New Title Card

I will, over the course of the next few weeks/months, be monkeying around with the blog Title card. The current image will be a part of whatever the end result is, but I will likely add a few more 'toons to the sides.

Just for Fritz..."Our Star...Blazers!!!!"

According to ICV2, who are reporting a Hollywood Reporter story, Josh Kline has been tapped to produce a live action version of Star Blazers. The Scotsman verifies the information, but also gives me enough information to cause me to worry. A quick search of IMDBPro (the more robust version of IMDB) revealed no results for Josh C Kline, who is, according to the Scotsman, "the the longtime rights holder of 'Star Blazers.'

Kind of reminds me of a certain film by Courtney Solomon that came out six or so years ago.

SciFi Original Movies and Haters

Last Saturday, the Kung Fu Monkey John Rogers of The Core and Blue Beetle fame wrote a brief review of the SciFi original movie MAMMOTH. His thoughts were that, basically, MAMMOTH was the type of film that SciFi original films ought to be, namely fun homages to the films of William Castle etc. His commenters, and there have only been a few, have been from essentially two camps. There were those who think that SciFi Network should never make the low budget SciFi Original movies, but should stick to series like Battlestar Galactica and Stargate. Then there were those, like Bill Cunningham of DISContent who pointed out that the SciFi originals get higher ratings than the regular series. Bill has a funny, but smart alecky, sense of humor and likes to refer to shows that have multiple "branches" by ironic titles. My favorites are CSI: Silverlake and Stargate: Cleveland. Bill, by the way, writes direct to DVD movies.

Which brings me to my thoughts on the SciFi original films versus their television series.

As an aside, prior to reading the Uberhaters website, I had mistakenly assumed that these features were primarily for television consumption. I have since discovered that most of these films are released simultaneously (or within close proximity) on DVD and that the DVD versions usually have decent added features and aren't edited for content.

When I started watching the SciFi channel, in the early 90s, it was because they were running reruns of The Six Million Dollar Man and Buck Rogers. A part of me still wishes they would run these series, but in the years since I have come to enjoy many of their television shows as well (Stargate chief among those enjoyments). There shows have been hit or miss for me though and it would be dishonest for me to say that I think all their series programming has been good. I have pretty much hated all of their "reality" based programs, Ghost Hunters schmost hunters, Scare Tactics schmare tactics. Yawn.

My wife and I are also among the small minority of SciFi fans who don't like the new Battlestar Galactica. My reasons are different from my wife's, I still can't narratively understand why the humans ever went back to an integrated defense system when their chief, and narratively only, enemy can easily take such things over. There is more to my complaint, but it stems from the fact that I think the show is all surface and no depth. It is too post-modern. I know people enjoy it, and I am always happy that there is a growth in the number of SciFi fans (yes that's a big Wanker sign to Harlan Ellison) in the marketplace. But like with Star Trek it's "only the original for me."

Back to the movies though. The SciFi original movies have created a wonderful thing, a marketplace for creative genre fiction on a modest budget. Sometimes that means films that are along the lines of drive-in films of the 50s and 60s, like the film MAMMOTH that John Rogers enjoyed (or Alien Apocalypse with Bruce Campbell or as I like to call it "Battlefield Earth, but fun"). Sometimes it means a Terminator redux with a post-apocalyptic future, or a low budget version of the Forever War. Sometimes it means fantasy, like the recent SciFi original Dungeons and Dragons 2: Wrath of the Dragon God Movie, which I thought was a significant improvement over the theatrical released, or the recent made for SciFi adaptation of the Nibelungenlied, Dark Kingdom. Like Roger Corman, SciFi is becoming a work-mill where genre fiction has a place to meet its audience. No one will argue that Death Race 2000 is an artistic masterpiece, but I love it and I think it is well written. Which brings me to a point. When the budget is low, as it is in all the SciFi originals (at least compared to "Hollywood" movies), it is solely the writing that makes or breaks the film. (Hmm..kind of like original Star Trek.)

I like that SciFi does its original films. I was delighted to read that they are profitable. I find some of them unbearably bad, but I find many of them entertaining and fun. Why pay $20.00 (I have a wife) to see Final Destination 4: Because Death Always Forgets to Kill Someone in the Prior Film when I can buy (or watch then buy) Dark Kingdom for the same price and see how Diane Duane and others have adapted one of the great legends of Europe?

I guess you can tell that I like the SciFi original movies, but that comes from me being a pretentiously non-pretentious genre fan. I would write more, but I have to go watch "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra." I know it isn't a SciFi original, but it is genius.

"I'm a scientist...I don't believe in anything! Ha, ha, ha!"

"I sleep now."

Today is Armenian Genocide Remembrance Day

This last weekend I noticed a lot of cars in my neighborhood displaying the Armenian flag. Living in Glendale, I didn't have to think long to determine why so many of my fellow citizens were proudly displaying their patriotic loyalty to Armenia. Today is the 90th Anniversary of the Armenian Genocide.

There is a lot I could write, but I will instead quote Teddy Roosevelt:

The Armenian horror is an accomplished fact. Its occurrence was largely due to the policy of pacifism this nation has followed for the last four years. The presence of our missionaries, and our failure to go to war, did not prevent the Turks from massacring between half a million and a million Armenians, Syrians, Greeks and Jews — the overwhelmingly majority being Armenians. Our declaration of war now will certainly not do one one-hundredth part of the damage already done by our failure to go to war in the past; and it will enable us to render service of permanent value for the future, and incidentally to take another step in regaining our self-respect.

This is not meant to be some hidden message about my opinions regarding current events, rather it is an affirmation of my strong opposition to genocide and my belief that military intervention in such cases is justified.

Ptolus and Young Urban Player Characters

So, I think I finally found the answer to one of my great pet peeves with D&D 3.0 and beyond. If you look through the books there is a general emphasis on urban (yes, urban) game play and, even in 3.5 (which was better about this) a disappointing lack of rules for GMing a game in THE OUTDOORS (gasp!).

Apparently this may have something to do with the fact that the setting (if you can call it that) that they used to play test in was a giant freakin’ CITY!

Yup, a great big piece of urban sprawl. Because you know Middle Ages Europe was just crawling with big ass cities. And all those great epic works of fantasy that take place in cities. Let’s see – There’s Thieve’s World and, uh, I can’t think of anymore.

