Friday, May 27, 2005

Zombies, Zombies Everywhere.

With the approaching release of George A. Romero's Land of the Dead on June 24th, I thought it would be a good idea to provide some reviews of Zombie themed games that I own. After all, when the creator of the Living Dead genre makes a movie, one could do worse than spend a few afternoons playing Zombie/Horror themed games in preparation. So over the next few weeks I will present reviews of Card Games, Board Games, and Role Playing Games containing an Living Dead or Horror component.

Today's game? Zombies!!! Naturally. Not to be confused with Mall of Horror by Asmodee Editions (also known as Zombies).

In 2001, US Playing Card Company (through a subsidiary named Journeyman Press) stepped into the board game/rpg market with a test game called Zombies!!!. The game was a surprising sleeper hit that quickly sold through its initial print run. I say surprising because US Playing Card Company cancelled planned expansions before the game even before it was released. In fact, the story of Zombies is kind of like the story of Firefly. The distributor of the product had less faith in it than the creators/designers of the product. Lucky for us, the game consumer, the game's creators retained the rights to the game and created Twilight Creations Inc. where they published Zombies and four expansion products (in addition to another game I will review later) of Zombified terror.

In Zombies, the players portray shotgun bearing citizens attempting to escape a city over run by zombies. Think of this game as the opening sequence to Romero's famous Dawn of the Dead and you get the general idea. The purpose of the game is to be the first person in the city to get to the Helipad and thus escape the city to drink Mai Tai's on a Carribean Island free of the infestation. Sounds like a simple idea and it is, but the game has some interesting elements.

Rather than a traditional "track game," like Candyland or Monopoly, Zombies is what is called a "Tile Based" game. What this essentially means is that at the begining of the game there is little or no "map" on the table and that the map comes into existance as the game is played. This innovation means that everytime you play the game, you are likely to be playing on a different "map" than during previous gaming session. Add to this tile laying element, the fact that the Helipad is the last tile to be laid on the board (meaning players have no idea during the early stages of the game where the Helipad will end up during the last tile laying phase), and you have a game with a two fold objective. First, survive long enough to find out where the Helipad will end up. Second, be the first to the Helipad.

Player's aren't helpless in their battle against the mindless hordes of the undead, and can fight them to collect "kills" and thus work toward the other path to victory. I guess I didn't mention that the other way to win is to kill 25 zombies. But combating the undead is a difficult thing. Each fight is essentially a fifty-fifty shot and you can only fail three times before you are "killed." When you are killed you have to re-start the game with no equipment and half the "zombie tokens" you had before your demise.

This is a fun, furious, and mindless game and has received a slightly better than average rating at boardgame geek (having been reviewed by over 1000 reviewers), which I think is fair. But I enjoy the game because it is easy to teach, easy to play, and more fun when you drool and go UnnnH, Brains! while grabbing at your friends. I rate the game as 3 out of five, but think this is a great "beer and pretzels" game.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Flash! Ah ah! Savior of the Universe!



In 1934 Alex Raymond forever changed the "comic world" when he created a new comic strip character to compete with the extremely popular Buck Rogers comic strip. Flash Gordon offered all the excitement of the typical Buck Rogers adventure, but with two significant improvements. First, Raymond's art was far superior to that of the Rogers title and was better able to transate the excitement of "cliffhanging adventure." Second, the Flash Gordon universe was more fantastic that scientific. Buck Rogers as a title has always demanded a modicum of scientific plausibility, but Flash Gordon has never had such limitations. Flash was truly the adventures of the mind.

Not surprisingly Raymond's influence has extended into modern movies as well. A Gordon comic fan cannot help but see honest homage to Raymond's creation when he watches the Star Wars films. Both contain "moving planets" (Mongo vs. the Death Star), evil emperors (Ming vs. Palpatine), princesses (Aura vs. Leia), anthropomorphic animistic friends (Thun the Lion Man vs. Chewbacca the Wookie), roguish allies (Prince Barin vs. Han Solo. The list of comparisons above is far from exhaustive and is not meant to detract from Star Wars in any way. Star Wars easily deserves its place beside Raymond's creation, but the influence of Flash Gordon on a young Lucas is almost undeniable. One of the reasons for the enduring legacy of Raymond's creation was his attitude toward the medium itself:

I decided honestly that comic art is an art form in itself. It reflects the life and times more accurately and actually is more artistic than magazine illustration -- since it is entirely creative. An illustrator works with camera and models; a comic artist begins with a white sheet of paper and dreams up his own business -- he is playwright, director, editor, and artist at once.


