For those of you who think that William Shatner was the only Star Trek star to sing tunes, here is a clip of Leonard Nimoy singing about Bilbo Baggins in Vulcan wig and all.
The amount of geekdom in this video is immeasurable. This is like crack for gamers.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Birthday Shatnerica
Whew! I came in under the wire! As all true William Shatner fans know, today is the birthday of the third most popular imaginary friend in the world. Happy Birthday Bill!
For your viewing pleasure here are some amusing Shatner vids.
And one of the greatest weapons in the TV Cop's arsenal.
For your viewing pleasure here are some amusing Shatner vids.
And one of the greatest weapons in the TV Cop's arsenal.
Christian and Marriage
In the comments to my post regarding the Coulbert Report Dungeons and Dragons Online segment, I stated something along the lines of, "Tenser is actually a member of the Circle of Eight and not the Circle of Light so Stephen ought read that teleprompter a little more closely when pretending to have been a D&D geek." This, plus what I wrote in the actual post, prompted LYT to ask:
The answer is pretty simple, I adore my wife much like J.C. Loophole does his. But I guess that only answers how I stay married, I am after all approaching my 9th Anniversary (May 18th) for those who wonder.
The answer to how I got enough women to date me to find my perfect match, well that's a little more complicated but still easily enough done.
First, I have had a secret identity. Prior to the internetowebosphere, I had no "public" forum where women could find out my dirty little geeky secrets.
Second, I am a nice guy who has a sense of humor. I tend to make women laugh. I am no Lewis Fein when it comes to comedy, but then who is?
Third, I listen. Maybe this is the most important trait. This may have developed as a subset of my secret identity. After all, if you want to hide your comic collecting, action figure owning, roleplaying game addiction, this is much easier when you spend most of the time listening. That doesn't mean I always listen to other people, I am after all quite chatty. But I certainly spent a lot of time listening to the women I dated. It helps you find common interests and things that might make people laugh. Be attentive of other's interests.
Fourth, I actually asked women to go out. As Charlie, on Two and a Half Men keeps trying to show his brother, volume matters. Sure you will be refused dates by hundreds of women, but you will have some great dates as well.
Fifth, gradually reveal your geekdom. It lets women think they are being shown the "real you" and adds an illusion of depth. Trust me, that requires a big illusion in my case. I am open about my geekdom and hobbies now, but I have been married for almost 9 years so it's easy.
Sixth, have women friends who have similar interests. My wife isn't a gamer, but she is a talented cartoonist who liked the comic timing of Keith Giffen's Justice League when I revealed my comic fandom to her. In fact, I read these to her in bed. If John Rogers, the Kung Fu Monkey, reads this I hope he passes it along that Mr. Giffen helped provide the foundation for a healthy marriage. If he asks, we modeled ourselves after Booster and Beetle not Ice and Guy.
Seventh, my secret identity was the real me, just minus the D&D and comics. So when women were given the real me it wasn't a betrayal.
Really my advice comes down to the following. Be kind, honest, caring, and brave. If you want you can be:
* Trustworthy,
* Loyal,
* Helpful,
* Friendly,
* Courteous,
* Kind,
* Obedient,
* Cheerful,
* Thrifty,
* Brave,
* Clean,
* and Reverent.
As an aside... When I was younger, and still today, my hobbies were just that...hobbies. In High School, I only played computer games and roleplaying games in the Summer. During the year, I had Baseball, Soccer, Wrestling, and Speech/Debate to do. I was never one of the "popular" kids, but I wasn't Duckie either. I was more like Ethan Embry in Can't Hardly Wait.
No offense, CJ, but...how the hell did you ever get married?
seriously. i could use that knowledge.
The answer is pretty simple, I adore my wife much like J.C. Loophole does his. But I guess that only answers how I stay married, I am after all approaching my 9th Anniversary (May 18th) for those who wonder.
The answer to how I got enough women to date me to find my perfect match, well that's a little more complicated but still easily enough done.
First, I have had a secret identity. Prior to the internetowebosphere, I had no "public" forum where women could find out my dirty little geeky secrets.
Second, I am a nice guy who has a sense of humor. I tend to make women laugh. I am no Lewis Fein when it comes to comedy, but then who is?