But it isn’t like you wanted to play a FANTASY game that involved, say, roaming the forest or hunting down dragons in faraway lands, or wandering around on your super cool horse looking for fair princesses (or princes) to rescue? You didn’t actually want to leave the giant urban sprawl of a capital city did you? Of course not. That’s silly. Who ever heard of a FANTASY game that involved THE OUTDOORS.

Now be a good gamer and cough up $119.99 for Uncle Monte.

Comic Books --- The Wall Street Journal Gets It

Cinerati has often discussed, and lamented, the state of the comic book industry. Comics just don't sell at the rate they used to in prior "ages." Combine this with the fact that the target audience has shifted from the developing fan to the committed fan, a combination partly responsible for the decline in sales (not entirely, don't get me started on Jim Shooter and speculators in the early 90s).

Though Marvel and DC have done little to expand their audience to the emerging fan in recent years, if you think they have done a lot we ought to meet for coffee some time, one thing is certain, both Marvel and Time Warner (DC Comics) understand the need to increase revenue from the comic book marketplace. Even as a loss leader the production costs are becoming extremely high. When you combine huge printing costs, due to higher quality paper/printing techniques and smaller print runs, with increased pay to artists/writers you have to find ways to increase revenue flow without increasing prices. After all, the marketplace is too small for much of an uptick in cover price. In the link above, I discussed Marvel's plan to release digital back issues both online and in DVD-Rom is one way to address this. If you don't own 40 years of the X-men, 44 Years of the Fantastic Four, or the upcoming 40 Years of the Avengers, you are missing a great opportunity to read quality comics at a cheap price.

Now Marvel and DC are looking to a new avenue for revenue, actually an old avenue in a new medium. Comics have long had advertisements which often interupt the flow of the narrative/panel design. Now, according to the Wall Street Journal both companies are looking to product placement within the panels to increase revenue. (I would link the article, but you have to be a subscriber.) According to Brian Steinberg, "Las week, DaimlerChrysler AG's Dodge finalized an ad pact that will include product placements in Marvel comics." Combine this Daimler buy with Time Warner's recent contract with General Motors Corp, and the creation of "Rush City," and you have high priced ads which might become fluid parts of the narrative. The idea is similar to what Gaijin Studios did with "The Ride" two years back, with the addition that the cars are modern, rather than classic.

The ad buys are an direct example that comic books are finally admitting who their audience is, "one of Madison Avenue's most elusive audiences: guys in their 20s." As the Steinberg article points out, and we have said many times, "Lately, readers of comic books have gotten older. On Madison Avenue, 'there is a large misunderstanding of who is reading these titles and what they are paying attention to...' fans who kept buying the books have grown older, now reaching into their 20s and 30s." I actually think that even this estimate projects the comic audience too young. I would state that the audience is more in the late 20s to the early 40s, but that still constitutes real buying power. DC Advertising VP David McKillips "hopes to bring in other advertisers seeking an older male. 'You're going to see this year a lot more health and beauty care, shaving cream, razors, alongside the automotive."

Comics are finally realizing who their audience is, too bad that doesn't mean they want to expand the audience from its current niche place in the market. On the plus side, this does mean I will see fewer house ads in the issues I buy. If you saw, "In Good Company" with Dennis Quaid and its conversations about global corporation "synergy," and the film's argument that this is not a desireable revenue source, then you can appreciate my joy at reading that there would be more shaving cream ads and thus possibly fewer ads for movies/video games based on the IP of the company whose comics I am buying.

I hope that the companies will do more to expand the audience. Until that time comes, it is good to see that they are finally trying to bring in revenue from the advertisers who have products that might appeal to the comic reading audience. In television, the equation works from a revenue standpoing. TV studios ask, "Hey, what show will sell X to demographic Y." Comics have been denying who their demographic is for sometime. Comics grew up, but the revenue sources didn't. I wish that comics had been able to grow up while keeping some titles filled with the youthful joy that made me buy comics in the first place.

If you want to read the whole article, and are a WSJ subscriber, you can read the article here.

Palladium Books Facing BK

Palladium Books is one of the biggest independent RPG companies around, and one of the oldest. I've always respected them because they're basically a one-man show: Kevin Seimbeda has lovingly nurtured his world of RIFTS for over fifteen years, and his company for over 20!

As much as I love the phenomenal support offered by WOTC for DND 3.5 and Modern, the fact is that there's something special about Palladium: they're the little publisher that could.

Anyway, check this out here, and read Sembeida's personal appeal. I think a $50 minimum may be a bit ambitious for some, so maybe we should try to collaborate?

Hopefully we can help keep a good company from going under!

Flash Gordon -- Planet of Peril

On January 7, 1934 Alex Raymond forever changed the "comic world" when he created a new comic strip character to compete with the extremely popular Buck Rogers comic strip. Flash Gordon offered all the excitement of the typical Buck Rogers adventure, but with two significant improvements. Raymond's art was far superior to that of the Rogers title and was better able to transate the excitement of "cliffhanging adventure." Second, the Flash Gordon universe was more fantastic that scientific.

Buck Rogers as a title has always demanded a modicum of scientific plausibility. The adventures of Buck Rogers (the comic strip) told of a future America where World War had changed governmental structures and a future China had come to rule the world.
Flash Gordon has never had limitations restricting it to the plausible. Flash was truly the adventures of the mind. Buck Rogers is a character who one could imagine Isaac Asimov writing a story about in adventures filled with political struggles as well as physical. If one were to imagine any classic science fiction author drafting tales of Flash Gordon, the first name to leap to the tongue would have to be Edgar Rice Burroughs. The adventures are too fantastic, too scientifically implausible, to wild, and too swashbuckling for any other author. Flash Gordon shares as much with modern tales of Fantasy as he does with science fiction.

Flash, Dale, and Zarkov inhabit a universe where there are self propelling planets, swordfights, and magic powers and, not surprisingly, Raymond's influence has extended into modern movies as well. A Gordon comic fan cannot help but see honest homage to Raymond's creation when he watches the Star Wars films. Both contain the aforementioned "moving planets" (Mongo vs. the Death Star), evil emperors (Ming vs. Palpatine), and magic powers (the Force and Ming's Magic). Both also contain princesses (Aura vs. Leia), anthropomorphic animistic friends (Thun the Lion Man vs. Chewbacca the Wookie), and roguish allies (Prince Barin vs. Han Solo). The list of comparisons above is far from exhaustive and is not meant to detract from Star Wars in any way. Star Wars easily deserves its place beside Raymond's creation, but the influence of Flash Gordon on a young Lucas is almost undeniable. One of the reasons for the enduring legacy of Raymond's creation was his attitude toward the medium itself:

I decided honestly that comic art is an art form in itself. It reflects the life and times more accurately and actually is more artistic than magazine illustration -- since it is entirely creative. An illustrator works with camera and models; a comic artist begins with a white sheet of paper and dreams up his own business -- he is playwright, director, editor, and artist at once.