It was with great excitement that I entered the comic shop yesterday, because the Third Volume in a series of collected editions by Checker Book Publishing was released this week. This particular volume features strips running from October 25, 1936 to June 5, 1938 and includes four exciting story arcs. Checker Books have planned two more volumes in the series and I eagerly await those as well.

Rather than bore you with specifics, I think I will let the art speak for itself today.





Monday, May 16, 2005

Monday, April 25, 2005

Jiang Hu Hustle

I have been a fan of Kung Fu films since I was a child in the late 70s and early 80s. For Baby Boomers and early Gen-Xers this time period brings to mind Disco and bad baseball uniforms, but for me (a middle Gen-Xer) and others like me it means Kung Fu Action Theater on USA network and GI Joe. I remember basking in the glow of cathode ray tube illumination and watching fantastic and bizarre tales filled with martial artists who live tragic, yet wonderfully exciting, lives.

The one drawback to films like Five Deadly Venoms, Five Fingers of Death, Fists of the White Lotus, and The Master Killer was that the production quality of the films never lived up to how they inspired my imagination. I loved these movies as a child, but as I grew older I wanted more. I wanted Kung Fu movies that were not merely inspirational, but also visceral. In the late 80s and early 90s, almost as if in answer to a prayer, came the films of Jet Li and Jackie Chan. The martial arts in Li and Chan films was fast, furious, and exciting. Gone were the New Zealand accents and in were subtitles. There still was little, if any, production sound and some of their films were cheaply made or just plain bad (like Jet Li’s Last Hero in China, but many were magnificent. Jackie Chan’s high production value films like Drunken Master 2 set a new standard for these films, and Jet Li introduced me to a wonderful new genre that combined fantasy and martial arts. After watching Swordsman II it is hard to go back to regular martial arts films. Jet Li had taken me from the world of Kung Fu into the magical realm represented in the genre known as wuxia (woo-shah) meaning “martial chivalry.” These Chinese Fantasy films combined the complex narratives of good fantasy stories (think Lord of the Rings complexity) with amazing martial arts. In wuxia the first lesson or real Kung Fu is flying. Flying is what separates the common warrior from the virtous hero or vicious villain. For the true masters of the martial arts gravity is but an illusion, “sword energy” can extend hundreds of yards beyond the arc of a weapon with lethal precision, and no one can hide from their destiny.

Recent years have seen the release of some amazing wuxia films. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Hero, and House of Flying Daggers have all transfixed American audiences with the power and beauty of their narratives. The lives of the people who often want nothing more than to leave the world of jiang hu (literally rivers and lakes), or the “world of martial arts,” only to have their lives end tragically because they fail to understand that you can never leave jiang hu. As Zhang Yimou stated in an LA Weekly interview with David Chute, “There is nothing I can do, I live in jiang hu.” The implication being that life in jiang hu is hopeless and eventually the life will catch up with you.

So what does all this discussion of jiang hu and wuxia have to do with Stephen Chow’s recent release Kung Fu Hustle? Isn’t Kung Fu Hustle a martial arts comedy like Jackie Chan’s films? Doesn’t the hero win and save the day? Good questions and the answers are: everything, yes/no, and yes. Kung Fu Hustle is indeed a martial arts comedy, but it incorporates many of the conventions of the wuxia genre and in particular urbanizes jiang hu. The film is a combination of Half a Loaf of Kung Fu, Johnny Dangerously, and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. At the beginning of the film the villainous Axe Gang is taking over the entire Shanghai underworld. The only place safe from their nefarious activities is a dilapidated and collapsing apartment house called “The Pig Sty.” But the Pig Sty is only safe until our wandering and reluctant hero Sing (Stephen Chow), who has long abandoned attempts at heroics, arrives pretending to be a member of the Axe Gang in order to take advantage of the local merchants. Needless to say, heroes avoiding their destiny make for poor imitation villains and Sings attempts at easy money lead to an escalated conflict between the forces of Good and Evil.