Third, I listen. Maybe this is the most important trait. This may have developed as a subset of my secret identity. After all, if you want to hide your comic collecting, action figure owning, roleplaying game addiction, this is much easier when you spend most of the time listening. That doesn't mean I always listen to other people, I am after all quite chatty. But I certainly spent a lot of time listening to the women I dated. It helps you find common interests and things that might make people laugh. Be attentive of other's interests.
Fourth, I actually asked women to go out. As Charlie, on Two and a Half Men keeps trying to show his brother, volume matters. Sure you will be refused dates by hundreds of women, but you will have some great dates as well.
Fifth, gradually reveal your geekdom. It lets women think they are being shown the "real you" and adds an illusion of depth. Trust me, that requires a big illusion in my case. I am open about my geekdom and hobbies now, but I have been married for almost 9 years so it's easy.
Sixth, have women friends who have similar interests. My wife isn't a gamer, but she is a talented cartoonist who liked the comic timing of Keith Giffen's Justice League when I revealed my comic fandom to her. In fact, I read these to her in bed. If John Rogers, the Kung Fu Monkey, reads this I hope he passes it along that Mr. Giffen helped provide the foundation for a healthy marriage. If he asks, we modeled ourselves after Booster and Beetle not Ice and Guy.
Seventh, my secret identity was the real me, just minus the D&D and comics. So when women were given the real me it wasn't a betrayal.
Really my advice comes down to the following. Be kind, honest, caring, and brave. If you want you can be:
* Trustworthy,
* Loyal,
* Helpful,
* Friendly,
* Courteous,
* Kind,
* Obedient,
* Cheerful,
* Thrifty,
* Brave,
* Clean,
* and Reverent.
As an aside... When I was younger, and still today, my hobbies were just that...hobbies. In High School, I only played computer games and roleplaying games in the Summer. During the year, I had Baseball, Soccer, Wrestling, and Speech/Debate to do. I was never one of the "popular" kids, but I wasn't Duckie either. I was more like Ethan Embry in Can't Hardly Wait.
Own a Piece of Christian's Library #2
It looks like David Scott will be getting The Annotated Lovecraft. Sorry Jay, but he was first. Don't worry though, I will be sending you a copy too as (appropriately for you) an Easter gift.
Today I will be making available two offerings, though I ask that David and Julie give some other people a chance on this one. I will make it a rule that contestants can only win with lightning speed bids once per week. David's post was almost instantly after I posted the article. I figure that's unfair to our reader in Kuala Lumpur or to the myriad readers who come merely to look at the South Park Version of Me (minimum 5 hits a day).
So today's offerings are:
1.A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. This book is a published version of the journal Lewis wrote in response to the death of Joy Davidman. Someone recently gave me a copy to read, not knowing that I already have a well loved one at home, so the edition offered is "uncracked." This is the Bantam Paperback version. It's a quick read, the Lewis section is only 89 pages, and is well worth the time.
2. Triplanetary and First Lensman by E.E. "Doc" Smith. These are the first two volumes in the famous, maybe even quintessential, Lensman "Space Opera" series. Anyone who is a big Star Wars fan should read these. That goes double for anyone who is a fan of Hal Jordan as Green Lantern. The Silver Age GL tales are very much inspired by the "Men of the Lens." The first 80 pages or so of Triplanetary are a little dull because they set the background/history for the series, but once you get past this point the series gets more action packed. If you are a Savage Worlds fan, this is a setting dying to be "savaged" and Triplanetary has almost all the information you need. Triplanetary is a 75 cent Pyramid Books edition, read but well taken care of, printed in 1970. First Lensman is $2.50 Berkeley edition printed in 1982. Both have mild yellowing, but no chipping. I have recently acquired Old Earth Books editions of the series and these need to move.
Today I will be making available two offerings, though I ask that David and Julie give some other people a chance on this one. I will make it a rule that contestants can only win with lightning speed bids once per week. David's post was almost instantly after I posted the article. I figure that's unfair to our reader in Kuala Lumpur or to the myriad readers who come merely to look at the South Park Version of Me (minimum 5 hits a day).