It is wonderful that Checker Book Publishing is releasing the strips in a series of collected editions . So far there are five volumes in the series.

As you can see be the illustrations below the artistic quality is higher than one would expect from a 1930s newspaper strip. I think the art speaks for itself today and deserves a place in art history as well as in the history of popular culture.

Flash Gordon quickly leapt from the newspaper page and onto the big screen. In 1936, Alex Raymond's eponymous Polo player/Savior of the Planet Flash Gordon, played by the charismatic Buster Crabbe, first entered the sparkler powered rocket to the planet Mongo. Once there Flash would face numerous dangers and begin his battles against the evil emperor Ming, battles which would last for many years.


Thanks to You Tube, you can watch the first episode "Planet of Peril." Two warnings. First, the file is big so if you want to watch it, you had better have a high speed connection. Second, if you like it, rather than hunting down all the episodes as streaming video, do yourself (and the IP owners) a favor and buy the Space Soldiers DVD box set. I know, why buy when you can download? Well...you might just prompt someone to make a quality film that is a true adaptation of the material. We Flash Gordon fans are in dire need of a good adaptation, I can only watch Sam Jones so many times. Though I can sing the Queen song all day...Flash! Ahhhhhhhh!

Inter-Web-O-Net-O-Sphere Woes

While there are times that I love the interwebonetosphere, there are times when the massive collection of ones and zeroes really gets on my nerves. Take right now for instance. My professional email provider, the one I use for work and official stuff, is experiencing some kind of major meltdown making it all but impossible for me to communicate with anyone for work. Let me tell you, it is more than a little lame to tell someone that you will be emailing them with your IMJayGatz or SwinginTrojan email address. Sure IMJayGatz isn't too bad, if they've read the book, but unless they know you well enough to know that you are a baseball and USC fanatic the SwinginTrojan email might raise some eyebrows.

So... for those of you out there who I work with let me say the following. The reason I am not responding to your very important, and in need of immediate response, email isn't that I am avoiding you or hate you. Though both of those statements might be true depending on who you are. Rather it is because it takes 50 minutes for me to get any email that happens to be in my inbox. If you were diverted into my Spam folder, fahgetaboutit! That has been "hidden" to realocate resources so that email works at all. Bah!

Add to that Blogger will have a scheduled outage at 4pm PST and you can see my frustrations.

Some people ask me why I still have my AOL account, that I've had for over a decade. Well...they have NEVER given me this kind of problem. Of course neither has gmail, but since I am on a couple of media/political newslists on that address the likelihood of me reading your email there approaches zero.

Double Bah!

I Can't Believe I Missed This!

Every year Hasbro has updated their D&D website on April 1st to reflect some April Fool's Day joke. Since it was on a Saturday this year, and I was busy with my wife and friends partying in the streets of Glendale, I never visited the Hasbro site. Figures that this year would be the best April Fool's Day joke ever, at least for humor if not effectiveness.

They announced the release of the most exciting roleplaying game ever!!!

That's right...My Little Pony the Rpg!!! I can't wait for the Massively Multiplayer Online version.



Now, I have only to create a Savage Worlds version of the rules for my own campaign.

Brisco County Jr. Coming to DVD this July

On July 18th, Warner Home Video will release the Complete Brisco County Jr. television series.

From the box:

The world's favorite western/sci-fi/comedy/action cult hit rides again! Here on 8 discs is the complete series about Brisco (Bruce Campbell), a tough-as-rawhide cowpoke, debonair ladies' man and Harvard-educated smarty-britches who roams from Frisco to Jalisco in pursuit of outlaws who killed his father...and in search of a mysterious orb possessing out-of-this world powers. Hot lead and cool anachronisms await Brisco as he and his sidekicks - including Comet, the intellectual equine who doesn't know he's a horse - fight for justice in the way, way, way-out West. Put your boots in your stirrups, your tongue in your cheek and join the fun. Let's play cowboys and aliens.

Brisco was a show released in the early 90s and was one of the first shows which captured the "leftover" stew tastes of the Generation X audience. The invasiveness of popular culture, and genre combination, in the conversation/culture of Generation X gave rise to many shows that combined anachronistic retellings of old pop-culture. Shows like Hercules, Xena, and even more recently Firefly have displayed this distinctive formula. Take an established genre, in this case the Western cowboy show, add humor, metacognitivity (self-awareness), and tropes from other genres to create a show to satisfy an audience that loves popular culture old and new. Brisco was a show made in heaven for those who grew up watching The Lone Ranger, Star Trek, and Batman on UHF.

Hurry up and pre-order the show.

While you are at it, you might want to watch American Gothic while you are waiting. Sean Cassidy's supernatural drama was ahead of its time.

A Rarity in the World...An Original Meme

The interweb-o-net-o-sphere being what it is, it is filled with multiple "memes." Most of them are bland, what are your favorite book/favorite movie type affairs and not so much a viral idea that spreads across the world from one mind to another. I should know, I have attempted to ask such things of our LARGE body of readers (yes, that was sarcasm) in an attempt to measure my ability to infect the minds of the world. This is, naturally, step one of my plan to rule the world.

But questionaire type memes aside, I can think of a couple of events on the interweb-o-net-o-sphere that live up to Professor Dawkin's idea:

1) The Dancing Baby that appeared on Ally McBeal.

2) South Park. Come On! You remember the X-mas special on the internet.

3) The spread of Dungeons and Dragons when it was an obscure box set.

Actually, I can think of a lot more, but most of them aren't of the "chain letter" sort. Though chain letters are in and of themselves a kind of meme.

Needless to say, while reading the blog of an employee of Green Ronin Publications (a wonderful gaming company) I came across the following "blog post meme." By blog post meme, I mean an idea that should be included as a post on each and every blog out there. What is this blog post meme? The Birthday Meme. Thanks to Nikchick for the introduction to the idea.

Go to Wikipedia and look up your birth day (excluding the year). List three events, three births, three deaths, and up to three observances or holidays on your birthday in your journal.