It soon becomes clear that Pig Sty is the home to a number of martial arts masters who have sought to leave jiang hu behind them. Pig Sty is home to no fewer than five martial arts masters who wanted nothing more than to live simple lives. When Sing’s impersonation draws the attention of the real Axe Gang, three of the masters must reveal themselves to save the local populace. These men choose duty over self-preservation and quickly dispatch the Axe Gang who flee the prowess of these great heroes. But this is just the beginning of the conflict. No member of the Axe Gang lives in the world of jiang hu and thus their leader must hire expert assassins who do. The story continues from there with “fated couples,” “musical instrument energy,” “lion roars,” “toad styles,” and “palms of Buddha” in abundance. There is almost no martial arts convention left behind in this masterfully sculpted combination. In most wuxia stories the heroes must choose between duty and passion. In Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Hero they choose duty and are destroyed because of it. In House of Flying Daggers the heroes choose passion and are destroyed. Stephen Chow’s new film is something I thought I would never see. Kung Fu Hustle is a happy tale about jiang hu, where some heroes perish and the greatest hero can succeed so long as he embraces his destiny. In this case a destiny where duty and passion are in balance.

Friday, January 21, 2005

ELEKTRA IS THE BEST SUPERHERO FILM OF 2005!

Celluloid Say-So by Christian Johnson

(The author forgot to include that Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa Snow Falling on Cedars, Mortal Combat, one of the author's favorite actors, is also in the film. He plays the leader of the "Hand." Tagawa is sadly underused, almost enough to remove the bonus Terrence Stamp half point bump.)



Of course, it is also the worst superhero film of 2005. It is the only superhero film of 2005 so far, but I have always loved the film commercials that make outrageous claims like the one above. Now that is out of the way, how is Elektra as a movie? Is it entertaining? Is it a work of art? Is it literature? What follows will be a mock "chat room" dialogue between me and a fictitious character called MillerFan. For those of you who aren't huge comic geeks Frank Miller is often considered the canonical writer of Daredevil/Elektra stories. So who better to discuss this movie with than MillerFan


Number One: Hey MillerFan it is great to see you back for chatting action here at Marvel Movies Masticated! Have you seen the new Elektra film yet?

MillerFan: Yes. I refuse to talk about it. It was even worse than Daredevil.

Number One: What a minute there buddy, are you refering to Daredevil the theatrical release or the Director's Cut DVD?

MillerFan: DVD, no one in their right mind can even imagine the theatrical release without having the "fear put into them" to quote Bullseye and going blind. But without a radar sense.

Number One: Now you know according to Yahoo! Movies Critics rated it a C- and "fans" a B-.

MillerFan: Fans my @$$!

Number One: Hey there, this isn't a Marvel Max title, we need to watch our language. Well MillerFan, it looks like we have some lurkers who have PM'd me to get a synopsis of the film before we continue.

MillerFan: Whatever. I'll read DK2 while you do that.

Number One: Marvel's latest film Elektra sees Jennifer Garner reprise the role she played in last year's box office success Daredevil. Elektra Natchios is a child combat protege who has entered into the career of "assassiness" since being resurrected after her death in Daredevil..

MillerFan: according to the dumb movie. She has always been an assassin...She was her father's fricken assassin. It's what she does.

Number One: If you will refrain from interrupting me please. She has been resurrected by Stick (Terence Stamp) who believes her heart is pure and who seeks to teach her an ancient martial art which incorporates "time manipulation." The martial art is also said to allow its users to bring back the dead. We enter the story with Elektra having been "cast out" by Stick as a potential savior of mankind, and with the hint that there is a new protege or "treasure" who can save us all from the evil that is the Hand!

MillerFan: I don't even see how you can describe the movie as you just did. I don't remember any of that.

Number One: Well...the background is integrated throughout the film through flashbacks.

MillerFan: How do you know this is a sequel and not a prequel?

Number One: Elektra's father is dead, which happened in Daredevil and she is "resurrected" while wearing the same costume she wore in Daredevil when Bullseye killed her.

MillerFan: Okay, okay, I and everyone else here are getting bored. Give us your opinion. Who cares what Yahoo! thinks.

