Chess Continues to Be Snubbed by Toy Hall of Fame

The National Toy Hall of Fame, founded in 1998, has let another year pass without inducting Chess into the Hall. Many experts considered Chess to be a shoe in for initial inauguration, which didn't happen, but who could have guessed that after 8 years of inductees that Chess would be left to wait another year for consideration?

2006 saw the induction of the Easy-Bake® Oven and the Lionel® Train Set. Worthy entries to be sure, but alas no Chess. Experts close to this reporter have shared that Chess's exclusion may be due to concerns regarding Chess's moral character. Incidents like that "One Night in Bangkok" and Chess's active participation in Cold War battles were mentioned as possible reasons for exclusion.

I would like to note that Chess was not even among the considered nominees for the prestigious Toy Hall in 2006. The 2006 nominees were: Atari® Game System, Big Wheel, Easy-Bake® Oven, Lite-Brite, Fisher-Price® Little People, Hot Wheels®, Lionel® Trains, Operation Skill Game, PEZ® Candy Dispenser, Rubber Duck, Skateboard, and Twister®.

Some anti-Chess activists have commented that Chess is a boardgame and not a toy and should thus be excluded from the Hall, but considering that prior inductees include Monopoly®, Checkers, and Candy Land®, this is complete rubbish. Let's see...a game invented by a flat tax advocate which lived its early years as an Econ class instruction tool, a game Chess could sue for trademark infringement, and the quintessential strategyless track game are included but Chess isn't?

One need not even mention the controversial induction of the Cardboard Box which is in all actuality a nomination for children's imagination (though that deserves a place in the Hall).



Please make sure to nominate Chess in the upcoming year. If the elites won't do it, it is time for We the People to do our part.

Eragon: A Concurring Opinion

I agree with much of what Rob has to say about the recent film Eragon, in particular with regards to the dragon character design and effects. Those were the only part of the film that could be considered good. As for my opinion of the film overall, Eragon wasn't quite as bad as The Sword and the Sorcerer, but worse than the first Dungeons and Dragons movie. Maybe the Gymkata comparison is a perfect one, as I am willing to rewatch Gymkata if only to mock its feeble attempt to emulate a martial arts film.

The novel Eragon was a clunky, but fun, piece of juvenalia that anyone older than 5 would recognize the tropes and lack of surprises. As for the movies, some jave gone as far as to say the movie is Star Wars remade, but that is only true in so far as Star Wars is an unabashed replication of the Hero of a Thousand Faces thesis.

Star Wars translates the Space Opera and Planetary Romance through the lens of Joseph Campbell while Eragon translates Star Wars through the lens of Tolkien and Romantic Fantasy.

My complaints about Eragon have nothing to do with whether the film was original in its ideas.

Eragon wasn't original, but neither was Star Wars. The first Lucas film, A New Hope, is riddled with images and narrative arcs liberally lifted from other material. In fact, there are those who say that Star Wars is merely Lord of the Rings. I am not one of those, I know that Star Wars is Flash Gordon meets Buck Rogers. Lucas even borrowed the "energy bridge swashbuckler swinging" scene from Flash Gordon. Regardless of its influences, Star Wars is a great movie. It is inspired by the serials and by planetary romances (don't forget that planetary romance giant Leigh Brackett wrote a draft of Empire Strikes Back -- she also wrote Rio Bravo one of my favorite Westerns)

Eragon, on the other hand, is uninspired. It borrows plot points, but lacks heart.

What does it have? Well...let's see.

• Young boy with unknown parents, raised by an uncle, destined for greatness ala King Arthur and Luke Skywalker? Check.


• Evil lord ruling the land ala Tolkien? Check.


• Order of mystical knights betrayed by one of their own like the Samurai, Jedi, and Knights of the Round Table? Check.


• A potent magic item of objectionable past ala Lord of the Rings and The Elric Saga, Hawk the Slayer, Sword and the Sorcerer, and Krull? Check.


• Elves and Dwarves? Heard of but not seen...Check


• Helms Deep? Check


• Powerful unnatural hunters pursuing our hero ala Lord of the Rings, The Shannara Series, and most Greek hero narratives? Check.


• Mysterious old master training our young pup ala Merlin, Obi Wan, and Cheiron? Check

Wow! This movie has everything but a flying frisbee weapon called the Glaive and yet it still lacks heart. The movie was just going through the motions.

Eragon

I have not had much opportunity to go to the movies over the last 2 years. That being said, I did manage to go to Eragon over the Christmas break. I would like to start with something positive but all I can come up with was that the special effects for the dragon were quite good. That is really the end of the list. The movie belongs in the dregs of movie history along with Gymkata, the Kurt Thomas masterpiece.

