Ordnung! Ordnung! Ordnung! You must look efficient, rooselessly and coldly efficient.

According to the Associated Press:

Germans were ordered Thursday to stay serious when having their photographs taken for new passports, wiping away any grins, smirks or smiles so that biometric scanners can pick up their facial features.

You read that correctly, Germans are prohibited from smiling in Driver's License photos to make it so security devices can correctly identify them. You may think that this is bizarre, or even restrictive. You would be wrong.

Anyone who has seen Aquirre: The Wrath of God or Schultze Gets the Blues knows that the natural emotional state of the German people is dour and humorless. Since Germans don't smile, except when they emigrate to America, the sophisticated biometric scanners would be baffled and unable to identify the features of any smiling Goths.

Oh, and don't let that silhouette with a "jump in his step" on the cover of Schultze fool you, only a German could consider that film a light-hearted, fast-paced, comedy.

Hit Me Baby One More Time...Britney Has Baby.

I feel guilty for posting this, but can we really be a pop-culture blog without mentioning that Britney Spears/Federline has given birth to a baby boy.

I wonder if Federline, in some bizarre desire to create and Oedipal monster, will make the boy watch reruns of the Britney era Mickey Mouse Club followed by Britney Videos and Crossroads and finally show the kid Kaotic just to demonstrate how much his parents love one another?

On second thought, that would just make the kid suicidal. They had better stick to Madonna's kids book.

A Professor Discusses How and Why to Blog.

Dr. Stephen Taylor at Poliblog has an excellent resource on the purpose of blogs, how to blog, how to measure blog traffic, and how to use blogs. Professor Taylor's website is the host-site for the Web-based "The Academy" community of bloggers and a Professor of Political Science at Troy University in Alabama.

His column is a cornucopia of links covering the subject and a great introduction for all of us.

One of the featured quotes in his outline is:

Mostly that, like “media,” “blogging” is not just one thing. A weblog is merely one medium for conveying information to readers. InstaPundit, Wonkette, Captains Quarters, Daily Kos, and Boing Boing all do very different things in different ways. To simply lump them all together as “blogs” borders on meaningless.

I think the distinction of "types" of blogs highlighted in the above quote is a good one, but what about a site like ours where we talk about RPGs, comic books, movies, tv shows, and the obligatory politics (not to mention forays into the athletic world)? Are we too broad? Too unfocused? To wierd?

All I know is that we have been linking to the good Professor for sometime and are still not a feature in his blogroll. In my opinion, this is because Professor Taylor, like all professors, is a tyrant and we all know that a tyrant's (thank you Xenophon and Plato) primary motivation is to "be loved and respected." Nevermind quoting Machiavelli on whether it is better to be feared or loved, Xenophon already pre-empted that argument in Heiro. It is the very nature of the tyrant to desire not merely power, but respect and love as well.

A Charity to Think About.

In times of crisis it is always a blessing to watch the charitable nature of the American people shine, and the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina is no different. People are giving to the Red Cross in droves, and it is right that they do so, but sometimes in looking at the big picture (and giving to the big charities) some in need are overlooked.

The Red Cross does great work, but the focus of their work is on helping people. Katrina affected more than people, it also affected people's pets. That is why I would ask you to give to the North Shore Animal League of America in addition to the Red Cross. A lot of animals have been displaced by Katrina and are in need of rescuing.

Cinerati's Canon -- Our Most Important Books

Professor Nokes over at Unlocked Wordhoard recently posted his experience with his students regarding their thoughts about whether a book was "literary" or not.

I remember an experience similar to the one he describes when one of my Undergraduate professors, in an American novel class, asked if the book Shane was literature or not. My knee jerk reaction was, "No way! Absolom, Absolom...yes! But Shane! No!" I have since changed my mind, having reread Shane seven or eight times, and find Shane to be the quintessential story of the West. It rightly encapsulates the central conflict in American expansion westward, as discussed by Frederick Jackson Turner in The Frontier in American History, and the book contains a darkness/realism in the title character totally lacking in the movie. In the film, Shane is Davy Crockett, but in the book he is more reminiscent of Doc Holliday, a mysterious Southern gambler/shootist.

Regardless of my thoughts at the time regarding the literary nature, or lack there of, of Shane my external reaction (and that of my classmates) was exactly that described by Professor Nokes.

To quote:

In fact, what happened was a single student took a position, and the rest dodged the question. I pressed them, and soon I came to understand that they did not believe they have a role in Canon formation.

None of us thought we had a role in Canon formation. Why? I credit it to humility more than a failure of education (Nokes' hypothesis). We hadn't been exposed to enough literature, broadly speaking, to trust our own judgements. Nor had we experience in discussing the value of a book. This second is a failure on the part of education. In high school and before, we were asked to tell what "happens" in a book to verify that we have in fact read what the teacher assigned us. We were given tests about places, people, and events. And we were given lectures about the symbolism of the Green Light in The Great Gatsby. But we were never asked whether we thought the book had value, or what was valuable about it. We weren't asked if it was "well written" with proper grammar, or played with existing conventions effectively and proficiently. I imagine the experience for the modern high school student is similar.