Number One: This beautifully shot film isn't without its problems. The movie opens strong with a suprise guest appearance by the wonderful Jason Isaacs (Chumscrubber, Peter Pan, The Patriot) as the victim awaiting assasination by Elektra. From there, the narrative is a little sketchy, but still fun. Colin Cunningham (most notably of Stargate SG-1 one of my favorite bit characters actually)plays Elektra's agent, the overly eyelinered, but morally forthright McCabe. Okay, he's as morally forthright as an assasin's agent can be, but I liked him in this. Goran Visnijic (the doctor on ER everyone has a crush on, including me) plays the father of the new "treasure" Abby (played by Kristen Prout).

MillerFan: Enough! Tell them the names of these two!

Number One: Okay, okay. Visnijic is "Frank Miller" and Kristen is "Abby Miller." It's called an Easter Egg.

MillerFan: It's called fricken blasphemy!

Number One: Whatever. The heroes of the film have worthy opponents who walk around as if they were in a Tarantino film.



Number One: Will Yun Lee (who was, and this pains me to say, actually pretty cool in Torque) plays "Kirigi" the future of the hand. Lee's portrayal of Kirigi is excellent, from time to time I actually felt I was looking at an Anime character. He was truly iconic as a villain. The writing of his character is pretty weak, but his acting and overall coolness factor are, well, cool.

Kirigi's gang is comprised of four "abominations," each with their own superpower. Stone (Bob Sapp of the upcoming remake of The Longest Yard) is near invulerable. Tattoo (Chris Ackerman)

MillerFan: Who should get Marvel sued by DC.

Number One: No one reads Green Lantern MillerFan, besides I am sure there are plenty of legends of living tattoo guys. Take for example the SciFi channel commercial where the guy buys groceries so he can have dinner with his tattoos.



Anyway...Tattoo can cause his tattoos to become "animated" and attack/spy on his foes.

Kinkou (Edson Ribeiro) has to power to get killed real easy.

Miller Fan: And come back to life right?

Number One: I thought you had seen this. No, just the power to be easily removed.

Then there's Typhoid.

Miller Fan: Typhoid Mary, you mean!

Number One: No I mean Typhoid, no psychosis here. Typhoid (Natassia Malthe, Disturbing Behavior, Lake Placid) is a past treasure turned evil, who has the power to "infect" people and kill them with disease. Oh, she also has the power to create the hottest scene in the film.



I am sure the Typhoid/Elektra kiss has inspired untold numbers of explicit Flash animation films and slash fiction stories.

MillerFan: (Typhoid...mmmm....)

Number One: As you can see by the pictures of Tattoo and the Typhoid/Elektra kiss, the film is often beautifully shot. The action scenes are well choreographed. I was really impressed with the choreography involving Kristen Prout. Either they intigrated her double flawlessly, or she paid more attention than Ben Affleck during the training sessions. Somewhere in this movie is a good action film, but the scenes...while pretty...often dragged. Not the action scenes, those moved rapidly, but the dialogue scenes. The film seemed to be directed so that every actor took one beat too many before delivering their lines. Anyway, I would rate the film a B- just like all the "fans" except it has Terrence Stamp in it and that adds half a grade. Elektra is a 2.9 on a 4 point scale -.1 so that you don't think it is a solid b-film.

MillerFan: BS man, they should watch scriptwriting masterpieces like Robocop 2

Number One: Sure...Okay...I rest my case. Should you see this film? I say so, just don't expect to much.








Thursday, January 06, 2005

No More Games of Global Conquest

I was reading through the Designer's Notes of a new card game being produced by Atlas Games entitled Gloom. In the designer notes, Keith Baker writes,

"I made Gloom because I wanted a game that my wife Ellen and I could play together. Ellen has one problem:she's too nice. Many great games -- Lunch Money, Nuclear War, Family Business, and most CCGs (collectible card games), to name just a few -- are based on the simple principle of kicking your opponents around the block until you're the last one standing. Ellen doesn't do well with these kinds of games, because she just doesn't enjoy pimp slapping a friend. So the question was how we could have a game that suited my desire for direct competition and her dislike of hurting her friends."