It was simply a terrible movie. The plot was clunky, the dialogue contrived and the story was horrid. There was never a thought that the villains would prevail, they were shown to be extremely inept. The characters were hard to care about and two normally good actors Irons and Malkovich were rather uninspired. Perhaps, child support or a new pool needed to be paid for. Malkovich simply walked about his throne room and hatched his evil plans, dreadful.

I am usually an easy critic, I only want to be entertained. I wasn't. There was no suspension of disbelief and the story was so clunky that if I hadn't been with friends I would have walked out. So to Eragon to enthusiastic thumbs down. You can't get the hour and forty minutes back once you waste them on this movie. Don't do it.

Merry Christmas!

AMC to Bring New Version of The Prisoner to the Black Box

While the movie catalogue of American Movie Classics has shrunk since the arrival of Turner Classic Movies, the catalogue of quality television shows on the channel has increased. Last year, I was obsessed with watching each new episode of Hustle. The show lifted narratives from some of my favorite grifter based movies, everything from "The Sting" to the highly under-rated "Traveller" served as inspiration for the series. As I watched each new episode, I felt the joy I felt when I first read Walter Gibson's (the creator of The Shadow) The Bunco Book with its tales of cons and conmen.

Now AMC is partnering with Granada and Sky One to bring to our mind-numbing black boxes a remake of the classic television series The Prisoner. Those who have read this blog for some time know that I used to go by the nom d'cyber Number One, a direct reference to this television show. For those who thought it was a Star Trek reference, let me quote Robert in the wonderful Gen-X film Free Enterprise "I would never live in the 24th century! I fucking HATE "The Next Generation". Only classic!" Needless to say, I am very jazzed about the possibility of a new Prisoner series.

But before some member of Six of One wanders into this website wondering at my Prisoner street cred, let me just set the record straight. I like the show, I don't obsess about it like I do about Avengers comic books (the one with Thor). In fact, I am one of those controversial and strange animals that thinks of The Prisoner as a sequel to Danger Man (aka Secret Agent) and was introduced to both The Prisoner and Danger Man by the Danger Mouse cartoon (though it also borrowed liberally from Holmes and 007).

As a bonus, AMC will run the original series at the same time they debut the new one.

PSP Finally Marketing Some of Its Functionality

Maybe you've seen the newest Sony Playstation Portable (PSP) commercial where the girlfriend leaves pictures on her boyfriend's PSP with the note to "find me." Maybe you've said to yourself, "Isn't the PSP just a video game machine which also has overpriced minidisc movies?" Surprisingly, the PSP is far more than that. The PSP is one of the most amazing multimedia devices available. It plays video games, mp3s, stores photos, can watch movies, has wireless access. Oh...and it also has web browsing capabilities.

One small problem...Sony forgot to tell people what this device is capable of doing. It looks like that might change as Sony has decided, due to poor UMD (you know the overpriced minidisc movie) sales. I looks like Sony is going to offer downloadable movie content for your PSP.

Is Stop Motion Photography Animation?

I remember reading an article, or hearing a radio interview, about the nature of music manipulation and its relation to copyright protection. Moby was talking about how djs give added value to existing music, either altering an existing song sufficiently to give new meaning or using such small clips that the resulting mix was an entirely new song. The crux of the conversation was that the turn-table could be considered a musical instrument. I think there is some merit to that position, but that the added value needs to be significant for any given song to be a truly new creation.

I was reminded of the above conversation when I saw the video below. It looks like Lasse Gjertsen has managed to find a way to turn stop motion photography into an animated song. All the music is original, but what struck me was Lasse's claim that he didn't know how to play a piano or a drum set. Even if he is not lying, he is obviously quite proficient at manipulating sound editing software, and video software, to create an intriguing video. But is stop motion animation of a real person animation? If so...is this animation? Discuss.

Star Wars as Mentos Commercial

A friend of mine who I used to work with at my workstudy job at USC directed this Star Wars Fan Film.

Why Star Wars Fans Are Better Than Lucas.

Golden Age Creator of Green Lantern Dies

Ever since I was a young kid Green Lantern has been my favorite superhero. When asked the deep geekosophic question "Who is the best, Batman or Superman?" I would always answer with the non-sequitor Green Lantern. Much like when asked the rock-n-roll question regarding the Beatles and Stones, I answer The Who. At first my love for Green Lantern was aimed at test pilot Hal Jordan, but as time passed and my skill ranks in Geek (Comic Books) and History (Comic Books) increased I found a new (or rather old) Green Lantern to love. It all started with Roy Thomas's All-Star Squadron with its stylish and original lineup of Golden Age characters. Once I was introduced to Dr. Midnite, Doctor Fate, Starman, and the Golden Age versions of the Flash (Jay Garrick) and Green Lantern (Alan Scott) I was hooked.