I know it's not my birthday today, but you can figure out what my birthday is by the following:

Events
1877 - Crazy Horse and his warriors fight their last battle with the United States Cavalry (Montana).
1815 - War of 1812: In the Battle of New Orleans Andrew Jackson leads American forces in victory over the British.
2006 - A magnitude 6.9 earthquake epicentered just off the Greek island of Kythira hits much of the country and is felt throughout the entire eastern Mediterranean Sea.

Births
1824 - Wilkie Collins, British novelist (d. 1889)
1935 - Elvis Presley, American singer and guitarist (d. 1977)
1944 - Terry Brooks American writer

Deaths
1324 - Marco Polo, Italian explorer (b. 1254)
1825 - Eli Whitney, American inventor (b. 1765)
1642 - Galileo Galilei, Italian astronomer and physicist (b. 1564)
(Since I included Galileo's death, I ought mention it is 1942 - Stephen Hawking, English physicist and author's birthday as well).

Observances
Commonwealth Day is celebrated in Northern Mariana Islands.

Where are the UMDs?

That's right everyone- it's your favorite Uncle J.C. Loophole guesting again here at the phenom known as Cinerati. No - not the "dirty old man" Uncle, but the "fun" Uncle who loves to bring Tootsie Pops when he comes for a visit. As you know Wolf Flywheel and I usually sit at the helm of the USS Shelf 1, and recently we have been reviewing and talking about Easter themed films and animated specials. In going through my DVD for the review, I came across my UMD copy of Spider-Man 2. I took it out for a brief spin and remembered how unique and enjoyable it was to watch the movie on the go.

UMD- what is a UMD? I'm sure the regulars know- but for the benefit of anyone who is unawares- UMD stands for Universal Media Discs. If you own a PSP, you know all about those UMDs. In fact, you may have received Spider-Man 2 in your PSP package if you purchased it when it debuted in March of 2005. The UMDs are use for game content, as well as for movies and music. I have actually purchased several in the past when they were affordable. I actually like the portability and the PSP actually packs a good movie experience with the headphones on.
So what's all the fuss about the UMD? Well, it seems as if several studios, such as Warner Brothers and Paramount, are either scaling back their UMD releases or ending them altogether. PC Magazine reports:

"Disappointing sales have slowed the flow of movies on the proprietary Universal Media Disc to a mere trickle. At least two major studios have completely stopped releasing movies on UMD, while others are either toying with the idea or drastically cutting back.
And retailers also are cutting the amount of shelf space they've been devoting to UMD movies, amid talk that Wal-Mart is about to dump the category entirely."

Disappointing sales? Yeah, I'd say so. Just asking several local retailers gives the picture that not only do the things sit and rot on the shelf, but they can't push the PSP as the all-in-one media device that Sony intended it to be. Most people view it as a just a portable gaming device. Even among gamers and local gaming stores, where PSPs are purchased with more frequency, the disc that gets slapped on the counter with it is a game. I myself have several games- and the PSP is a great portable gaming console. I also think it is sold short as the all-in-one media device; the movies and music - and the fact that it also features memory stick that can store said media- and the fact that it can store digit pictures and browse the web make it an attractive gadget. So what has happened?

Further in the report, one of the studio's Home Entertain president states flatly that no one is watching movies on the PSP- "It's a game player, period." That's the attitude of most retailers and industry watchers -but I don't believe that is the real reason. The real reason perhaps lies within the device itself. Remember when I mentioned the memory stick? Well, a lot of people are using software to copy movies from their PC to the memory stick and then watching the movie on the go on their PSP. Think about it- UMDs are generally more expensive than a DVD. In fact it was cheaper to buy the fully loaded Hellboy special edition than it was to buy the UMD version. Couple that with the fact that it would be possible to copy the film to a Memory stick & that the UMD has smaller disc space (which means little or no extra features) -makes choosing the DVD over the UMD a no-brainer. The problem for the studios and retailers is that no one is purchasing the product, but that doesn't translate to "No one is watching movies on the PSP." The real problem revolves around 4 things- 1. Price 2. Accessibility and 3. Variety 4. Image

1.Price: I think I pretty well illustrated the problem of price in the Hellboy example. To further complicate things, it is a new format- and new formats are always more expensive before they hit market saturation and expansion.

2. Accessibility: The UMD movie can only be watched on a PSP. It is a narrow market product. DVD's spent a couple of years building up market base before DVD players became as cheap or cheaper than VCRs- but DVDs also are playable on home PCs and portable DVD players. Who knows? In time and given market base UMD slots might have appeared on DVD players or on your media card section of your PC. It seems rather unlikely, but it appears that Sony is exploring their options in an effort to revive the format. Next-gen application seems to be on the way to allow for UMD playback on televisions. Is it a little too late? If studios are scaling back or eliminating their new release UMDs- will they bring them back if the TV playback feature becomes reality? It will be depend on market saturation and the consumer's willingness to adapt to the format independently of the PSP. Time will tell. With the studios getting set for the HD-DVD and Blu-Ray format war coming soon- it will be an interesting turn of events.

3. Variety: If you looked at the movies available for UMD- the list looks like its geared toward the 18-35 yr old male demographic. It is intentional skewed that way, because that was key demographic that the PSP was advertised to and the main demographic that owns them . Therefore lots of action, horror, comedy and some anime. Few (OK as far as I can tell, none) classics, romantic movies, older animation, etc, etc, etc. The major studios jumped on the bandwagon like ants at a picnic- because this was the demographic that raked it in for them, or so they thought. But realistically, when you've plunked down around $200 for the PSP and another $40-50 for at least one game, what 18-35 year old male or female has the cash flow to shell out $20 to $30 for a bare bones movie disc, that some already have purchased on DVD. The lack of variety plus the fact that the studios did too much, too soon is a devastating blow to the format.

4. Here is another problem. Sony intended the device to be a media onestop- but when it released it in the US, it was pushed as a portable gaming console that could also play movies. It was a way for Sony to enter into the handheld gaming market, of which they seek to own a sizable chunk, with the flexibility to option into other areas later. It's a great handheld gaming device and the games that have been released have pushed the envelope for handheld gaming. Sony has failed to transition and expand the image of the PSP as a "portable media entertainment" device. Even in Japan, Sony's HQ and the most likely place for the transition to be more accepted by consumers, the PSP is falling behind the more popular Nintendo DS and DS Lite. Besides- here in the United States the iPod is the dominant force in portable music and video content, and it seems unlikely that the PSP will be able to overtake them anytime soon.

