience always knew the young lovers would be together. No longer is this the case. As the film's storylines play out, Swann discovers that she may have more in common with Sparrow than she imagines. Where Turner is forthright and virtuous, features that often require greater than normal heroics, Sparrow is self-centered and dishonest. As Swann gets deeper and deeper into the story, she begins to discover how dishonest and self-centered she is.

This Pirates film is darker and less linear than the first film. Where the first film was a roller coaster of action leading to a structural conclusion, this film divides the characters and ends with the need of resolution. In many ways, the film shares a great deal narratively with Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. The film separates the main characters, has each follow a particular story, and ends on an unresolved down note. The bad guys are winning at the end of the film, but hope remains. There was more drama, but less excitement and fun in this production.



The special effects, in particular the creature designs by Mark McCreery (Galaxy Quest and Van Helsing) are remarkable. You can see some of his design work on the crew in this clip (Jack Trades Will ) featuring Davy Jones and Will Turner. One of the key features in the film is the use of new motion capture technology. According to USA Today, "Davy Jones is cut from a very different cloth. He was created with motion-capture technology, similar to what Andy Serkis did with Gollum in The Lord of the Rings and the giant ape in King Kong and Tom Hanks as the multiple characters of The Polar Express." Nighy's performance is entirely motion capture. He performed on set in a motion capture suit, instead of makeup, and the results were impressive. I had been wary of this technology after seeing Polar Express and fearful of what the upcoming motion capture Beowulf adaptation would look like. But after seeing the Davy Jones sequences, I am now anxiously awaiting more uses of the technology.

As an additional highlight, while there is less swashing (action) than buckling (boring talking head stuff) in this film, there is still one remarkable duel featuring a water wheel. This fight really is not to be missed.



Overall, I believe the film will be worth watching only after seeing the third and final installment of the series. I left feeling lost, alone, and sad. Quite the opposite of the emotions I expected going into the film. If Gore Verbinski and crew can complete the open narratives and redeem our heroes in the third film, this may end up being viewed as the best film in the series in retrospect. If the narratives are left unresolved, the film will be viewed as a failure. One thing is for sure, the film feels unfinished and very much like the middle part of a narrative. It is a good thing that is exactly what this film is.

Now I know what it felt like to be one of those kids who watched the serials in the theater. Well with one big difference. I have to wait a year to find out what happens.

Overall, I enjoyed the film, but I wanted it to be more lighthearted and hopeful.
If you go out to see it and don't enjoy the movie, but you like the "idea" of it, you must rush out immediately and purchase Wiz Kids Games' Pirates of Davy Jones' Curse.

France in disgrace?

I am not the most avid soccer fan, in fact it is a stretch to call me such a thing. I, like most Americans, watch at the World Cup and little else. Watching the World Cup final a couple things struck me. First, the refs have the power to change the course of the game unlike what I have seen in other sports. With only 8 or 10 shots per game (with games ending 1-0 on a frequent basis) it seems that the awarding of penalty kick or removing a player from the game is a huge difference maker. The refs in American football do have some power to influence the game but more than that has be going against a team in a loss.

The second thing was the shocking headbutt by the French captain, Zindane. There was no play only a blatant personal foul as Zindane headbutted an Italian player in the chest. I do not know what was said between the two, but it doesn't matter. There really is no excuse. He took himself out of the game and hurt his team's chance to win. Beyond the immediate it is another black eye on the face of the international sport. With U.S. media doing a job on the racism that players of color endure while playing in Europe from the fans. (Being called monkey and having bananas thown at them). This, in my opinion, adds to the unruly reputation that soccer enjoys. It is sad that the big story of the World Cup is not Italy's win but that instead it is the disgraceful actions of France's best player. Sad.

F1 Driver Juan Pablo Montoya Drifting to NASCAR

Juan Pablo Montoya, currently with the Mercedes-McLaren F1 team, will be driving NASCAR for Chip Ganassi's team in 2007. Montoya is a former CART racer, and Indy 500 winner, who did a day swap with Jeff Gordon in 2003 where he had his first exposure to stock car driving.

Montoya discusses in the Yahoo! article how he understands the differences between the two sports and that he doesn't expect immediate success.

One reason for the transition from F1 to NASCAR may be the more "pass oriented" style of the NASCAR races. According to another Yahoo! article, Montoya stated:

``Anyone that watches the race, they know it is not the most exciting thing you can watch,'' Montoya said of F1. ``No disrespect. How hard is it to pass in Formula One? And if you pass and then you touch wheels, you're an animal.''