So today's offerings are:
1.A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. This book is a published version of the journal Lewis wrote in response to the death of Joy Davidman. Someone recently gave me a copy to read, not knowing that I already have a well loved one at home, so the edition offered is "uncracked." This is the Bantam Paperback version. It's a quick read, the Lewis section is only 89 pages, and is well worth the time.
2. Triplanetary and First Lensman by E.E. "Doc" Smith. These are the first two volumes in the famous, maybe even quintessential, Lensman "Space Opera" series. Anyone who is a big Star Wars fan should read these. That goes double for anyone who is a fan of Hal Jordan as Green Lantern. The Silver Age GL tales are very much inspired by the "Men of the Lens." The first 80 pages or so of Triplanetary are a little dull because they set the background/history for the series, but once you get past this point the series gets more action packed. If you are a Savage Worlds fan, this is a setting dying to be "savaged" and Triplanetary has almost all the information you need. Triplanetary is a 75 cent Pyramid Books edition, read but well taken care of, printed in 1970. First Lensman is $2.50 Berkeley edition printed in 1982. Both have mild yellowing, but no chipping. I have recently acquired Old Earth Books editions of the series and these need to move.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Own a Piece of Christian Johnson's Library -- Free Lovecraft Book
In a Cinerati first, I am going to offer free of charge to our blog fans a piece of Christian Johnson's library. From time to time I will be offering, free of charge, to Cinerati readers -- on a first come first serve basis -- overstock from my book collection. As many of you know, I read a lot of books. Some good...some bad. But reading a lot of books also means that I accumulate a lot of books. Sure I am donating some to my local library, but I would also like to share a limited few with people who I have tangential connections to.
So without further ado, the first book to be offered on Cinerati is The Annotated Lovecraft. I have two copies of this book and one of them needs to go.
The Annotated Lovecraft is a collection of some of H.P. Lovecraft's most famous tales edited by Lovecraft scholar S.T. Joshi. The book contains useful and enlightening annotations and benefits from Joshi's love of the material. Joshi's hard work in promoting scholarly research and weird writing is something that I deepley appreciate, but his disdain for the "Cthulhu Mythos" phenomenon is one that I take issue with. To quote:
Joshi's own atheism, he has written books on the subject, seems to have made him overlook certain influences into Lovecraft's mythology. This is not to say that atheism isn't the best lens to look at Lovecraft, it is, rather that Joshi's particular atheism has made him overlook certain aspects in the fiction. Chief is the influence that Lucretius and the Epicurians had upon Lovecraft's mythos. As Bertrand Russell points out in his "Has Religion Made Useful Contributions to Civilization?," Lucretian Epicurianism is no friend to religion, but Epicurianism does have a kind of representation of the gods.
Epicurian "gods" are described as living inter mundia (in the spaces between universes) and Lovecraft and his friends often describe the "Mythos" characters as living "in the spaces between the stars." Not to mention the underlying elemental nature of Epicurian "theology" as witnessed in Lucretius' "De Rerum Natura." Derleth got his concept of the elemental nature of the "gods" from somewhere, but Derleth (like Joshi ignores the elemental connection) ignored the lesson from "Mountains of Madness" that the gods aren't really gods.
All of this is neither hear nor there for the collection, which is wonderful, or for Joshi's contribution, which is significant.
This volume includes the following stories:
Rats in the Walls -- Lovecraft's most Poe-esque piece (other than "The Stranger")
The Colour out of Space
The Dunwich Horror
At the Mountains of Madness
and his essay on Weird Fiction.
If you want it, just leave a comment and email me where to ship it. If you want to reimburse me shipping that's fine, but not necessary. I might, just might, request that you post about the book.
So without further ado, the first book to be offered on Cinerati is The Annotated Lovecraft. I have two copies of this book and one of them needs to go.
The Annotated Lovecraft is a collection of some of H.P. Lovecraft's most famous tales edited by Lovecraft scholar S.T. Joshi. The book contains useful and enlightening annotations and benefits from Joshi's love of the material. Joshi's hard work in promoting scholarly research and weird writing is something that I deepley appreciate, but his disdain for the "Cthulhu Mythos" phenomenon is one that I take issue with. To quote:
Nor need we rehash the sorry story of the "Cthulhu Mythos," which (thanks largely to Derleth's rabid enthusiasm) took on a life of its own...