So, is this the end of the UMD? Who knows? We all can recall tech relics of the past, the 5" Floppy disc, the Beta tape, and even more recently the 3.5" Floppy; but the fact is that some formats that find a niche die hard, until support for it dies or something equitable comes along. Laser Disc anyone? I hate to see any innovation fail, but I suppose that if we can build upon failures it will not be in vain. Either way, I'm not quite ready to sound the death knell for the UMD, and it seems that Sony is trying everything it can to save the format in some way. I have enjoyed watch movies on the device and I suspect that PSP owners in general have found other ways to enjoy movies on their own. And you can bet that if the retailers start marking down the UMD movies, that I'll be there to snatch some up. And I have enjoyed the PSP as a music player and web browser. I like it and will continue to use it.

However I think that the future of media and entertain lies no longer in the confines of formats. While we may see the format war between Blu-Ray and HD-DVD play out soon, I believe I am with George Lucas is thinking that the true future in media entertainment lies in the server and media storage. We are really too tied into our physical objects. It's not necessarily a bad thing. Believe me, I'd much rather sit and read a book in it's physical form than try and read on online or on my Pocket PC. But at the same time, it makes it difficult for us to accept all-in-one devices or anything else that seems to do so many things. Heck, I still don't like a TV with a built in DVD player because my mind thinks, "If one or the other break, what will I do with the one that works?" Well, use it I guess or get it fixed- or buy another. My brain has been conditioned and hardwired in such a way that the idea of streamlining etc. is a quagmire rife with difficulty.

It shouldn't be that way. Signs already indicate that we are heading to a home that will have centralized servers that will download everything from movies to specials at the grocery store to the latest sports results, and all in one box. Can anyone guess what this is called? Why yes, Timmy- you are right. The internet. The future is here, folks. And things like TiVO, iPods, Blackberrys, etc demonstrate that the road lies more in how much we can push and get out of our devices and not necessarily how much we can get out of our chips, discs, cards, and cartridges. While there is still uncertainty - will the system crash, will I loose everything I've downloaded, I still want to backup stuff in case I buy a new device- future technology can provide answers and solutions if the marketplace is allowed the freedom to push the envelope. Besides, haven't we all wished we could be like the Jetsons when we were kids?

Thanks to Christian and crew here at Cinerati for allowing me to be a guest blogger. I have vacuumed the floor, put away my trash, and have not eaten all the chips and Easter candy. The Dr. Pepper is another story, but put it on my tab. As always come visit us over at The Shelf. Until next time, have a great weekend!

The views expressed by J.C. Loophole in this post are not necessarily those of the management. In fact, he probably didn't even run them by the management ahead of time, therefore resulting in a 90% probability that he will receive a tongue lashing later. After which he leave work early, stating he has a "cold", and will go by the store, pick up more Dr. Pepper and Peeps and drown his sorrows while watching a season set of "South Park" until he feels better. He will then work the sugar rush off during the weekend and end up getting into work late on Monday morning, thereby starting the whole process over again. We apologize in advance for any distress that this may cause, but let us be honest: we've all been there. So, go get your own Easter candy.

Terrence Malick Has Become William Castle

I never would have predicted it, but apparently Terrence Malick has morphed into a modern day William Castle. Yes, Virginia, there still is showmanship in filmmaking. It appears that Terrence Malick's most recent film, The New World will be shown in Smellovision at a Japanese theater displaying the epic.

Had someone told me that the director of Badlands, Days of Heaven, and A Thin Red Line, who happens to be a former philosophy professor at MIT by the way, would have a film "enhanced" by a scent producing process, I would have told them that it sounds like a John Waters movie. Oh, and before you start yelling, "But Mike Todd invented Smell-o-vision," I can read, I just think that William Castle embodies the showman/filmmaker character. Check out the list of gimmicks he used in movies at his Wikipedia entry, or ask my friend Jay if you have any questions about Castle.

BTW, the effect in his version of Thirteen Ghosts is nothing short of genius. If you watch the film with the ghost revealing glasses, and then once without them, you are watching two very different films. In the first version, the ghosts are real and in the second they aren't, yet the film still works. Good Stuff.

Apparently, according to the blurb that is the article, the idea of using Smell-o-vision is that of the theater and not Malick...too bad, it was nice to dream that some director still valued showmanship surrounding their creations.

On a side note, before you think that the idea of people with advanced degrees in philosophy making cheesy genre films is unlikely, don't forget Wes Craven.

Movie Games for Cinefiles

People like to play games and have interesting conversations. Combine this with the number of people who love to watch movies, it is natural that people would make conversation games about the film industry. When it comes to "movie conversation games" the giant on the mountain is 7 Degrees of Kevin Bacon, but my wife (Bacon number 3) and I (Bacon number 3) aren't very good at the game. Actually it's surprising given how many movies we've seen, but we aren't very good at the Degrees of Kevin Bacon game.

In case you were wondering...my wife was an extra (and director's assistant) on Chumscrubber which has a large number of Bacon Number 2 stars, and she was also an extra in Sister Act with more Bacon Number 2's. I was an intern on Joy Ride with Steve Zahn (Bacon Number 2).

My wife and I prefer to play a game called "The Life of ____." In this game we treat an actor's career as if it were a single lifetime. For example, after learning how to travel through time and learning history Keanu Reeves becomes depressed after his "princess babe" dies he dates a terminally ill Cherlize Theron. Due to her rejection he studies the occult, attempts suicide, goes to hell, comes back and fights evil as John Constantine. The point of the game is to fill in the gaps of how the "avatar" went from one role to another, but as if they were the same person. This can become difficult when an actor, say John Wayne, plays characters who lived in different time periods.

So my wife and I borrowed a note from the Wold Newton Universe idea, a creaton of Philip Jose Farmer, and pretend that the later characters are decendants of the original. The Wold Newton Universe is a fictional universe where Farmer postulates that famous characters from fiction are related to one another as decendants. On of the best uses of this concept was in his book Tarzan Alive which included a fictional geneology for Tarzan, the book was a "fictional biography" that was written as if Tarzan had really lived.

So in our modified game the John Wayne of She Wore a Yellow Ribbon is the ancestor of him in Green Berets. It's even more interesting when you discover wonderful things like that Merlin is the ancestor of Sherlock Holmes and Little John, or that Henry VII is the decendant of Quint the ship captain and Custer.

I'm still trying to figure out if Neo is the decendant of Ted Theodore Logan or him later in life. The whole time travel question adds new dimensions to the game.