My comments on Professor Nokes site addressed a commentor who was critical of "Canon advocates" like Bloom. To which I responded:

I have to agree with you regarding the foundational Canon (KJV, Homer, Aristotle). I would naturally add Plato, actually The Republic is probably number one on my list of non-religious texts.

As to Frank's comments regarding Bloom (don't know if he is referring to Allan or Harold Bloom, not that it matters for his point which is poignant), I think he overestimates how much Bloom (either one) thinks the Canon is etched in stone. Allan would argue that a canon should be something that challenges young people to question the assumptions of the day rather than one that feeds them. Harold believes in an evolving Canon which is affected by the zeitgeist and continues to grow and change. Rarely are books dropped completely from the Canon, but new is added all the time.
I personally prefer Eliot's view (T.S.) that the Canon is a dialogue. The new is always in discussion with the old, either as addition to or reaction against. Some of the best poetry/art is a rejection of things past, but even rejections are improved when grounded in an understanding of the thing they reject. Thus for me the Canon is dynamic, rather than static, and additive. Some books may wane in importance for a time (Jane Austen's Persuasion or Cooper's Deerslayer), but they are a part of the dialogue.
The "literary" quality of a book matters to me, but so does the role the work played in its time or how well it represents that age.

So...what are 10 books I would demand be included in the Canon? Well, let me begin by saying that I largely think that limited lists are next to useless, especially when said lists imply an order of priority. Remember the "Top 100" lists by the American Film Institute recently? Remember how they left out half the movies you thought should be included? Me too. I think that any given list should be qualified with a "I think these are important, but that doesn't mean I think hundreds, even thousands, of others aren't." Given that caveat, here are 10 books I think everyone should read (in no particular order).

• The King James Version of the Bible -- If you want to understand the development and normalization of the written English language, let alone understand the culture, this is a must read.
• The Republic of Plato -- Philosophy begins with Socrates.
• The Complete Works of Shakespeare -- His ability to write for multiple audiences simultaneously amazes me.
• Biographia Literaria by Coleridge -- I always wondered who would write a great companion to Aristotle's Poetics.
• Aristotle's Poetics -- (speaking of which) I have rarely met a screenwriter I respected who didn't have a copy of this dog-eared.
• Hegel's Introductory Lectures on Aesthetics -- As good a beginning place for the philosophy of Hegel as any, and far more accessible.
• Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen -- I just love this book.
• Time Enough for Love by Robert Heinlein -- Because some of these books should be just for fun.
• King of Elfland's Daughter by Dunsany -- No Elfland, no Tolkien or Lewis. They both heard the horns of Elfland blow when they were younger.
• Lost in Place by Mark Salzman -- Something a little more modern and "non-genre."

What would you add to this list? Please comment.

The Shatner Speaks!

From the Canadian who read the Preamble to the Constitution better than any American I have ever heard:

“I’m overwhelmed with sadness and also very angry at the incompetence and filled with pity about the disaster in the South. Let’s react like America always has—with courage, fortitude and, especially, generosity. We have always led the world in rebuilding from ashes…let’s once again do what’s right and give of ourselves to charity.”
-William Shatner

The man is charitable , charitable, and he is the Shatner.

[Ed: Belated hat tip to David N. Scott frequent poster here and manager of the Pererro site.]

Some Affordable Aids for Your RPG Session.

This one is for all you D&D'ers or Shadowrunners out there. I would like to take a moment to feature two of the most useful RPG products I have ever used. If you don't have them you aren't giving your gaming group an optimal experience.

How many times has someone in your game gone..."No, I wasn't caught in the fireball. I was around the corner!"

For most of us this isn't too big a problem, we either play with "purely imaginative" type players who always let the DM beat them up relentlessly. Or we use the old battle-mat and markers. It's cheap and it's efficient. It does have two drawbacks though. It's messy and it ain't pretty. Well, it ain't pretty unless you are a professional hand draftsman or some such, but I'm not.

So what can a DM do to increase the visual stimulation of his players, and the veracity of any "combat rulings" without costing him/herself a bundle?

I have two solutions and you can pick between them or combine them.

And before you get all worried, no I am not referring to the Dwarven Forge stuff, which is beautiful but unless you are Bill Gates it is unaffordable for most games.

The first product is World Works Chunky Dungeons.

The Chunky Dungeons, and other World Works products, are beautiful, fun, and easy to use. Their only drawback is they take time to assemble and you have to have some minor skill at modelling. All said though, the World Works stuff is something you should have on your hard-drive.

The other product with near limitless functionality is for those of us who aren't master Photoshoppers, but want nifty looking maps and cartography (oh and battle maps too because you can print 1" scale maps for use instead of the messy battle mat). That product is Fluid Software's Dundjinni software. Dundjinni is a full-featured fantasy map creation program. It allows users to create walls and floors, place objects, insert text, and more. It boasts an intuitive interface and an impressive selection of objects and textures (over 190 images). It also allows you to author d20 adventures in a simple yet elegant way.