Atheletes who have migrated from open wheel racing to NASCAR have had mixed results, with Tony Stewart being one of the most successful, so we'll see if Montoya's style leads to victories. Montoya will likely race a few Busch races this year and will run both Nextel and Busch races in '07.

With rumors of Kimi Raikkonen moving over to Renault next year growing strong, Montoya's move leaves speculation at McLaren's line up next year.

The news of Montoya's leaving F1 is less surprising given his involvement in the USGP major pile up where he tried to shift blame to teammate Kimi Raikkonen.

Contestant Decides He Doesn't Want to Be a Rockstar

I enjoyed last year's Rockstar: INX show where vocalists competed for the opportunity to become INX's new lead singer. The vocalists were talented and each show had very good, and sometimes excellent, performances by the performers. The show was, for me, a more interesting version of American Idol, one that featured a band whose CD I might purchase.

This year's lineup looked equally exciting. I watched the initial performances on Wednesday and had already formed a couple of favorite performers. I liked Dilana for her charisma, and a cool rendition of a Nirvana tune. Magni had a lame performance but anyone named Magni ought to have the strength to get past the first elimination (that's Norse God humor for those of you out there, check the link). I did think that Magni ought to have played to his genre, he's Icelandic, you know "Death Metal." I wanted to hear him sing "Reign in Blood" by Slayer or something, sing from the bowels Magni...the bowels of your lungs.

Speaking of paying attention to genre, Matt was one of my favorite performers on Wednesday. He did a pretty good job with Coldplay's Yellow, pitchy at the end as Dave Navarro pointed out, but his stage presence was good. He does look twelve, but I was ready to let that pass. That is until he performed his elimination song, the song artists sing to prove they ought not be kicked out of the band. This is a song, unlike the initial performance, where the vocalists can sing whatever they want. Matt decided he didn't want to be in a rock and roll band, but in a new wave ensemble and performed a Duran Duran tune, a new one--not even a classic tune. You can view the performance at the Rockstar website, it's flash animated our I'd provide a direct link to the performance. Let's see...I'm trying to convince the former rhythm guitarist of Guns N' Roses, a former Metallica bassist, and a former Motley Crue drummer that I should be their front man and I pick...Duran Duran! Yes! But Glam, not hair metal glam but real Glam, is a precursor to Punk, New Wave, and Metal. Duran Duran is New Wave so you can rock it out you say? Okay, then Matt should have performed a T-Rex song. I have never seen anyone self destruct so swiftly.

In other news, it appears that Matt Hoffer has been offered a merchandising deal with Bad Idea Jeans.

Happy Bonza Bottler Day

Have a happy Bonza Bottler day. Just another reason to have a party.

James Wallis, Pilgrim for Charity

I frequently read Matt Forbeck's blog, maybe too frequently. One of the reasons I keep going back to his blog, in addition to any insights I might get into the "gaming" world, is that he has interesting friends who do interesting things. Case in point, Matt's most recent post is about James Wallis who has decided to go on a journey that would make Medieval Bloggers like Professor Nokes jump for joy. Wallis plans to walk all 120 miles of the Pilgrims' Way through Hampshire, Surrey, and Kent.

Mr. Wallis will be making the journey without the assistance of modern technology, including maps, because he desires to make the pilgrimage in a manner closer to that of a medieval pilgrim. You know the type, you read about them in Canterbury Tales by Chaucer. The work is one of the great works in English Literature and a great glimpse into the medieval mind. Wallis is using the trip as an opportunity to raise money for charity, something that would make the author of the Caterbury Tales proud and would make for a worthy addition to the tales themselves.

One of my favorite "discussions" in the Tales was the discussion of piety, indulgences, and what behavior best exemplified a proper "vocation."

First Amendment Rights Restored at the University of Nevada, Reno

Back in April of 2006 I read a very sad story in the Newspaper of my Undergraduate Alma Mater. The University Senate, the students the young idealistic rebels, voted on whether or not to make the entire campus a public forum or to continue limiting free speech to four "free speech" zones. Sadly, only one student voted in favor of making the entire campus a public forum. I was worried about the state of my former school, limiting free speech is a terrible idea especially on a college campus.

Luckily, when the school year ended the University administration, that's right the normally oppressive bureaucrats, reversed the policy expanding the free speech zone to cover the entire campus. The only exception to the rule is the interior of campus buildings, which still have restrictions. Really leaving speech restricted in the only place, on a campus, where such a policy can even be imagined. I can, after all, understand how protests during classes might disrupt students' ability to learn. But even granting that caveat, I hope the new policy allows a great deal of latitude even within buildings. While shouting down professors during lectures might be reasonably restricted, other forms of free expression (like arm bands, T-Shirts, etc.) seem legitimate even in a more restricted forum.