80stalgia

Often when I am sick, in bed, at home I flip the channels and pass an 80s classic film. The moment my fingers have found Pretty in Pink or The Breakfast Club, I become overwhelmed with 80stalgia. I become sad wondering where all the people I knew in High School are today.

It is surprising to me how few I kept in touch with as the years passed. And what is even more odd, is that my lack of contact has nothing to do with a lack of desire. I am just too lazy to correspond as much as I ought.

Oh, and before you think that I am like Robert E. Howard, or his creation, and filled with "gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth" due to some crisis or state of adulthood, I have always been this way. I was nostagic for lost friends when I was in high school, and when I was in college. I moved a lot and communicated insufficiently. Most of the time, I am free of any kind of nostalgia, but those darn 80s movies get me every time.

Is Dungeons and Dragons Online Really Dungeons and Dragons?

Last month Dungeons and Dragons Online (DDO) went live for the game playing public. It seems odd that a Dungeons and Dragons based massive multiplayer online roleplaying game would take so long to come into existence. D&D was the first roleplaying game and I was one of many who hoped that it would also be one of the first game IPs (intellectual properties) to navigate the unexplored waters of the interwebonetosphere.

The Massively Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Game is one step closer to a fantasy every roleplayer has had from time to time, total immersion, and D&D's founders and players have speculated about such games for a long time. Total immersion speculation, and fiction, are as old as roleplaying itself. Shortly after the original D&D came out Andre Norton wrote the novel Quag Keep where D&D players find themselves inserted into the World of Greyhawk (a D&D game world). Joel Rosenberg wrote a series of fantasy novels where players are transported into a fantasy roleplaying environment with his Guardians of the Flame Series. Science fiction authors Larry Niven and Steven Barnes combined the joy of roleplaying games with Michael Crichton's Westworld in Dream Park, a kind of rpg Disneyland.

Combining roleplaying and player immersion has had a lively life in fiction, but it has also been becoming a reality with the creation of Massively Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Games. In these games, the players are able to actually see the world they are interacting with (rather than merely imagining as with table-top rpgs) and are able to design the appearance of their own avatar. Even the world's worst artist can have a great looking character thanks to skilled graphics programmers. MMORPGs make the mechanics of play largely transparent to the player which has the effect of minimizing, but not eliminating, metagaming. Metagaming is when players think of game effects in terms of mechanics rather than narrative. In a table-top session, metagaming can (but doesn't always) detract from the illusion many players attempt to create when playing rpgs. In other words, baring the invention of the holodeck (or interdimensional accidents like that in the D&D cartoon) MMORPGs are the closest thing to total immersion in existence today.

MMORPGs, in one form or another, have been in existance since around 1978, but those were text based affairs that didn't in anyway capture the modern gaming experience. Actually, saying they existed in 1978 is like comparing Hack to Baldur's Gate, but the early text based MUD's were multiplayer gaming experiments. The first modern total immersion style MMORPG was Meridian 59 in 1996. My own personal first experience was Ultima Online (1997), followed by Everquest (1999), Asheron's Call (1999), City of Heroes (2004), and World of Warcraft (late 2004, though I started in 2005). I just recently started playing Dungeons and Dragons Online.

Given that the first modern MMORPG was created in 1996, and that most MMORPGs are based on D&D style "generic" (as opposed to genera)fantasy worlds, what took the owners of the Dungeons and Dragons IP so long in entering the marketplace?

I can think of quite a few reasons actually.

First, in 1996 TSR --the company who created Dungeons and Dragons-- had ceased to make games of any sort and were on the verge of extinction. The company had tried to emulate the success of trading card games with its own collectible dice game. They over invested in that game while simultaneously branching into new areas in its tried and true RPG line. They overpublished Dragon Dice, and they overpublished new game worlds in 1995. The company was in the process of being purchased by another entity, Wizards of the Coast, and had little to no room to think about expanding into new markets.

Second, the "standard" computer RPGs for the D&D game were highly successful and set a very high standard of playability. If a D&D MMORPG were to come out, it would be instantly compared to the existing games based on the Baldur's Gate engine.

Third, as soon as Wizards purchased TSR they began planning for a new edition of the D&D game with new rules and character design innovations based on the past 20+ years of roleplaying "playtesting." If the D&D MMORPG wanted to emulate the experience, it would have to reflect these changes. Most players of a D&D MMORPG would want it to "feel" D&D and not like some random other MMORPG.

Fourth, the separation of player and Dungeon Master in the traditional rpg gaming format. Bioware's re-designed Neverwinter Nights was a genuine attempt to create computer based roleplaying where a dungeon master could design the adventures and the players could play them. It was, and is, an extraordinary game and for many makes the idea of an MMORPG unnecessary.

Fifth, game world. Which of D&D's many game worlds would be used in the creation of an MMORPG? Greyhawk? The Forgotten Realms? Mystara? Dark Sun? D&D has a lot of worlds and each has its own very devoted fans. Choose one world and you might lose potential clients who are fans of the others.

Sixth, the expectations for a game based on the original roleplaying game were huge. Whoever was to create the game would have to be willing to be under electron-microscope-like scrutiny. No matter what was made there would be detractors.

So...how did Turbine Entertainment do with their version of Dungeons and Dragons Online? For me, they did an almost perfect job. They captured the feel of D&D's newest game world, Eberron, combined it with a Player vs. Environment world which requires "adventuring parties" (groups of players) and doesn't require a large commitment of time to play.

Dungeons and Dragons Online, is just right for the casual MMORPG gamer like me. If you want to play your MMORPG and still have time to play pen and paper D&D on the weekends, it is certainly the game for you. The game, with minor exceptions, utilizes the mechanics of the Dungeons and Dragons game and integrates them into the MMORPG format with remarkable ease.

Which leads to my criticisms, or rather to the criticisms because none of these issues affect me as a player (well except one).

As the game currently stands a devoted player can finish all the dungeons and max out their character level in a relatively short time. Not me, I'm still Level 3 (rank 2), but the typical 1337 player who often plays MMORPGs won't be very satisfied and will quickly return to World of Warcraft. I see this as a good thing. I had "leet" power "doods" and prefer those who are there to have a good time.