Joshi's own atheism, he has written books on the subject, seems to have made him overlook certain influences into Lovecraft's mythology. This is not to say that atheism isn't the best lens to look at Lovecraft, it is, rather that Joshi's particular atheism has made him overlook certain aspects in the fiction. Chief is the influence that Lucretius and the Epicurians had upon Lovecraft's mythos. As Bertrand Russell points out in his "Has Religion Made Useful Contributions to Civilization?," Lucretian Epicurianism is no friend to religion, but Epicurianism does have a kind of representation of the gods.
Epicurian "gods" are described as living inter mundia (in the spaces between universes) and Lovecraft and his friends often describe the "Mythos" characters as living "in the spaces between the stars." Not to mention the underlying elemental nature of Epicurian "theology" as witnessed in Lucretius' "De Rerum Natura." Derleth got his concept of the elemental nature of the "gods" from somewhere, but Derleth (like Joshi ignores the elemental connection) ignored the lesson from "Mountains of Madness" that the gods aren't really gods.
All of this is neither hear nor there for the collection, which is wonderful, or for Joshi's contribution, which is significant.
This volume includes the following stories:
Rats in the Walls -- Lovecraft's most Poe-esque piece (other than "The Stranger")
The Colour out of Space
The Dunwich Horror
At the Mountains of Madness
and his essay on Weird Fiction.
If you want it, just leave a comment and email me where to ship it. If you want to reimburse me shipping that's fine, but not necessary. I might, just might, request that you post about the book.
The Coulbert Report on D&D Online
Thanks to Matt Forbeck for pointing this one out.
Now for a brief cheat sheet to some, but nowhere near all, the jokes.
GenCon is the largest gaming convention in the country.
Len Lakofka wrote two of the early Dungeons and Dragons modules Secret of Bone Hill and Assassin's Knot. These adventures were known as the Lendore Isle series because of their location on the Lendore Isles on the World of Greyhawk. Assassin's Knot was one of the modules that first introduced me to true city based gaming and was innovative for its abandonment of the traditional "dungeon crawl" motif. These modules marked the first time that modules began to simulate narratives rather than tactical wargames.
All Paladins have to be Lawful Good.
There is no "Save vs. Psionic Attack." The appropriate save would be "Save vs. Spells" or "Rods, Staves, or Spells" depending on whether he was playing Basic or Advanced Dungeons and Dragons.
[Edit: After looking through my 1st edition DMG, I must correct myself. There is indeed a save vs. "Psionic Blast" for non-psionics. The implication then is that Coulbert's Paladin was a non-psionic character. Naturally this is a testimony to his honesty, and fairness, as a player. After all if your 21st level Paladin is non-psionic you can't be a munchkin.]
The idea that a "Cure Light Wounds" spell would be used on a 21st level Paladin is itself funny.
Tenser is a powerful mage in the World of Greyhawk.
The Sheldomar Valley is on the World of Greyhawk.
Displacer Beasts, Mind Flayers, and Beholders are creatures unique to the Dungeons and Dragons game.
By Stephen's difficulty pronouncing the names and places, it is likely his writers didn't go to "Exorcism Summer Camp" or find girlfriends.
Now for a brief cheat sheet to some, but nowhere near all, the jokes.
GenCon is the largest gaming convention in the country.
Len Lakofka wrote two of the early Dungeons and Dragons modules Secret of Bone Hill and Assassin's Knot. These adventures were known as the Lendore Isle series because of their location on the Lendore Isles on the World of Greyhawk. Assassin's Knot was one of the modules that first introduced me to true city based gaming and was innovative for its abandonment of the traditional "dungeon crawl" motif. These modules marked the first time that modules began to simulate narratives rather than tactical wargames.
All Paladins have to be Lawful Good.
There is no "Save vs. Psionic Attack." The appropriate save would be "Save vs. Spells" or "Rods, Staves, or Spells" depending on whether he was playing Basic or Advanced Dungeons and Dragons.