My wife and I experience a similar problem. Every weekend my wife and I play a board/card game with one another. We both love games, and I own an overabundance of them, so these are usually wonderful times. We also invite company over once a month for a similar affair, but with more participants and usually topped with a film of some sort. I learned early in my relationship with Jody that beating her, or losing to her, at Risk was not one of the joys of life. Essentially, when it becomes clear that one person is the winner Jody wants to stop playing. Why? Is she a poor loser/winner? No. It is simply because any continuation of the game once victory is clear seems abusive to her. When all you control is Western Australia, is there any reason to continue playing Risk except the total destruction of your opponent? At least that is how she feels.

I have pointed out to her that in many of these games sometimes things appear to be lost when there is still a chance to win. This is usually because, unlike chess, most of these games have a random element. But this is not enough to have her enjoy the game. She is competative, but not mean and she expects the same from her opponents. Thus games of Diplomacy are out of the question. These same sentiments don't arise in games where the theme isn't the killing of your opponent, even if the mechanic is the same. Make a wargame where you kill your opponent's piece before it reaches its "hideout" and Jody will frown when she kills the last of your men (even though a new one will spawn behind enemy lines), but change the name to Sorry and have it send you home and the feelings are lessened. To be fair though, we played Sorry this weekend and Jody, who loves the game, concluded "this game is really mean isn't it?"

So a good deal of my time is spent finding games which avoid one player killing the other, or their armies, as the central component. Even though I love a good wargame. So far I have introduced Jody, and friends to the following wonderful games, Ticket to Ride (amazing), Gold Digger (quick and fun), Colossal Arena (fun but the edge of Jody's tolerance for battle), Scene It! (various editions), Sherlock Holmes (A rare and beautiful card game), 221B Baker St. (a wonderful Holmes based boardgame), and Reiner Knizia's Lord of the Rings (the best cooperative game around). All of which have received rave reviews from wife and friends.

Needless to say, my love of gaming keeps me on the lookout for new and exciting games. So when I saw a game described in the following manner:


In the Gloom card game, you assume control of the fate of an eccentric family of misfits and misanthropes. The goal of the game is sad, but simple: you want your characters to suffer the greatest tragedies possible before passing on to the well-deserved respite of death. You'll play horrible mishaps like Pursued by Poodles or Mocked by Midgets on your own characters to lower their Self-Worth scores, while trying to cheer your opponents' characters with marriages and other happy occasions that pile on positive points. The player with the lowest total Family Value wins.



The person with the most miserable family wins, and the tragedies are all humorous in nature. What more could I ask for? Nothing. So Jody and I will be playing this game in the near future for certain. I will keep you posted as to its entertainment value. For the time being, let me give you a small list of the games we have yet to play, but intend to play soon.

  1. Pirate's Cove
  2. Doom: The Boardgame
  3. Kingmaker
  4. A Game of Thrones
  5. Warcraft: the Board Game
  6. Betrayal at House on the Hill
  7. Heroscape
  8. Battleball
  9. Cribbage
  10. Backgammon
  11. Runebound




Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Gamers Giving Gifts to Needy

As a gamer (computer, role-playing, board/card games) I am constantly frustrated with the coverage of the effects of my various recreational hobbies. In the 80s, I was told by Tipper Gore, Pat Robertson, and Jack Chick (of Chick Tracts fame) that playing Dungeons and Dragons, or any roleplaying game, was devil worship. I can watch Mike Myers tell an audience not to applaud the fact that he played D&D during an episode of Inside the Actor's Studio. Lothar of the hill people was based on a character he played.

Continuing from the late 80s are Psychological study after psychological study linking playing violent video games to
violent behavior.
Thankfully the research is honest enough to mention that the relationship is correlative and not causal, not that the media notices that. Needless to say, playing games as a hobby is something that has a substantial social stigma, not always, but often enough to be annoying.

This is why events like the Child's Play program run by Penny-Arcade are so important. This year over $300,000 dollars was raised to give toys to needy children's hospitals. Gamers need more publicity like this. Of course, they will only get publicity like this if they do activities like this. Do you value your gaming hobby? Let Sean Fannon and crew at GAMA know and help them find ways to promote gamers as positive contributors to society, rather than as members of the Trenchcoat brigade.