The game is Player vs. Environment and lacks a Player vs. Player element. Many people enjoy PvP interaction in their massive multiplayer rpgs. They want to beat up on other people, defeating computer "bots" isn't sufficient for them. These gamers need MMORPGs to simulate the most dangerous game, killing real people. I tend not to like PvP players, finding that they are mean spirited and what they really want to do is be bullies to less experienced players. Traditionally, at least as Gygax and others present the game, the D&D game is players vs. environment with the DM as judge/narrator. Sometimes people viewed it as DM vs. Player, but that is short sighted and leads to unsatisfying gaming. Some players want "inter-party strife" and backstab for treasures etc. That tends to create short lived campaigns. Heroes battling evil, or villains conquering worlds, makes for good long term narrative and thus promotes campaign play. PvP elements tend to detract, in my opinion, from the overall enjoyment of an rpg. The day DDO goes PvP will be the day I unsubcribe.

The game doesn't perfectly reflect the rules of D&D. In DDO, there are spell points, 30 hit point first level characters, multiple ranks per level, and "free real-time" movement. If you want 5-foot steps and low hit points, this is not the game for you. The addition of multiple ranks per level comes with two key changes from the table top game. First, players essentially get one additional feat (ability) per rank (rather than once every 4 levels). Second, the current "10" level limit is in actuality closer to a 40 level limit in some respects. I understand that the emulation of D&D within the structure of a MMORPG requires some modification and these changes seem natural to me.

There is a great deal to praise about the Dungeons and Dragons Online MMORPG.

Graphically, it is beautiful. I love exploring new areas just to see what they look like. Turbine's game is more demanding in its hardware requirements than World of Warcraft, for good and for ill. By requiring more power, they were able to make the world look richer, but they also narrowed their audience to people with newer (meaning in the 21st century) computers.

The music and sound effects are great. My favorite adaptation/innovation is the incorporation of an omnicient DM voice when you enter some areas of dungeons. I was pleasantly surprised when I was informed that my ability to "Listen" revealed the sound of air passing beneath a wall. The DM voice narrates and describes dungeon environments and provides clues to players based on the skills they have selected. What this means is that the gaming experience is altered by your skill choices, cool innovation.

But when it comes to why I will continue playing DDO rather than other MMORPGs it's really very simple. When I sit down and play for a mere two-hours, I can accomplish an adventure and meet new people. In fact, I am required to interact with others. Recluses can have a heyday on World of Warcraft, but they would have a rough time on DDO. My only hope is that I start to find more people who want to play DDO in character.

If you are one of them Soulfinder Symbol is waiting to help you in your quest to fight the forces of the Dragon Below.

DVDs, The Future, and Kong

Bill Cunningham of DISContent works in the Direct to DVD industry and sees the future of the entertainment industry in the models being developed due to DVD sales. That is to say that he understands that there has been a sea change in the sources of filmmaking profits. The majority of profit, and revenue, comes from DVD sales. Bill, as he mentioned in his piece on Netflix, understands that DVD sales (like any other medium for entertainment delivery) are not the "future" of the film industry, they are the "now." The future will lie in an even more demand driven model. Whether that model will be On Demand, or another, remains to be seen. One thing is certain, the industry had better remain flexible. For the most part it has, but there are some dinosaurs who see projected celluloid (or digital images) as the only medium there is to watch movies.

Let's face it, I love going to the theater to catch movies on the big screen. I even believe that many movies are best seen in that environment. But I also believe that the best way to see La Boheme is in a theatre. That doesn't mean that it should, or rather will, be the primary means of distribution. Come on, are you really missing any of the subtleties of Herbie: Fully Loaded on your good sized television? And even if you have a film with subtle sound design like Kill Bill vol. 1 (vol. 2's sound isn't as "intentional" but that is another discussion), the film is still damn fine on the television. So long as you are watching movies in the proper aspect ratio, which varies from film to film, you aren't missing any of the director's vision and if you have a sophisticated sound system you are probably getting better sound at home than you would at the googleplex. Those Baby-Boomers don't want to shut up, if you know what I mean. For John Rogers over at Kung Fu Monkey it's the teens (BTW, it would cost almost $7.00/hr in CA not the $4.65 he proposes), but for me it has always been the Boomers.

"Honey? Why are their frogs raining from the sky? And what does that have to do with Exodus 8:2?"

For the record: "8:2 And if thou refuse to let [them] go, behold, I will smite all thy borders with frogs: "

Late last year, drudge and crew wanted to create a narrative wherein Kong was demonstrably a "flop." I responded fairly sternly. Well..it appears that not only was Kong not a flop in the theaters (its gross so far is $218 billion in the US and $544 billion total), it has apparently set a DVD sales record. Yet another sign that the now of visual entertainment is the DVD, and that market is largely about ownership not rental.

Opening Day

We have passed through the Void, largely unscathed, and reached the opening day of baseball.

We enter this year's season with hopes and worries. The World Baseball Classic gave us hope, hope that the game would expand to new markets, hope that a new era of international competition was beginning, and hope that American's could see how beautiful their national pastime is to watch.

The new book, Game of Shadows, with old allegations has us worried that people will let the sports writers create the narrative of the game. I'm not saying that steroids are not a serious issue for baseball, they are. But Game of Shadows is a re-presentation of the allegations, and evidence, which led Congress and the public to put pressure on baseball to have its current "3 strikes you're out" steroids policy. It seems small minded to me for the press to continue talking about the Bonds story as if it is new, rather than a continuation of an existing scandal.

Sports writers, contrary to the representation in Gehrig's speech in Pride of the Yankees, are the traditional "enemy" in baseball narratives. Think about The Natural (book and movie), Eight Men Out, The Southpaw, especially The Southpaw because there is no ambiguity regarding the protagonist's heroism. Remember that if sportswriters want to be more than presenters of statistics they have to find scandals or narratives of heroics. They need to tell stories in order to justify their existence. When few of the writers are talking about the amphetamine problems (""That's going to shake it up a little bit," Estrada said. "Amphetamines have been around since the days of Ty Cobb and Mickey Mantle. It was kept hush-hush and just accepted. Now that they're in the public eye, guys are getting criticized for taking them. I've heard guys say they'd retire if they can't take amphetamines. I don't know if they're joking or not.") of players, and focus on Steroids, they are overlooking the other problems of the game for the "crisis du'jour."

As anyone who studies baseball knows, cheating has always been a part of the game. It is baseball's dirty little secret. A-Rod "bumps" the first baseman, like Cobb used to "ram" the first basemen. Anyone who has read Old Time Baseball knows that a part of the great tradition of baseball is the correcting of past, less than moral, occurances.