[Edit: After looking through my 1st edition DMG, I must correct myself. There is indeed a save vs. "Psionic Blast" for non-psionics. The implication then is that Coulbert's Paladin was a non-psionic character. Naturally this is a testimony to his honesty, and fairness, as a player. After all if your 21st level Paladin is non-psionic you can't be a munchkin.]
The idea that a "Cure Light Wounds" spell would be used on a 21st level Paladin is itself funny.
Tenser is a powerful mage in the World of Greyhawk.
The Sheldomar Valley is on the World of Greyhawk.
Displacer Beasts, Mind Flayers, and Beholders are creatures unique to the Dungeons and Dragons game.
By Stephen's difficulty pronouncing the names and places, it is likely his writers didn't go to "Exorcism Summer Camp" or find girlfriends.
Lagunies: The Real Newpsies
Following in the footsteps of MTV the Bravo (an NBC Universal Company) network will be premiering its new series The Real Housewives of Orange County tonight at 10pm. The Washington Post article by Tom Shayles makes it clear that the title is meant to appeal to fans of the ABC show Desperate Housewives, but his description of show content makes it sound more like Laguna Beach. To quote a description of an episode:
That sounds more like one of the storylines on Laguna Beach than on Desperate Housewives, though to be honest most Laguna stories aren't much like The OC either. The OC focuses on people who feel "out of place" in Orange County and Laguna Beach focuses on "real" versions of the people who make Ryan, Seth, Marissa, and Summer feel out of place. In The OC the "Newpsies" (definition: McMansion Divas) are characters on the edges of the storylines who are antagonistic toward the central characters. In other words, the "newpsies" are stereotypes used to show that the central characters play against type. It looks like Real Housewives has decided to further ingrain that stereotype in our minds.
So I just have one question. Would you rather hang out with Kimberly Bryant or Julie Cooper?
For my money, I'll take Julie Cooper. Primarily because she even looks hot as an undead punk rock zombie.
Fans of "The O.C." know fully well the show's meta-cognative qualities. Summer, played by the beautiful Rachel Bilson, watches both The Valley (an evening soap like The OC and Sherman Oaks: The Real Valley. So it is only a matter of time before we hear mention of Lagunies: The Real Newpsies on the show. I am sure this will immediately be followed by Seth screaming, "Hey you guys!" when the show is on. (That's a Goonies reference, if you didn't get it.)
BTW, Rachel Bilson has been slowly but surely working her way up the charts toward actress I have the biggest crush on. Currently, Renee Zellweger is in first place, but that Summer as Wonder Woman image from Season 1 keeps coming back.
To give you an idea of the style of living: A teenage boy is given a new Mercedes-Benz as a present from his parents, but when his friends claim that the model is a "girls' Mercedes," the boy complains and is promptly given a new one, a different model. The original car goes to his 16-year-old sister.
That sounds more like one of the storylines on Laguna Beach than on Desperate Housewives, though to be honest most Laguna stories aren't much like The OC either. The OC focuses on people who feel "out of place" in Orange County and Laguna Beach focuses on "real" versions of the people who make Ryan, Seth, Marissa, and Summer feel out of place. In The OC the "Newpsies" (definition: McMansion Divas) are characters on the edges of the storylines who are antagonistic toward the central characters. In other words, the "newpsies" are stereotypes used to show that the central characters play against type. It looks like Real Housewives has decided to further ingrain that stereotype in our minds.
So I just have one question. Would you rather hang out with Kimberly Bryant or Julie Cooper?
 |  |
For my money, I'll take Julie Cooper. Primarily because she even looks hot as an undead punk rock zombie.
Fans of "The O.C." know fully well the show's meta-cognative qualities. Summer, played by the beautiful Rachel Bilson, watches both The Valley (an evening soap like The OC and Sherman Oaks: The Real Valley. So it is only a matter of time before we hear mention of Lagunies: The Real Newpsies on the show. I am sure this will immediately be followed by Seth screaming, "Hey you guys!" when the show is on. (That's a Goonies reference, if you didn't get it.)
BTW, Rachel Bilson has been slowly but surely working her way up the charts toward actress I have the biggest crush on. Currently, Renee Zellweger is in first place, but that Summer as Wonder Woman image from Season 1 keeps coming back.
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