The 80s were a time when the "modern" heroes were entering into dark phases where morality was grey and justice was hard to find. The stories were great, but the part of my soul which longs for fun, adventure, comedy and justice (an interesting combination to be sure) found the Bronze Age heroes lacked these traits, but the Golden Age heroes had them in abundance. The Golden Age heroes also had a kind of laissez faire attitude about where superpowers come from and how superpowers worked. The Silver Age had begun the scientification, and pseudo-physics justification, of superpowers. Heck, the Silver Age Green Lantern's powers were powered by piece of technology, and the changes from the original Green Lantern were inspired by Doc Smith's wonderful Lensman series. Bronze Age Green Lantern could "red shift" his green energy beam to inflict damage on another Green Lantern, but the Golden Age Green Lantern's powers were mystical (and his vulnerability to wood was a classic mystic weakness).

The more I read, the more I liked Alan Scott and the more I spent on Archived editions of All-Star Comics and dreaming of being able to afford All-American Comics #16.

The Los Angeles Times has an obituary dedicated to Alan Scott creator Martin Nodell. It is a solid piece, but typical of the Times the obit is provided by Newsday and not written by a Times writer. Monkeybrain Press editor Chris Roberson had a link to a nice piece by comic scholar extraordinaire (and creator of the D&D cartoon) Mark Evanier on Sunday. Boy...the Times are sure prompt aren't they?

The Number One Reason to Watch CSI:Miami

I was having a conversation with David Chute and Tulkinghorn of The Hungry Ghost a couple of weeks ago, we went out for dumplings, and mentioned that I have a deep and inexplicable affection for CSI: Miami. In particular, I am a huge fan of Horatio Caine. H, as he is called on the show, is who brought me back week after week and made me a fan. I started out merely making fun of the character, but I eventually got sucked in to what is actually quite a good show.

I still make fun of H, but now I both mock and adore him. You see, the character of Horatio Caine is a combination of all my entertainment vices. He is overly dramatic like Captain Kirk. He never has to fill out paperwork for any of his many shootings. He is the CSI equivalent of Doc Savage: the Man of Bronze, he's even semi-bronzish. As Ray Richmond of Past Deadline states, "a character name that tells you all you need to know in two words." In addition, I can think of almost no better representation of the D&D Paladin class than Horatio Caine, the obvious exception is Paksenarrion. He is Lawful Good to the core, but is also smart/savvy enough to defeat those who manipulate the law in order to gain freedom. God help you if you ever raise his wrath in a situation where he has the legal authority to cap your ass, because he will. He is relentless in the pursuit of evil, sympathetic to the victim, and punishes those who take the law into their own hands. If there was anything "supernatural" on CSI: Miami, I am certain that H could "turn undead."

Long story short, David Chute sent me a link which included this collection of H one liners. It really is absurd how seriously David Caruso delivers these lines, but he is extraordinarily consistent in his performance of Caine. In fact, my next D&D character is totally going to be based on him.

H
"What do we have Rogue?"

ROGUE

"A Locked Door."

H

"Somebody doesn't want us going in..."

ROGER DALTRY

"YEAH!"

New Blog Added to the Blogroll

I recently googled the name of a professor I admired as an undergrad and discovered that she had a blog. Part of the motivation for the googling was that I just returned to her a book she loaned me, Slan by A.E. Van Vogt, which had been in my possession for over half a decade since the initial loan, a near unforgivable slight. I can only plea for mercy and admit that the book had been in storage and I only discovered still being in possession of the book during our recent move. The move was in March, but I didn't completely finish unpacking books until a little over a month ago.

Needless to say, guilt and the fact that the professor hasn't written back have led me to worry that the said professor is at this very moment Tuckerizing me as some sort of mishapen, forgetful, and evil being from the inter mundia. My guilt led to the google which in turn led to the discovery of the blog. I have since added the blog, Rickety Contrivances of Doing Good, to the blogroll. The blog is an interesting glimpse into the mind of the professor, Susan Palwick, who describes herself as:

"SF/fantasy writer. English professor. Episcopalian. Licensed lay preacher. Volunteer ER chaplain (but not clergy). And a few other things, less easily labeled. The title of this blog is a phrase John Clute used to describe the plots of my first two novels. It both amused and annoyed me, and I finally decided to reclaim it as a badge of honor. Would you prefer rickety contrivances of doing bad?"

Professor Palwick falls squarely into the school of science fiction writers that Rick Klaw would refer to as progressive, but she lacks the underlying cynicism of many of the writers in that class. Where Michael Moorcock's writing is clouded in despair, Palwick's writing often has an underlying sense of hope, faith if you will.

As I wrote the above paragraph, I was reminded of the other reason she might have for not replying to my hand-scrawled note included with her book. I spent more time on a brief rant against a couple of critics of her last book, The Necessary Beggar, including a brief critical sentence about Charles Stross's Clan series, and not enough time discussing how much my wife and I missed her writing classes and her wonderful and encouraging criticism.