Fritz once shared with me a funny bumper sticker regarding car racing, "There are two kinds of drivers...cheaters and losers." I think that the history of baseball is filled with this mentality. Even players who don't cheat won't hesitate to play as sneakily as the rules allow. The struggle of rules makers is to find the cheaters and punish them when they find them.

Let's enforce baseball's stricter new steroids policy. Let's not dwell in the past, recent or distant. Because, trust me, if you think there is some golden age when baseball was pure, I would be happy to talk with you about Mickey Mantle's bacterial infection and its causes or Joe D and his "wonderful treatment" of Marilyn Monroe.

Introduction

Christian has done something many would consider insane -- he's graciously allowed me to post here at Cinerati. I'm very excited for the opportunity to share in the conversation about pop culture on this blog. For those of you who don't know me, I have my own blog called Shouting Into the Wind where I typically blog about TV, film and specifically screenwriting. I hope to post on these topics here at Cinerati as well as whatever else I dream up.

So thanks, Christian for the invitation. I hope I don't let you down.

A Million Little Panels

Baby- if you ever wondered
Wondered whatever became of J.C.-
I’m posting on the web on Cinerati
Cinerati- on your PC

I’m glad to be a guest poster on Cinerati. I am a regular reader and fan so it’s an honor to be invited by Christian and Company to share some thoughts with you. And now my childhood plan to memorize the WKRP theme song has finally paid off- in spades. As you may or may not know, you can usually find me over at The Shelf along with fellow cynic at large and all around jovial guy, Wolf Flywheel. However, I thought that my message that I had today was important to share wherever I can. You see, I used to have a problem. A serious problem, in fact. A problem that took so much of my time and money. I am proud to say that I am well on the road to recovery. That is why I’m sharing this with you, in hopes that I can reach someone else out there who knows of what I speak. Yes, my friends I am a recovering comic book collector.

Confessions...
Don’t laugh. Don’t judge. You may look at me and mock - but you do not understand. Have you ever been standing by a section of comics, knowing full well that the money you’ve saved could go to so many other worthwhile, important things? Charity, helping the homeless, animal shelters, bills, food, gas... well you get the idea. You stand there, guilty as hell, but you’ve just got to have issue #294- because it all leads up to the Ultimate Crisis Crossover Infinite Megawar limited series that you’ve already preordered. Besides- this issue has the brand new costume. You buy it, avoiding the gaze of the cashier at the bookstore or megastore. Hopefully she doesn’t recognize you from school. Darn your stupidity- your irrational judgement! Yes you should have gone to the comics store- but they sold out a week before release. And you just had to have it. You just had to!

Oh it started simply enough. My dad would buy me the occasional Disney Comic. Harmless right? Junior Woodchucks and the like. Little did he know that Uncle Scrooge was a gateway comic. Soon I was experimenting with the Whitman 3-pack. Three comics in one plastic bag- who could resist? Before you know it, I’m standing next to the comics rack at the convenience store trying to figure out how I can score both a pack of Sweetarts and the new issues of the X-men and Spider-man. It wasn’t long before I was into the hard stuff. Limited Series, Annual issues, Crossover series, and even the occasional preorder. I wasn’t hanging out at the grocery store either. I was at the comic shop watching some greasy, overweight, bearded asthmatic putting my weekly fix in a bag and telling me how if I haven’t read the black and white indie comics I haven’t READ comics. I remember telling myself- I can stop. I’m not going to be that guy. I’m normal... I’ve got a girlfriend, I go to school- I don’t have a problem. Then it happened. I went home and read through my whole new score in a measly afternoon and was already wondering where I was going to get my next fix. Heck, that guy mentioned the black and white indies. I could try those - or maybe even a graphic novel. Yeah, that's it. I'll just try to find some loose change. Oh maybe I could sell something. Then I realized... oh god, I am that guy.

Realization and Recovery...

I had to stop and think - maybe I do have a problem. What had happened to me. Where did the fun go and become replaced with obsession? That was it. It wasn't fun anymore. It was a necessity. I couldn't fall behind. If I missed just one issue, I... I... I shuddered to consider the implications. And what’s worse- the comics themselves just weren’t the same anymore. I didn’t even really read them to enjoy them. I had to have them, because I had to keep up- I had to know what was going on. Little had I noticed that they were more expensive, and while I had to keep up with the storyline, the comics companies themselves had given up on the storyline a long time ago. In fact, I couldn’t count the different origin stories anymore. Or the new costumes, or who was allied with who, who ticked off who, or even who was now a hero and who was a villain. The comics had abandoned me... that little kid who years ago couldn’t wait to go to the grocery store to pick up a great story about their favorite hero. The comics companies made it too hard to even enjoy them anymore- but I was hooked. I knew what I had to do... I had to go cold turkey.

I declared my independence from comics collecting. I left the country for a while, helping other people. That is perhaps the indication that you are on the road to recovery. I fought hard. I occasionaly stepped it down a notch by reading a three panel comic... like a patch. Oh sure, I felt the occasional pang for a full color giant size issue, but I fought it by remembering that ultimately that road lead to disappointment. Those comics weren’t the comics I wanted. Those were gone- replaced by expensive, audience targeted, marketing ready product. Not the joyful art I missed. Ironically, I was the very target audience that the comics sought, the 18-30 year old male. But they lost me because they abandoned the key demographic that kept them alive for so long: the kid. Because they left the kid behind, they lost their innocence and it was a way out.

After I came back into the country, I got a job and went to college. I got married and had kids. I graduated with honors and became a useful member of society. I beat the problem. And you can to. Just have the courage to look at your problem and realize what it has become. Don’t let it beat you. Take it one day at a time. Everyday I tell myself, I am a recovering comic collector. I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it people like me. I realized that my life is full and there are so many things out there to enjoy... and I know you can do it also.

Thanks for listening, and please take my story to heart and learn from it. I must go now, my son has just gotten into my mylar bags in the garage. I need to make sure he doesn’t mess with that issue where Spider-man gets the black suit. I need that one for the movie.

J.C. Loophole

J.C. Loophole is one of the creators of The Shelf. He takes full responsibility for all comments made here, although any complaints must be directed elsewhere... possibly to an email account that will lead nowhere and to a dummy corporation that will not respond to any inquires and will ultimately shield J.C. Loophole from all lawsuits. Any requests to appear on Larry King Live, Letterman, or any other talk show, or any request for book contracts may be directed to The Shelf. Please understand that due to the current nature of publishing memiors that the author's tongue may have been firmly planted in cheek. PS- Oprah, call me.